Meta Fic Alt: Survival of the Memes
by BlueWhaleKing
Summary: When a terrible accident overthrows every Ship Nation in the RWBY Sector of the Reddit Galaxy, dozens of Meme Ships scramble to seize control in the chaos. Inspired by the Meme Ship Survivor event on r/RWBY.
1. Chapter 1

It was the announcement everyone was waiting for. Dozens of representatives gathered in the Ship Wars Assembly Hall on r/RWBY to hear it.

Peter s. Nachbar, the host of Ship Survivor, stepped onto the stage. He wore a shiny black hooded cloak, though no one agreed on what color it shimmered. Some said one particular color, others said plain gray, while a few said it was iridescent with every color of the rainbow. No one knew what his face looked like, he kept it covered at all times with a Guy Fawkes mask.

Closest to the stage stood Yukon Wolf, the official historian of Ship Survivor. Like Peter, his whole body was covered, though it wasn't always so. After suffering horrific burns in the first Ship Survivor, he retired from fighting and chose to become a historian and author instead. He wore a black life support suit and a terrifyingly realistic wolf mask.

Peter stepped up to the microphone. "The polls are in," he said, his voice gravelly. "Ship Survivor III will begin in approximately four months."

Some of the representatives, including Yukon, breathed sighs of relief, while others groaned in disappointment.

One particular representative, Link CMXXII of White Rose, was distraught. Peter began talking about the next Rate A Ship poll, but Link didn't hear. He was too busy replaying the announcement in his mind. "_Four months…_" How was he going to wait that long?

He turned around, walking towards the exit.

"Where the hell are you going?" asked his friend, Armory.

"Back to Pink Rose Gold headquarters," said Link, as he opened the door to leave the building.

**Later**

The High Council of Pink Rose Gold was assembled at a round table at their interim capitol on r/RWBY. They didn't yet have enough Karma to purchase their own planet, but it wouldn't be long.

Link was at the table with his fellow councilors. His comrades from White Rose, Armory and Jannis, sat by his sides. On the opposite side of the table were three Oligarchs of Arkos. Kyle Strike Blaster Freedom X2 D'Elise, Supreme Commander of the Air Force. Blue Whale King, Grand Admiral of the Starfleet, and a new promotion, Lord Penguino of a branch yet to be determined. On another side sat Generic Usernaym XXI and Venom Ahab of Lancaster. Lastly, there were Sam Shazam, a primary supporter of Pink Rose Gold, and MacGregor Rose, who worshipped the goddess Ruby separate from any ship, but also supported Pink Rose Gold.

"First order of business, we need to capitalize on these four months as much as possible," said Sam. "Pink Rose Gold must have our own planet by Ship Survivor."

"I can make propaganda for r/ArkosForever," said Penguino. "There is support in the Nation of Arkos, we just need to help it grow."

"I'll try to promote on r/LancasterCavalry," said Generic, "if Masta Of Bitches will allow it. Unfortunately I can't guarantee."

"The Church of White Rose can make a considerable donation," said Jannis.

The councilors continued to talk about the logistics of moving r/PinkRoseGold to its own planet, but Link wasn't paying attention. He couldn't take his mind off of Ship Survivor.

"Link? Are you okay?" asked Jannis, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Ugh, not really. I'm just upset about Ship Survivor. I really thought starting in one month would win. How am I going to wait _four_?"

"At least this will give Yukon enough time to finish his book," said Strike. "With all the memory loss and confusion after Ship Survivor, we'd be fucked if there wasn't a cohesive account."

"Yeah, but that doesn't make me feel better," said Link. "I still need something to occupy that time and blow off steam."

"I propose that you ask the mods if you can host your own event, maybe a Meme Ship Survivor" said Blue Whale King. "I voted for four months only for the reason Strike said. I'd much rather do it sooner, but I didn't want to risk there not being a book for Ship Survivor III."

Link thought for a moment. "Hey, that might actually work. I'll ask them first thing in the morning. Until then, I'm going to the bar to celebrate."

"I'll stay with you and take you home so you don't kill yourself like an idiot," Armory said.

"Armory, be nice," said MacGregor.

"Never," said Armory, smirking.

"No, thank you," said Link. "I'll just get a hotel room tonight and head to the Mod offices first thing in the morning."

"Ok, just don't go _too _crazy," said Jannis.

"You're one to talk," said Penguino, but Link had already left.

**Too many drinks later**

Link had reconsidered his idea to ask the Mods to host his own event. What if they said no? What if the time to get a permit was too long? What if he wasn't any good at it? What would a "meme ship survivor" even entail, anyway?

It really wasn't fair that Ship Survivor had to be so far away. Why couldn't Yukon just write faster? Or get help? Was it _really_ necessary to have a book written about it? Couldn't people just find a way to remember better?

The longer Link thought about it, the angrier he got, and the less he could justify delaying Ship Survivor. Until he got an idea.

He would make Ship Survivor start _tonight._

**One ill-advised trespass later**

Link looked up at the gigantic Anomaly Portal Connection Machine, towering like a skyscraper in the vast underground chamber. This was the machine that connected the Subreddit to Anomaly Zones, the remains of collapsing universes that were filled with Bragging Rights for anyone who could conquer them. These zones were where Ship Nations fought the Ship Wars battles every year.

But there was one Anomaly Zone that was greater than all others. It was a world just as real as the "main" one, but every year, a giant portal swallowed the entire RWBY Sector of the Reddit Galaxy and merged it with itself. The denizens of all the RWBY Subreddits had a brush with a medieval version of their world, and it was in this universe where they fought the war known as Ship Survivor. Afterward, the timelines would separate, and those in the futuristic universe had confusing, incomplete, and contradictory memories. Peter s Nachbar was in charge of dealing with that portal, while Yukon Wolf seemed to be the only one who had a clear memory of the events.

If Link could get inside the machine, he could summon the Ship Survivor portal early. If.

As he tiptoed towards the machine, he saw the primary guard on duty. Tragic Solitude, a former member of the Mod Council. Fortunately, she was asleep at her post. Unfortunately, she was in a reclining chair right in front of the entrance to the machine.

As he got closer, Link was having second thoughts. It had been hours since he left the bar, and the alcohol was starting to clear. Still, he had come this far, it was too late to back out now. Plus he had a ways to go before the liquid courage was completely gone.

He tried the door to the machine. Locked. He was about to grab his toolbag to pick the lock, but it would be too noisy. He looked down and saw that Tragic had a keyring on her belt.

Biting his tongue, he cut the keyring with a pair of wire cutters. The key to the machine was easy to find, as it had a large red Bragg crystal decorating the end.

Link opened the door and slipped into the machine. As he closed the door, Tragic started to stir.

Once inside, Link raced up the stairs to the top floor. Soon he found what he was looking for: a gigantic red button with the words SHIP SURVIVOR on it. It was a good thing Nachbar had a flair for the dramatic. Unfortunately, he also had a flair for security, as there was a nearly indestructible cover locked over the button with a retina scanner, thumbprint scanner, _and _a passcode required to unlock it.

"Hey! what's going on in there?" Tragic Solitude shouted, now fully awake and banging on the door.

"_Oh shit,_" Link thought. He would have to be fast. Crouching under the button, he pulled a blowtorch out of his toolbag and melted open the paneling to expose the wiring and circuits. He began cutting and splicing various wires to bypass the locks on the button.

Outside the machine, Tragic grabbed her radio and called Melanie Antiqua, hostess of Ship Wars and owner of the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine. "Melanie, it's Solitude. We have an emergency, an intruder has broken into the APCM and locked me out!"

"What?! I'll be right over!"

Link almost had it. Just a couple more wires to unlock and prime the button, when he heard the door slam open several floors beneath him.

"_Shit shit shit shit…_"

He spliced the final wire just as Tragic Solitude and Melanie Antiqua, still in her nightgown, reached the top floor.

"Freeze!" they shouted simultaneously, Tragic pointing her gun and Melanie her Bragg-powered all-purpose shapeshifting key.

"You're too late," Link said, and pressed the button.

A hum went through the machine as it tried to summon the Ship Survivor Portal. Unfortunately, a couple of the spliced wires had exposed ends too close together, and the current jumped over. Just as the portal was beginning to form, a power surge rocked the machine.

The surge was so violent that it knocked all three people to the floor. "What did you do?!" Melanie asked, crawling to the hotwired button as the machine continued to shake.

"I can't wait four months for Ship Survivor," Link replied.

"You've created a feedback loop into the Power Core! It could destroy the whole planet!"

"You've doomed us all!" Tragic shouted at Link.

Melanie began tearing wires apart in a desperate attempt to stop what was happening. A few moments later, she sighed in relief.

"It won't destroy the planet, but I still need to finish stabilizing the core. As for _you_," she pointed to Link, "you're facing a sentence of-"

The Braggtonium crystal in the Power Core exploded. Melanie raised the key and formed a shield around them as the exploding crystal tore the machine apart.

It didn't destroy the planet, but the explosion was still cataclysmic. A red shockwave emanated from the remains of the machine. Wherever it encountered a large Bragg crystal in the Capitol of a Ship Nation, the connected crystal also exploded.

The Castle of r/LancasterCavalry on r/RWBY tumbled to the ground. The Renora Fortress did the same. The shockwave spread beyond r/RWBY, propagating through space to hit the other planets in the sector. The towering honeycombs of r/Bumbleby melted. The gleaming black and white spires of r/Checkmating collapsed. The magnificent cathedrals of r/WhiteRose burst into flames. The crystal dome over the Jaunrrha Citadel on r/ArkosForever imploded.

Within minutes, the superluminal shockwave had exploded the primary Bragg crystal of every established Ship Nation, destroying all of their capitols. Overnight, the RWBY sector of the Reddit galaxy had gone from well-established order to anarchy. Only the provinces of the Ship Nations and various unaffiliated groups, the Meme Ships, still remained.

On r/RWBY's arid sister planet, r/FNKI, the lawless people looked up at the lights in the sky and smiled. The old Ship Nations were gone. It was time for the Memes to take over.

**The rest of this fic to be based off of Meme Ship Survivor. See you there!**


	2. Chapter 2

**The next day, the fallout begins**

Tragic Solitude awoke many hours later, with a bizarre and unpleasant feeling permeating her body.

"Ughhhh…" she moaned as she sat up, rubbing her forehead. She looked around, and saw smoldering wreckage and sparking electric components everywhere. Shards of crystal littered the floor. Mostly red and purple, but a few other colors as well. They glowed with a strange energy that made them disorienting to look at.

Next to her was the motionless form of Melanie Antiqua, surrounded by a puddle of blood. Tragic's eyes widened as she took in the sight. She rushed over to her friend.

"Melanie? Melanie? OH MY GODS, MELANIE! PLEASE WAKE UP!"

It was no use. There was no pulse, Melanie Antiqua was dead.

As Tragic stood up, memories of the night before started to return. The intruder, Link, sneaking into the machine to start Ship Survivor early. Calling Melanie for help. Something going wrong, and the Power Core exploding.

Link. Where was Link? She looked around, but he has gone. Perhaps crushed under the rubble? No, there were footprints in the dust leading away. He must have awoken earlier and left.

Tragic followed the footprints out to the last remaining entrance to the cavern, other than the massive hole in the roof. Ascending the stairs, she eventually came to the surface to another shocking sight.

The city was gone, leveled by the blast. The skyscrapers were nothing but smoldering heaps of broken concrete and twisted steel.

Fortunately, the destroyed buildings meant dust everywhere, and dust meant more footprints to follow. She would have to find Link and bring him to justice. If anyone else was even alive, that is. Just how widespread was the destruction? Was it only the city? Or perhaps the continent, or even the whole planet?

Tragic walked for hours, seeing no one but the occasional corpse or severed body part. She couldn't place it, but she felt weird. Not just the shock of everything around her, but another sensation. Kind of like staring into a UV light for too long, but permeating her whole body. Was it the radiation from those crystals? Or was she dreaming? Was anything even real? Where was she going again?

Tragic started hearing voices in her head when she thought of the crystals.

_"There are really four dimensions, three which we call the three planes of Space, and a fourth, Time."_

_"Do you ever wonder what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? To be exiles?"_

_"Mr. Spock, set the calculations for time warp."_

_"Where we're going, we don't need roads."_

_"You weren't there, in the final days of the War. You never saw what was born… the Could've Been King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-Weres!"_

_"I'm a Time Lord. I'm the LAST of the Time Lords."_

In order to quiet the voices, Tragic talked to herself.

"Heh heh, nobody gonna stop me 'cause nobody's here! Everybody's so scared of me that they left! Don't need that seat on the Mod Council, this ashen dominion gonna be mine!"

Eventually, many miles past the ruins of the ACPM, she started hearing more sounds. Not just voices, but gunfire and explosions. And she couldn't make them disappear by talking to herself. They weren't just in her head.

"What's going on?" _Could it be? Are there others still alive?"_

Soon she came to a ridge, one of the foothills of the Guns N' Roses highlands. As she hiked to the top, a vast battlefield was laid before her.

**Down in the battlefield**

"Die fiend, you unholy invader of our Subreddit! Go back to the degenerate cesspool from whence ye came!"

JMHS Rowing, captain of a torpedo boat on the Crescent River, was locked in combat with the dreadnought battleship _That's Enough Internet For Today._ In the past 24 hours, the planet of r/RWBY had gone from an orderly and peaceful civilization to a free-for-all war zone. The APCM explosion had caused a chain reaction of exploding Bragg Crystals that overthrew every major Ship Nation except Guns N' Roses and Armed and Ready. For some reason, strange energies were preventing post-WWI tech from working across much of the planet. Many leaders were dead or missing, and the Mod Council was nowhere to be found.

In the chaos, dozens of new factions had sprung up and attempted to seize control. Instead of lending aid, their sister planet of FNKI had sent their most ambitious warlords and their followers to cause even more chaos. Including those in the _That's Enough Internet For Today _across the bend on the river. JMHS Rowing was also from FNKI, but at least they had arrived to help!

Another shell landed and exploded in the water nearby, drenching Rowing and pulling them out of their thoughts. They grabbed the railing as the waves rocked the boat. "Crew, continue evasive action! They can't keep us away forever! Gunners, continue firing on their cannons."

They were in a bad spot. With a bar of land in between their group of torpedo boats and the attacking dreadnought, they could not fire their main weapons. All they could do was continue dodging the enemy fire, and hope their crew's small arms fire could land a lucky hit on one of the enemy cannons. If they could just avoid getting hit for long enough, then they could move in close enough to launch the torpedoes. They were all that was left of the Guns N' Roses Navy, their battleship _Alabama _hadn't lasted long against the _That's Enough Internet For Today_'s heavy cannons.

As both sides were about to launch another volley, a new force came onto the scene. A dozen red Triplanes flew in with the sun behind them. Their leader shouted with a megaphone.

"This is Lord Penguino of the Oligarchy of Arkos, commander of the _AAA Orgy_ squadron! In the name of peace and sanity, I order you to stop fighting! Surrender now so that we may restore order!"

In response, the _That's Enough Internet For Today _turned their guns against the new arrivals, tearing two of their planes to shreds and damaging five others.

Rowing ran into their torpedo boat's cabin and grabbed the radio from the operator. "Penguino you fool, this is JMHS Rowing of Rubyland and the Guns N' Roses Navy. They invaded us, neutrality only helps the aggressor! Help us defeat _That's Enough Internet For Today _if you want to restore peace."

As Rowing returned outside, they saw that _AAA Orgy _was strafing both the enemy battleship and their own torpedo boats. So much for that. A bullet hit one of their crew in the throat. She dropped to the ground, gasping for air and spurting out blood.

"You'll pay for this!" Rowing shouted, shaking their fist at the sky. They turned to their remaining crew. "We're doomed if we stay here, so we have nothing to lose now. We're moving in for the attack! Small arms, fire on the planes. We're going to torpedo the _That's Enough Internet For Today._"

As the squad of boats moved around the bend, there was far less fire from the enemy battleship, as they had redirected much of it to the enemy planes. Only three remained as Rowing lined up their boat for the attack. They went back to the cabin to order the radio operator to tell the other boats to prepare to fire.

Just as Rowing was giving the order, they heard an explosion. Looking outside, one of the torpedo boats was on fire and sinking.

"PENGUINO!" Rowing shouted at the last plane. The red plane turned around to strafe the dreadnought again, but a shell clipped one wing. On fire and spinning, the plane started to fall.

"I'M SSOORRRYYYYYY!" Penguino cried as the plane fell, crashing into the enemy dreadnought and exploding as it hit one of their turrets. The ammunition in said turret exploded as well, taking it out of commission.

"Now's our chance," said Rowing. "ALL TORPEDO BOATS, FIRE!"

The remaining torpedo boats launched their eponymous underwater missiles into the side of the enemy battleship. They exploded in a line, sending waves through the river. _That's Enough Internet For Today _burst into flames and rolled onto its damaged side. Within minutes, it had sunk to the bottom.

**Up in the Guns N' Roses highlands, others watch and prepare**

"One threat gone, who knows how many more to go," said General MacGregor Rose as he watched the enemy dreadnought sink from a distance through his binoculars. "Poor Penguino. I hope the other Pink Rose Gold council members are okay."

_"Admit it, you just like watching your enemies burn," _said the voice in his head that had been plaguing him ever since the explosion. _"The safety of your friends is only secondary."_

"Shut up, Tanya," MacGregor muttured.

"Who's Tanya?" asked one of his soldiers.

"It's nothing," said MacGregor. "Get back to digging."

The soldier shrugged and resumed digging, joining the thousands of others who were creating a vast network of trenches to defend Guns N' Roses from invaders.

A**round the Subreddit, more players enter the game.**

Tragic had finally found her home, in a suburb far from the former city and the current battlefield. She was confused that only early pre-digital tech was working, but she had a personal project that still fit the bill.

Inside her huge, diesel-powered mech suit, Tragic had one small piece of technology unaffected by the anomalous energies emitting from the wreckage of the APCM. A Net-Comms watch with profiles of many major Redditors. She was currently watching an old video from Ship Wars 3 showing aerial combat between Arkos and Freezerburn.

One particular plane stood out. Outnumbered and outgunned, trapped behind enemy lines, it still gave a hell of a fight to its opponents. Dodging missiles, taking out multiple enemy planes at once, performing maneuvers that would turn most pilots to goo, it fought on against nearly impossible odds. And the pilot was pretty handsome as well.

Is this what Tragic was looking for? Is this what would cure the strange feelings she had after the explosion? She smiled as she looked at the pilot's profile picture.

"Ara ara Colonel Strike."

**In an old bunker left over from the Dimension Defender revolt**

Peter s. Nachbar took of his trademark mask, exposing his brown hair and greenish Brown eyes, and groaned. How could he let this happen? He should've known someone would get salty at the delay and done something stupid. If only he'd called for more security around the APCM!

"Jannis, Armory, let's gather more people. We need a plan."

**In a library**

Exspiro V Cremantam pushed the secret sliding bookshelf aside to reveal a massive artillery piece. Being underground, the Fanfic Library on RWBY had survived the explosion.

"So many factions fighting," he murmured. "But we will see who is _Objectively _the best."

**Under the sea**

"So much fighting and chaos," said Celtic Crown, captain of the submarine _Position of Power. _"At least it's not my fault this time!"

"Go Team ADAM!" shouts Branwen.

"Hey, where'd my watch go?" Celtic asks.

**In the invasion forces**

"Tick tock, your time is up," says Metas M Petivero, holding up the Stolen watch.

"Slaves for my Empire!" shouts a man who has no name but numbers.

**And all around the RWBY Sector of the Reddit Galaxy. But their plans will be for naught if they can't defeat ME.**


	3. Chapter 3

**The next day, at r/ArkosForever, my enemies gather...**

Two massive star dreadnoughts dropped out of hyperspace above the planet. Unlike r/RWBY, it was mostly wilderness. White ice caps on the poles, blue seas, violet mountain ranges, black volcanic areas, and continents covered in forests. Not all of them were green, some were red and orange in perpetual fall. It resembled a wetter and more verdant version of the legendary lost planet Gallifrey.

Unfortunately, this beauty was marred down on the surface. The crystal dome over the capitol city had shattered, and the city itself was up in flames. The Space Elevator running through the center still stood, but it wasn't very useful without one of its endpoints. In the streets of the outskirts and other cities around the planet, anti-Arkos rebels, striking from at least one hidden base on the planet, were causing even more destruction.

The rebels hadn't touched the massive spaceships above the planet, though. One dreadnought was round, bulbous, and streamlined, colored a pale blue. It housed massive shield generators. The other was sharp and angular, colored dark purple. It had a powerful superlaser in the bow. The first was called _Protect, _the second _Eliminate. _On board the _Protect,_ the leadership of Arkos was meeting to find a solution.

"I think we all know why we're here," said Blue Whale King, Grand Admiral of the Starfleet and Oligarch of Arkos, as he sat down at the table in a meeting room.

"The Catastrophe was bad, but we have the capability to rebuild," said Chaos Vulpix, captain of the _Eliminate _and Advisor to the Oligarchy. "The real problem is the rebels down on the surface. They're disrupting everything. We must destroy them before we can do anything else."

"Way to state what we already know, Vulpix," said Strike Freedom D'Elise, Supreme Commander of the Air Force. "The real question is, how? The rebels are too deeply mixed into our own territories. We can't use overwhelming force without killing civilians and our own troops. And that would just turn more of our people over to their side."

"We have to find some way to separate them and us," said Blue Whale King. "If we rally our people, we can drive the rebels out of our cities, then we can finally fight them on our terms."

"They must have a secret base as well," said Vulpix. "They aren't just rioters, there's some kind of organization behind this. They have too much tech and too many weapons. Otherwise our security forces would have put an end to it hours ago."

"I dunno," said Blue Whale King. "The Catastrophe was only a day ago. It takes longer than that to put down riots when the whole government is in shambles. I guess time will tell how powerful they really are."

Just then, the door opened, and a figure in a trench coat walked in. Everyone at the table stood up.

"Rodents! How did you get in here?!" asked Vulpix.

"Same as you did," said a squeaky voice. "Though the door."

"Hey! Don't piss them off!" shouted another small voice. "Whale has a pet snake!" The coat began convulsing as the various rodents inside began fighting with each other. "Plus we're supposed to be helping them!"

After a few moments of struggle, a voice under the hat at the top spoke up. "That's enough, I'll take it from here." The coat silenced. The hat tilted upward, revealing a porcupine underneath.

"Really though, how did you get on board?" Strike asked. "These ships just came from the most secure facility in the Nation of Arkos. No unauthorized personnel can enter without getting vaporized."

"Ah yes, r/BlueWhaleKingDNW," said the Porcupine. "So strange and secretive that a million conspiracy theories have sprung up around it."

A voice piped up from within the coat. "We wanted to see them aliens!"

"I said quiet," said the Porcupine. "Anyway, most ships, in space or at sea, have rodents on board. It wasn't difficult to blend in."

"I'll tell Madman Lava to tighten security against _all _lifeforms," said Blue Whale King. "But more to the point, _why _are you here? Don't think I've forgotten what you did in Character Survivor!"

"That's exactly why we're here," said the Porcupine. "We know we went too far, and wanted to make amends. We're planning on starting a new business soon: Ship Sinker and Couple Breaker Technologies. We'll be hiring out to anyone who needs a ship overthrown. With what's going on, we'll be sure to have lots of business. But first, we're going to help you win your next battle."

"That's wonderful, thank you!" said Strike. "We're not ready to fight yet, but until then, do you have any info about what's happening on r/RWBY? There's been a communications blackout ever since the Catastrophe. Penguino went over to assess the situation, but we haven't heard back."

The Porcupine bowed his head. "It's a terrible situation. Every ship nation except Guns N' Roses and Armed and Ready are gone. No one knows how those two survived. An anomaly surge from the machine has turned most of the planet into WWI tech. Several new factions have already arisen and declared War on each other. Some of them are from r/FNKI. They all seem to be based on Meme Ships."

"And what about Lord Penguino?" Blue Whale King asked, fearful of the answer.

"I'm so sorry, he was killed in the fighting," said the Porcupine. "The entire AAA Orgy squadron was wiped out. He managed to help take an attacking ship down with him, though."

"Gods damn it," said Blue Whale King.

"Fuck," Strike muttured.

"And he was just promoted, too," said Vulpix. "What a tragedy."

All three of them bowed their heads.

"Yeah, we lost a lot of good leaders in the Catastrophe," said the Porcupine. "Also A Pun, Anti Logic, Draztco, Inferno, Jelo, Kazehh, Melanie Antiqua, Onyzyon, Psiah, Rade Blunner, Sam Shazam, Torrasque, and most of the Mod Council, plus others I forgot. And many more are missing."

"Sam's gone too?!" Blue Whale King asked.

"Yeah, in the collapse of the Pink Rose Gold headquarters. Whole cities were leveled."

"This is fucked up," said Strike. Blue Whale King and Vulpix nodded.

**It's amazing how the order of society can fall almost instantly. They say it only takes one bad day to drive a person insane, the same can be said of a civilization as well. Even the most powerful nations and alliances are not safe. There will always be some threat, some disaster, that can topple them into chaos at the drop of a hat. No matter how blissfully secure their people may feel. Exciting, isn't it?**

"What about Link, Generic, Jannis, and Armory?" Strike asked.

"Link is missing, Generic, Jannis and Armory are still alive," said the Porcupine. "I don't know any more than that."

"That's a relief at least," said Strike. "Not _everyone's _dead."

"You said Meme Ships?" asked Blue Whale King. "If that's how it is, we'll have to do the same. We'll find our most secure cities and establish them as interim states based on Meme Ships. They will provide rallying points against those rebels. Once we crush the traitors, we'll move our forces to r/RWBY and stabilize the situation."

"That sounds like an excellent plan," said Vulpix.

"Arkos of Erusea is already well established," said Strike. "We can use that as one. I'll call r/EruseanPrincessWaifu for help. The Queen's forces will join us."

"Perfect," said Blue Whale King. "I have a couple other ideas too. ArkTanic and Miraculous Arkos."

"If you're having multiple ships, you should have a name for your new alliance," said the Porcupine.

"What about Arc-Nikos Appreciation League?" said a voice from the trench coat.

"No," said Vulpix. "We want to be seen as wholesome." The others nodded.

"We'll need something meme-y," said Strike.

"I got it," said Blue Whale King. "We shall be the Society for Arc-Nikos Support, or Team SANS."

"It doesn't get much meme-ier than that," said Vulpix.

"Let's do it," said Strike.

"Excellent," said the Porcupine.

"Now, to figure out which cities to use," said Strike.

**And then they had a very boring meeting that you probably don't want to read about. Well some of you might, but too bad! I'm corrupting everything, even this story! Mua ha ha!**

**City of Farbanti, r/EruseanPrincessWaifu**

The sun shone through the windows of the Royal Palace, where Rose Cossette Freedom D'Elise was on the phone with her husband. She gasped in horror as she learned the recent events.

"I'm so sorry about everything that's happened, my love. You and your friends just can't seem to stay out of trouble, and it's not even your fault. I wish I could do more to keep you safe." She smiled. "Of _course _I'll help you! I'll be over as soon as I can. I love you too."

After talking with Strike, Rosa called the commander of the Ustio 6th. "Futtlescish, the RWBY sector needs our help again. Prepare my ship."

**Three days later, back at r/ArkosForever**

"Looks like we have a good set of strongholds," said Vulpix. "Arkos of Erusea has the most military strength, ArkTanic has the best connections to other areas, and Miraculous Arkos is the best hidden. If the rebels are as weak as you say they are, Whale, they won't stand a chance."

"Let's hope I'm right," said Blue Whale King. "As long as they're as weak as the ones we just fought."

"With all of us working together, the Nation of Arkos will stand strong once again," said Rosa. Strike smiled and kissed her.

**But you already know it couldn't be that easy. What good is a story without villains? Sure, there are some good ones, but there's no story at all without conflict of some kind. And most of the best stories have strong antagonists. Though people love to hate them, the story wouldn't stand without them. And what good is life without stories? People need stories. Evil is necessary in this scheme, and someone must fill the role. So isn't it good to be evil sometimes?**

Blue Whale King's Net-Comms watch came to life with a distress call. "Your Blueness, ArkTanic is under attack! They have a huge force, we can't hold out much longer. Please help before- AAAGGHHH!" The connection turned to static.

Strike, Blue Whale King, Vulpix, the Collective of Various Rodents, and Rosa rushed to their vehicles of war to aid ArkTanic, praying that they could arrive on time to save the city, and cursing themselves for tempting fate.

**But fate had nothing to do with it. Back on r/RWBY, Generic fought his own battle, blissfully unaware of his impending doom.**

"People of the Subreddit, heed my words!" he called into his radio from a fortified position in a trench. "I am a man of logic. And my logical analysis has shown that Stairway to Haven lacks substance. They are bound together by a meme, but nothing more. What are their politics? Their ideals? Their plans for the future? They have not decided on that.

Any government formed by Stairway to Haven would be a failed state, as its members fought each other to establish anything beyond their shallow meme. This would only prolong the fighting and anarchy that plague us now. We cannot allow this! If we are to recover from this catastrophe, we must back Meme Ships that have established convictions and plans. To make way for them, we must eliminate Stairway to Haven!"

The people shout in agreement, and prepare their armies to wipe out the stale meme ship.

**Let their tanks roll over Stairway to Haven. Let them think they're winning. It will make their downfall that much sweeter.**

A pair of sinister red eyes watches Generic from afar, reveling in their evil plans.

**Soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**The pieces are falling into place. Soon, we can get the REAL plot started.**

"All right, all right, I'm leaving," said Peter s. Nachbar as he walked out of the bunker, Shatter soldiers marching him at gunpoint.

_I'll have to find a new base of operations. But first, they won't get away with this._

Peter looked around the outside of the bunker until he found it: the contingency he had set up in case an enemy force captured his base. A small black wire leading into the basement, with an endpoint a hundred yards away. Hiding behind a boulder, he picked up the end of the wire and connected it to a battery he kept in his pocket.

The electric current traveled through the wire and into the ammunition and ordnance stockpile in the bunker. There was a bright flash, and the bunker disappeared in a shockwave and an upheaval of debris. Shatter was no more.

"They left me no choice," Peter muttered. "I can't have armies that unprovokedly aggressive around if I want to fix this mess."

His radio spoke up. "Peter, it's Jannis. Are you okay? We heard an explosion at your location."

"I myself am fine," Peter responded. "But Shatter forced me out of our base and stole everything we had prepared. They were planning on using it to destroy the other factions. I had to use the self-destruct. Shatter is gone, but so is the base."

"Damn," said Armory's voice through the radio. "You really are a dangerous maniac- OW!"

Jannis cut in. "Sorry about him, he always says the wrong thing. What other locations could we use? Are there any more of Dimension Defender's old bunkers?"

"Not on this planet," Peter responded. "The Mod forces destroyed the others, the one I had to blow up was the last one on r/RWBY."

"That's unfortunate. What about the Fanfic Library? It's underground, it probably survived the blast. It would make an excellent base for our project."

"Excellent, let's meet there. Over and out."

Now they just had to cross miles of battlefield to get there, but it was nothing Peter and Jannis hadn't done before. Armory was inexperienced, but he made up for it with his skills and attitude. Well, _parts _of his attitude.

**Now, back with Link. We haven't forgotten about him.**

Link had been on the run for the past three days. Tragic Solitude and the forces of her meme ship, Mechanical Might, were blaming him for the Catastrophe and the death of Melanie Antiqua, among many others. Including his own former colleague, Zissman, back on r/WhiteRose.

The days were miserable. Not just sleeping in trenches, barns, or other less than stellar accommodations, not just the constant fear of death, whether from Tragic's forces, stray fire, or stepping on a land mine, or the other terrors and discomforts of war. No, the worst thing Link had to deal with was the guilt.

"It's all my fault," he said for the thousandth time as he continued wandering. He stopped walking just as he was about to run into a fence. Looking up, he took in his surroundings. He followed the fence for a while until he found the gate, then entered the Cemetery of the Deleted.

Link stood for a moment and looked around. There were thousands of tombstones. Many had the inscriptions worn off, their names forgotten. others were larger, with the largest being mausoleums for former Mods.

One had a statue of the god Jaune Arc holding aloft a golden potato, the tomb of Part Football. Atop a hill was the tomb of Jillian For Days. In front of the entrance stood the Auto Moderator bot, the large humanoid robot she had created to protect the Subreddit in her absence. Since the anomaly fields emanating from the ruins of the ACPM disabled or changed post-WWI tech, it had frozen into a statue. It held a sword across the entrance. It must have sensed the disruption before it fully shut down, and rushed to protect its master's tomb.

Link looked around at many prominent headstones. Patmaster. Jay Triqs. Also a Gun. RWYned5ever. DB. Customstone. _Wait a minute…_

Though that last one seemed suspicious, it wasn't enough to stop Link from tearing up.

How many more people would be added to this cemetery because of him? Melanie Antiqua, Sam Shazam, Lord Penguino, and Mr Zissman he knew for sure. Those names alone were crushing, but he knew that there were many, many, more. Possibly more than the countless thousands already buried or named in the cemetery.

Many thousands dead, all because of his reckless impatience. He never meant it do go this way! But what did that matter? It had, and he was powerless to fix it.

"I'm the worst person in the Subreddit," Link said to himself, before breaking down crying.

A couple minutes later, he heard a gravelly voice behind him.

"What's the matter, young man?" asked Peter s. Nachbar. "You don't seem to be by any particular grave."

Link startled at the voice. His guilt intensified as he turned around and faced the host of Ship Survivor, but he didn't dare reveal who he was or what he had done.

"It's just, it's just that… I feel so terrible in my life right now," Link said. "There was so much I wanted to do, and it's all ruined. These past few days have shown me that I can't do anything right. I'm a total failure. The world's gone to hell and I'm so powerless to fix anything, though I feel responsible to help. I don't know what to do. I wish Jillian or Football were here instead."

At least he didn't actually lie, though it wasn't the full truth. He started crying again.

"As long as you're here, you CAN make a difference," said Peter. "Even if it's minuscule, it's better than doing nothing. You have a major advantage over Jillian, Football, and all these other Deleted. YOU'RE still around. YOU can still do something. So don't waste your chance."

"You're right," said Link, wiping the tears off his face. "I'm I couldn't hold it together."

"It's all right. I'm heading over to the Fanfic Library to call a meeting, would you like to come with me?"

_I can't, Tragic might be there. Or someone else who knows or will figure out what I did._

"Sorry, but I'm best working on my own for the time being. It was nice meeting you though, Dr. Nachbar."

"Actually, you seem familiar," said Peter. "Have we met before?"

Link did not like where this was going. He had to get out, and fast. "Uh, maybe during Ship Wars 4, Ship Wars IF, or the Psiah Incident, but not recently. I have to get going. Good talk!"

With that, Link took off into a sprint. Other than not getting caught, he had a purpose again. He needed to make the Subreddit a better place, and what better way than by attacking Incest ships?

**But at the Library, the great Peter s. Nachbar and company might not like what they find.**

Peter, Jannis, and Armory arrived at the stairwell leading to the Fanfic Library simultaneously.

"That was lucky," said Jannis.

"More like a contrived coincidence," said Armory. "What were the odds?"

Peter just rolled his eyes. "Is no one going to talk about _that?" _he asked, pointing to the massive artillery piece sprouting up from the ground. The barrel was easily over a hundred feet long, with a muzzle a meter wide. It sat on a colossal turntable.

"Well yes, we were getting there," said Jannis.

"I thought it was so obvious that discussing it would be redundant," said Armory. "But since you insist, I'll start. Ahem: THERE'S A GIANT FUCKING CANNON ON TOP OF THE LIBRARY!"

"Well put," Jannis replied.

"You could hit a target a hundred miles away with that thing," said Peter. "I wonder how it's surviving the field preventing post-WWI tech?"

"Because it isn't post-WWI tech," said Armory. "They had that in WWI, they called it the Paris Gun. It was more for intimidation than anything, the shells were proportionately small and it wasn't very accurate. It had a range of 82 miles."

"Huh, so you do have a brain," said Jannis. Armory just elbowed him in response.

"Well, let's go down and see who's behind this," said Peter, walking down the stairwell.

Through the heavy double doors was the most enormous library in the RWBY Sector of the Reddit Galaxy. The main room was three stories high and so long that one could barely see the other side. Enormous, gold-plated pillars held up the roof, mostly around the edges of the floors but with the largest standing along in the center of the room. There was a gap through the middle of the floors, so one could see all three levels at once. But they didn't see any people there.

"It will certainly be big enough to house our meeting," said Jannis.

"If whoever's operating that cannon will let us," Peter replied.

"If not, we can always boot them in the head," said Armory.

"No, that would be against the values of what we're trying to do," Peter said.

"WELCOME!" shouted a voice, echoing through the formerly silent library.

"Who's there?" Peter called back.

"It is I! The Librarian, Exspiro Vindictam Cremantam! Welcome, to the halls of Objectivity!"

"Where are you?" asked Peter.

"Go up the staircase on the central pillar, you can't miss it."

They found their way to the central pillar and climbed the narrow, spiraling staircase around it. The room above contained just another bookshelf, filled with stories about the Subreddit itself.

"I remember these," said Peter, looking fondly at the titles.

"_The Collected Accounts of Team ANGQ, by Austin Rufus, Nitesco Gaming, Gwydion Forto and Quixotic Quail_"

"_Old Thrones"_

And the serial pamphlets containing individual chapters of _New Gods _and _Rising War._

Before they could pick up any of them, the bookshelf slid aside to reveal a room full of mechanisms and artillery shells. A strange man greeted them. He had unkempt hair with a bald spot, a wild beard, constantly shifting eyes, and a lined face. He wore a loose black robe.

"Greetings. I am Exspiro, the leader, citizenship, and army of Objectivity, Apathy X Jinn. How may I help you?"

"We were wondering if we could call a ceasefire in order to hold a meeting of the Subreddit," said Peter. "This seems like a good neutral location."

"Ah yes, I do like neutrality," Exspiro replied. "That's why I chose Objectivity after all. No biases or passions to cloud judgement. Nothing but the pure facts, the only things that are really real. With this mad world, and let's face it, my mad mind, we could all use a little Objectivity in our lives."

"Dude, you're freaking me out," said Armory. "Are you under the effects of HIATUS?"

Jannis elbowed him. "Armory, be nice. We don't want to blow this."

"Blow what?" Exspiro asked. (Armory snickered) "What are you planning with this meeting?"

"We would like to create an alliance of Rubyland ships to restore unity and order," said Peter. "I feel responsible for this mess and must fix it."

"Oh no," said Exspiro, his expression shifting. "That wouldn't be very objective, would it. In fact, it sounds totally biased. You'll have to go somewhere else. Unless you want to help me load the cannon for today's random target."

"RANDOM TARGET?!" Armory shouted. "You're firing that cannon at random targets? What's the point?! You're not objective, you're a total nutcase! How many Crack Fics have you been reading in this dusty asylum of yours?!"

Exspiro's expression changed again, to something even more wild. He jumped into a fighting stance and drew a sword from his robes.

"Face me then heathens! In the name of Objectivity! May the fates decide the winner!" He closed his eyes and started waving his sword around in erratic swings.

"Time to go," said Peter. "We'll have to find another spot."

"No, we can take him," said Armory. "There's three of us and only one of him."

"We don't know what else he has up his sleeves," said Jannis. "Could be a gun, a bomb, or something worse. Best not to test it."

"And we would have a hard time strategizing against someone so insane," said Peter. "And besides, I do have a good backup. The Cemetery of the Deleted, right next door. No one would dare attack that sacred space."

**Well, ALMOST no one.**

Generic was back in the ruins of HIATUS Labs, trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. The attack on Stairway to Haven was successful, but that was a minor concern. More important was figuring out what happened in the APCM explosion, AKA "The Catastrophe."

"It's not an Anomaly Portal or even an Anomaly Surge," he said to himself while pouring over documents. "We all remember our lives in the futuristic setting, we're not living alternate ones like in Yukon's world. The only thing that's changed is the technology level, and it's only on this one planet. The Arkosians and the Ash Ships are still fighting space battles in their system. What could it be? Perhaps a sub-surge? Did the explosion create a new type of Bragg variant? Most of the core must remain in some form, if it had _all _fissed the whole planet would be gone.."

He continued rambling to himself, not noticing the portal opening up behind him.

**Hello, Generic. I meet my counterpart at last.**

Generic turned around to see an alternate version of himself, wearing sinister looking clothes and with glowing red eyes. He dropped the papers in shock, then reached for something in his pocket.

"Who are you?! How did you get here?! Who am I?!"

**You can call me Generix. I'm here to take your place. Goodbye, weakling.**

Generix pulled out a gun and shot his counterpart in the head.


	5. Chapter 5

**No matter how many victories they achieve, some heroes may never be able to retire.**

On a remote mountaintop on r/RWBY, the legendary Austin walked out of a cave with a large bundle of pamphlets.

"Chapter 6 of _New Gods _is good to go, Yukon, I'm sure the people will love this one."

As he walked forward, he saw that his hover transport had turned into a biplane. _Uh oh…_ What had happened in the last few days? Upon closer examination, he found a seagull and a carrier pigeons with notes. The seagull's note explained the situation, and ended with:

_I cannot help until the rebellions on r/ArkosForever are crushed. In the meantime, r/RWBY needs more heroes. For details, see the other note. Sorry to disturb you, but the situation is dire._

_-Blue Whale King, AKA Admiral Bluewhale_

"Admiral Bluewhale… Where have I heard that name before?" That list of casualties was shocking, though. Inferno, Gwydion, Quixotic, nearly all of the Mods, and many others. It was too much to take in all at once.

The pigeon's note was from someone much more familiar.

"_Dear Austin,_

_I am holding a meeting in the neutral zone at the Cemetery of the Deleted, main pavillion, noon tomorrow. I would like to create an Alliance of Rubyland ships in order to restore order and solve this crisis. I need your help. In order to ensure we get enough representatives at the meeting, please write the time and place of the meeting on the back of each new chapter before you distribute them. I apologize for the inconvenience. Hope to see you there._

_-Peter s. Nachbar"_

"It seems the wars are never ending this year. I guess it is about time for myself and Armed and Ready to get involved again."

Austin walked back to the cave to add Peter's message to the backs of the chapter.

"That's a surprise," said Yukon as he fed the pamphlets back through the typewriter, "but I still can't leave. I really need to finish this."

"I understand. Wait, why are you adding 'Punch and pie?'"

"More people will come if they think you have punch and pie."

"Whatever, I hope that doesn't come back to bite me."

**Spoiler: it will.**

A few hours later, the message was on all the new chapters, and Austin flew off to distribute them.

**The next day, at the Cemetery of the Deleted**

It wasn't long before the main pavillion was full of people from all over the Subreddit. It seemed Peter didn't have to worry about attendance. It was still a few minutes before noon, so the gathered representatives and soldiers talked amongst themselves while they waited for the meeting to start.

"I wonder where Celtic is," asked Jannis. "It's not like him to miss something like this."

"He's over at r/ArkosForever," said Branwen, "fighting EnTAIre World. I will represent Position of Power and Team ADAM."

"Generic's missing too," said Armory.

"He's back at HIATUS Labs, trying to find a solution," said Venom. "We'll have to fill him in later."

"I don't even know what's going on here," said Azrael Saint.

"I can't believe my friend club is now a ship fighting a war," said Kaboom CDXLIV, founder of Hot Wheels.

"And I can't believe my gardens are the same," said Alfonse, leader of Go Ren. "Had I known, I would have planted sugar pines along the enemy lines years ago. Then the falling cones would drop on their heads and force them to turn back."

"I'm not sure that's a viable tactic," said Nitesco Gaming, the aging Prime Minister of Guns N' Roses.

"Hey, every little bit helps," said MacGregor Rose.

"_Falling pine cones? Really? In a wartime situation, cover, fuel, slope stabilization, and timber are much better and more realistic uses for trees."_

_"I know, Tanya, I just didn't want to look like a dick."_

"Nitesco! Long time, no see," said Austin as he spotted his old friend.

"Hey Austin, finally out of that wolf's cave," said Nitesco. "I just wish Gwydion and Quixotic were here."

"And inferno and so many others," said Austin. "Good thing half of ANGQ remains. And I've heard you have some new friends. Who are your general and admiral?"

"I'm MacGregor Rose, clone brother of the Goddess Ruby."

"I'm not sure how that would work," said Austin, "but I can see the resemblance."

"It's just an inside joke about my twin sister," said MacGregor.

"And I'm JMHS Rowing. 'Admiral' doesn't really suit me, I only command torpedo boats. I was promoted because our battleship sank."

"You'll grow into it," said Nitesco. He turned back to Austin. "They used those torpedo boats to sink a dreadnought. The same dreadnought that sunk our battleship in minutes."

"Very impressive," said Austin.

"It's amazing to look at all these famous and important people," said Armory, "and realize that half of them will probably be dead within a month."

"Are you a professional asshole or something?" asked Branwen.

"Pretty much," Armory replied, smirking.

"Nice," said Branwen, and shook his hand. Several people around them rolled their eyes or shook their heads in disgust.

"I for one would gladly lay down my life to protect the Rubyland," said Corporal Venom Ahab of Ray of Sunshine.

The representatives continued talking amongst themselves until it was time for the meeting to start. As the clock struck noon, Peter fired a blank round with his pistol to get everyone's attention.

"Thank you all for coming," he said. "I'm sure you all know why we're here. Now, I would like to announce the name of our new alliance, for anyone who will join."

He pulled down a poster and read from it. "R.U.B.E.S. Rapid. Unyielding. Bodacious. Endearing. Strong. There are many new factions seeking to wreak havoc or establish a totalitarian regime. This catastrophe has brought some of the worst people out of the woodwork. Let's show them that it has brought the best as well. We will unite the Rubyland, defeat the forces of chaos and imperialism, repair the APCM, and build a better, brighter Subreddit. Who will join us?"

Slip-Snap raised his hand. "We were to understand there'd be pie and punch?"

Peter gave Austin a look, who just shrugged and put his hands in the air.

"There isn't any," Peter said, "there must have been a misprint. Sorry about that."

"Unbelievable," said Slip-Snap, and walked out of the meeting with several others.

The last one to walk out stopped for a moment to address the group. He wore a Victorian outfit with a top hat, but his hair acted like there was no gravity and it was the color of cotton candy. He also had pointed ears.

"Hear this, denizens of r/RWBY. I am Metas Mundurum Petivero. R.U.B.E.S. has just proved itself unworthy of continued existence. Your time is short, and it's already running out. Tick tock." He held out a pocketwatch.

"Hey!" shouted Branwen. "That's Celtic's watch."

_"Was _Celtic's watch," said Metas as he left.

"Anyway," said Peter, "now that the uh, non-contributors are gone, let's get back on topic. Who would like to join our alliance?"

MacGregor jumped up. "I would! The Guns N' Roses highlands are always ready to defend the Rubyland."

"I will not let the enemies take the rivers," said Rowing. "Count me in as well."

"I still have a few battles left in me," said Nitesco. "Guns N' Roses is all in."

"I would like to join RUBES as well," said Taco Lord. "I will defend the Rubyland, for Ray of Sunshine and Snowflake Protection!"

"Same here," said Jannis. "You took the words right out of my mouth."

"Ah, what the hell, I'll join," said Armory. "This ought to be interesting."

"Armed and Ready will join as well," said Austin. "The Cargo Clan is ready to protect the Rubyland."

"Including Hot Wheels," said Kaboom.

"It is my desire to restore peace," said Alfonse. "Go Ren will join as well."

The most nondescript looking man in the room spoke up. Until that point, no one had even noticed he was there. "I will help you guys out, but I cannot guarantee I will stay."

"Who are you?" asked Branwen.

"I'm nobody. Nobody Owens."

"Seems suspicious," said Peter, "but we could use all the help we can get."

A Kangaroo Rat from the Collective of Various Rodents scurried on to the table. "You may call me Roo. I'm here to represent the Society for Arc-Nikos Support. Unfortunately, they are under siege. Admiral Blue Whale King, Commander Strike Freedom, and Captain Chaos Vulpix could not attend. But they said they would like to form a non-aggression pact with RUBES."

"It's better than nothing," said Peter. "We will honor a non-aggression pact."

The ground shook as a mech walked into the pavillion, surrounded by troops. The top opened.

"Did somebody say Commander Strike?" asked Tragic Solitude. "Where is he?"

"Oh, that's totally cheating," said MacGregor. "How did that thing survive the Anomaly field?"

Tragic smiled. "I built this thing with WWI technology only."

"It's true," said her right-hand officer, Ebullient Prism. "I helped her build it. The forces of Mechanical Might will be indomitable."

"Will your indomitable force be joining RUBES?" asked Peter.

"Yes," said Tragic. "I've been hunting down the one responsible for this mess. I was there when the ACPM exploded. Melanie Antiqua gave her life to save me. And I know the identity of the culprit!"

"Well, who is it?" asked Rowing. "Don't keep us in suspense!"

"It was LINK! He was hacking up the machine to start Ship Survivor early, and ended up exploding the core!"

The pavilion filled with gasps and murmurs. MacGregor, Armory, Venom, and Jannis, the attending former members of the Pink Rose Gold High Council, were especially distraught.

"No," said MacGregor. "Tell me this isn't true."

"It makes too much sense," said Venom.

"I fucking knew it," said Armory. "I knew he'd go off and do something stupid. I should have slapped his pea-sized brain right out of his head!"

"I should have kept him on a tighter leash," said Jannis.

"It's true," said Tragic. "And I will bring him to justice. Once I find my true love, Striker."

"I don't think she's all there," Armory murmured to MacGregor.

"Strike is married," said Roo. "Here's a picture." He pulled out a photo of Strike and Rosa Cossette D'Elise on their wedding day, captioned with their names.

"What?! Give me that!" Tragic snatched the photo.

"So he has a thot, huh? Even if she is an exceptionally attractive thot, oh yess… What am I saying? Destiny has told me that Strikey is MINE! Where is he?!"

"It's probably best that we _don't _tell you," said Roo. "Focus on hunting down Link."

"But don't hurt him!" said MacGregor. "He deserves a fair trial."

"He's on r/ArkosForever, defending Arkos of Erusea," said Branwen.

"Hey!" shouted Roo.

"What? I meant Link- ohhhhhh. Sorry."

"Ah, so they're _both _there," said Tragic. "I can kill two rats with one mechanical foot." The top of the mech closed again, and it walked out of the pavilion. Ebullient Prism and the other Mechanical Might soldiers followed.

"I don't understand how everyone's moving between planets so easily," said MacGregor.

Roo was about to answer, but Peter cut him off. "There's no time to explain. Our next order of business is choosing a base of operations."

"_Now's our chance,_" said Tanya's voice in MacGregor's head.

"I propose that we hold our base in Guns N' Roses," said MacGregor. "Our highlands are extremely well fortified, they will hold out longer than any other base."

Jannis spoke up next. "I propose that we base RUBES in Ray of Sunshine. It has proven itself in the past, and we have a larger base of troops than any other Meme Ship here. We're also in a more central position in Rubyland which will make coordination easier."

"Any other suggestions?" Peter asked. Nobody spoke.

"Ok then, time to put it to a vote. All in favor of Guns N' Roses?" About 40% of the room raised their hands.

"All in favor of Ray of Sunshine?" The other 6o% raised their hands.

"Ray of Sunshine will be our flagship," said Peter.

MacGregor, Rowing, and Nitesco bowed their heads.

_"Don't worry," _said Tanya's voice in MacGregor's head. "_This just means they'll be targeted first. We'll last longer, then they'll see that our position is stronger. We'll rule this league yet."_

"Now," said Peter, "we need to determine our next course of action."

Just then, a bullet whizzed past and hit Kaboom in the forehead, killing him instantly.

"What?!" shouted Admiral Eldi XIII, the last surviving member of the Mod Council. "Who _dares _attack this sacred space?!"

Everyone ducked for cover as more bullets rained down. A voice shouted from a nearby hill. "RUBES ends today! Alcoholism is the future!"

"That made for an easy decision," said Peter. "All RUBES, return fire!"

Once Alcoholism's surprise advantage wore off, they found that they were heavily outnumbered. Still, they had RUBES pinned down from their higher vantage point.

"We can't move or go after them if we don't want to lose anyone else," said Peter, "but we can't let them keep attacking us. Any ideas?"

"We just need to hold out," said Rowing. "They'll run out of ammo before we do."

"How do we know that?" asked one of MacGregor's lieutenants. "They came to fight, we just came to have a meeting."

"Good point, Visha," said MacGregor.

"My name is Cyanide Sins," said the lieutenant.

"Right, sorry Tim."

Cyanide just sighed.

"Help will arrive," said Austin. "Admiral Bluewhale said that Team SANS would join the fight as soon as they could."

"We have no idea how long that's going to take," said Armory. "I say just use some lesser personnel as meat shields and go wipe out the enemy."

"Does the term "moral high ground" mean nothing to you?" asked Alfonse.

"I'm more concerned with literal high ground. And they have it!"

After a minute, the hail of bullets slowed, then stopped. A minute later, Rowing peaked around the corner and looked up the hill. "Everyone, look," they said. "It's safe now."

The Auto Moderator bot was standing there, covered in blood and bullet holes, sword drawn. The corpses of the aggressors lay around it. Eldi gasped and gave a teary-eyed salute. The bot saluted back, and walked off to resume guarding the Tomb of Jillian.

"Impossible," said Peter. "Jillian must have built an anomaly-proof machine!" Eldi just nodded, unable to speak.

"That's all well and good," said Jannis, "but we need to get to a more fortified location before someone else attacks."

Peter nodded. "You're right. Our next order of business is to set up our headquarters in Ray of Sunshine. This meeting is adjourned."

**Oh, how sappy. Everything ends well. Boo! And why are we doing a tribute to a Redditor who we've never met and will never read this? The next chapter will be better, it's going to have ME in it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Roughly concurrent with Chapter 5**

The Unterseeboot _Position of Power _registered several bumps, despite being in the open ocean. The many wheels, knobs, and pipes coating the walls shivered with each disturbance.

"Sir," said a technician, "there's something hitting the hull."

"What is it?" Branwen asked. The were well above the bottom, and too low in latitude for icebergs. Could another submarine be ramming them? But the bumps weren't that strong. More as if something was trying to get their attention.

"I'll try the periscope. One moment please."

"Oh, I think I know who it is," said Celtic Crown.

"It's a Balaenoptera Musculus," said the technician. "Tapping on the hull with flippers."

"Balena what?" asked Branwen.

"A Blue Whale," said Celtic. "I knew it. Let him in."

"You can't be serious," said Branwen. "_We _can hardly fit in here, let alone a _Blue Whale!"_

"Not like that," said Celtic, "but you'll see."

Branwen sighed. "All right, fine. I'll open the airlock."

Soon the giant whale vanished from the periscope, and the humanoid Blue Whale King walked into the cramped control room.

"This is just too weird," Branwen muttered.

"Nice to meet you too," said Blue Whale King.

"Hello, Whale," said Celtic. "What brings you here?"

"The Society for Arc-Nikos Support needs your help. EnTAIre Team and EnTAIre World are attacking us. We may have already lost the city of ArcTanic. Arkos of Erusea, our most important stronghold, will be the next target."

"I'd love to help," said Celtic, "but I'm trying to lay low for the moment. Whenever I get involved early and make a lot of noise, it ends badly. I don't want to make a huge target of myself."

"Count me out for sure," said Branwen. "My goal is Avenging the Deaths of Adam and the Motorcyxle, or Team ADAM. Arkosian drama is too messy and dangerous. Plus Link told me he was going over there and I don't want to get caught with him."

"Then you should go to shore and represent Team ADAM at Nachbar's meeting," said Blue Whale King. "It will be at the Cemetery of the Deleted. As for you, Celtic, r/ArkosForever is only a side theater of the war. Once we mop up the rebellions, we can join the larger conflict here. If you're over helping us until then, no one on r/RWBY can target you."

_Wait, why are people targeting Link?_

"That is a good point," said Celtic, "but I'm not convinced. Got any other incentive?" _He's going to get me over there one way or another, so I might as well make the most of this._

"Yes. If you help Team SANS, the Hiatus Busters will forgive your debt from that incident you caused a week ago."

Celtic scratched the back of his neck and cringed. "I was drunk. Probably should stop doing that actually. But the Hiatus Busters are no more, Draztco, Kazehh, and Jelo were killed in the Catastrophe. Their leadership is gone."

"Strike and I were next in command," said Whale. "That means the Hiatus Busters now fall under what's left of Arkos, which is Team SANS."

"Well, you got me there. I'll come with you."

"After you drop me off on the shore, that is," said Branwen.

"I'll take you to shore," said Blue Whale King. "Then I'll lead the submarine to the portal to r/ArkosForever."

"What portal?" Branwen asked.

"The Kingdom of Blue Whales built a huge network of ocean portals between planets after the Whaling Era and the Last Great Time War," said Whale. "Essentially folds in spacetime that allow for fast travel."

"I think I remember you saying something about that," said Celtic. "Very interesting."

"We'd better hurry though," said Whale, and left through the airlock. Within moments he was back in his full-sized whale form. Branwen climbed out the conning tower and onto Whale's back. A few minutes later, Whale returned to guide the submarine.

The journey to the portal was much longer. The submarine followed Blue Whale King for about an hour, long enough for several other vessels to follow behind them unnoticed.

The portal itself was almost invisible, just a slightly discolored patch of sea. But once Whale and _Position of Power _entered it, they found themselves in the ocean of another world.

The port city of ArcTanic had routes connecting it all over the world, land and sea. It was the second largest coastal city after the now destroyed capitol of Jaunrrha, and had a river leading inland to Arkos of Erusea and a road through the mountains to Miraculous Arkos.

Unfortunately, this also made it more vulnerable to attack. As Whale and the _Position of Power _approached the city, they saw it was up in flames and surrounded by enemy forces. A large aircraft carrier labeled _EnTAIre World _was entering the mouth of the river, while fighters and a couple of small capital starships flew overhead. Soldiers and tanks filled the streets.

"Whale!" said Strike over the radio. "It's about time you showed up. Link returned to help but we already lost ArcTanic. The Air Force had to retreat, we lost a lot of planes and took heavy damage to the rest. They're heading to Arkos of Erusea next."

Whale transformed back into his humanoid form and climbed back onto the submarine. "Damn it! We should still have space superiority. What about the _Protect _and the _Eliminate_?"

"I can't get a clear shot," said Vulpix, captain of the _Eliminate _and Advisor to the Oligarchy. "We'd be destroying our own people and forces as well."

"My ship is out of commission," said Vaniellis, captain of the _Protect. _"They hit us with an EMP. It's all I can do to keep the radio and life support systems online, it'll be a while before the shield projectors and weapons are back."

"So we'll have to do this the old-fashioned way," said Whale. "All air, land, and sea forces must converge on _EnTAIre World._ They must not reach Arkos of Erusea!"

The villains had a response to this. Atop the tallest building in the ruins of ArcTanic, two figures stood cackling with glee. One wore an Egyptian Pharaoh style white robe and crown, and dark skin the color of fine ebony. The numbers 02837282 were branded on his forehead.

The other wore a black combat suit and had pale skin like a sheet of paper. His eyes glowed red, and his hair was a sickly shade of yellow. Both held megaphones.

"**Listen well, followers of the Fallen Goddess and Sunken Ship,**" said the second man. "**This planet is now the property of the Dust Alliance. **_**Pyrrha is Still With Us, Asses to Ashes, Bust to Dust, **_**and **_**Dusted Romance **_**will sweep you away like the dirt you are! Your ideas of a Utopia, your pretentious dreams of rewriting the Canon, and your sad devotion to a destiny never realized end now! Sink your knees and weep with despair!**"

"The TAI Legions stand with the Dust Alliance," said the sphinx-like man. "Your children will be slaves of our empire! The chains of EnTAIre World will circle your entire world!"

The members of Team SANS and their supporters eyes widened in shock.

"GENERIC!" Blue Whale King shouted at 189 decibels. "What's happened to you? Do you still have HIATUS in your system from Character Survivor?! Stand down at once, I thought we'd moved past this!"

"**I am not Generic, I am Generi**_**x**_**, from the timeline of endless bloodlust and insanity! Your Generic is dead, I am here to fulfill what he failed and destroy you!**"

"Yeah! What he said!" shouted the man with numbers on his forehead.

Whale and the others were silent for a moment. Finally, Whale said, "We've survived your attacks before, we can do it again. No matter which version of you."

"We're with you, Team SANS!" said Link, who was crouching in a ruined building and firing a sniper rifle at targets on the deck of _EnTAIre World._ Still, it continued to advance through the river.

"Strike," said Vulpix, "is air support ready yet?"

"We're just boarding the fresh batch of fighters and concluding what repairs we could to the old ones," Strike replied. "We'll be in the air in a few minutes."

"What about Rodents?" Whale asked.

"They're all over the battlefield," said Vulpix, "swarming over the enemy soldiers and infiltrating their vehicles. The leaders of the Collective are working to sabotage the _EnTAIre World._ They're maintaining radio silence for now, but they're still listening in."

Whale climbed back into the _Position of Power._ "Celtic, did you catch everything?"

"Yes," he replied. "I suppose we should warn the Rodents before we uh, t-torpedo the enemy ship?"

"Of course," Whale said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said Celtic, "just working to get over my fear of torpedo tubes." He then gave an order to the crew. "Fix our position, and submerge. We're going to attack the aircraft carrier."

The U-Boat lowered itself beneath the waves and started moving into the river.

"Let's hope we don't run out of space," said Celtic.

"No need to worry," said Whale. "The river is ocean navigable all the way up to Arkos of Erusea." A moment later, he added, "and if we do get stuck, I can get out and push."

Link called on the radio. "You should hurry, they're picking up speed. They'll be at Arkos of Erusea in less than an hour."

"We're losing them," said the crewman at the periscope. "We're at maximum submerged speed and they're still getting away."

"We'll have to surface and accelerate," said Celtic. "Hopefully the forces in Arkos of Erusea can cut them off so we can get a clear shot."

In the ruins of ArcTanic, Link fired the last rounds of his sniper rifle at the _EnTAIre World _just before it sailed out of range. He'd taken out several soldiers on the deck and done damage to their planes, but it was nowhere near enough to stop them. "I've done all I can do," he said over the radio. "Good luck."

Down in the engine room of the aircraft carrier, the leaders of the Rodent Collective were scurrying over a boiler, trying to undo the rivets.

"Ow ow oww," said the Squirrel. "This is too hot on my feet."

"Quiet," said the Porcupine. "We don't want to get caught."

"I'm with the Squirrel," said the Field Mouse. "We're going to get badly burned."

"We can heal our feet later," said the Porcupine. "But for now, be quiet!"

"Who're there?!" shouted one of the engine workers.

"AAH! Vermin!" cried another.

"Crap," squeaked the rat.

"Begone, pests!" shouted a soldier, and started shooting at the Rodents.

"Run," said the Porcupine. All of them jumped to the ceiling and scurried into the ventilation. They had escaped.

The boiler was not so lucky. Between bullet dents and the Rodent's sabotage, it cracked open. The water spilled onto the burning coals and flashed into steam, spraying coals and hot steam everywhere. One boiler was out of commission.

"You idiot!" shouted a worker, surrounded by screams of those who'd been burned. "Now we can't reach top speed!"

"Sorry," said the soldier, wincing at having to talk with blisters all over his face.

"They're slowing down," said the crewman at the periscope of _Position of Power_, "but we're still losing them."

Back at the hangar of Arkos of Erusea, Strike and his squadron were finally ready to take off.

"Blaster, you are clear to launch," said Air Traffic Control.

"Roger that," said Strike, maneuvering his blue-winged fighter jet onto the runway. He turned on the afterburners for the fastest possible launch, and rocketed into the sky. The rest of his squadron did the same.

Up in the air, he saw that _EnTAIre World _had almost reached the city, it would only be a couple more minutes before its cannons were in range of the walls.

"We cannot let them harm Arkos of Erusea," he said to his squadmates. "Sink that aircraft carrier at all hazard."

They went to open fire on the aircraft carrier, but two enemy squadrons of planes flew up from its decks. Strike maneuvered the best he could and managed to shoot down three enemy fighters, but they were still badly outnumbered.

"There's too many of them," said F-off Cinder, one of his wingmen. "I can't get close eno- AAAGGHH!" A missile hit F-off's plane, tearing it to shreds before he could eject.

"DAMNIT!" Strike shouted, swerving to avoid another missile.

Down in the river, the submarine _Position of Power _was falling further behind. "They'll be in range of the city before we can catch them," said Whale, looking through the periscope.

"At least Strike's up in the air," said Celtic.

"True," said Whale, "but he's too badly outnumbered. We need a miracle."

Soon the _EnTAIre World _was within a few hundred yards of the gleaming city of spires that was Arkos of Erusea. Its deck cannons began to fire, putting dents in the mighty walls.

"**Today, Arkos of Erusea falls!** shouted Generix, who had somehow ended up on the ship while no one was looking. "**Your gleaming crossover metropolis will be naught but a Citadel of Ash!**"

"NO!" Strike shouted, hitting the throttle. The aircraft carrier's machine guns fired at him and riddled his aircraft with bullet dents and punched several holes in the wings, but he didn't retreat until he had used all of his missiles, bombs, and bullets against the enemy. He left a large crater in the deck, but _EnTAIre World _stayed afloat.

"This is bad," said Whale, back in the Submarine.

"I wish I could do something," said Vulpix over the radio, "but it would destroy the city in the process. I'll continue scanning for their base."

The aircraft carrier and its remaining planes continued bombarding the city. They hadn't breached the walls yet, but it wouldn't be long. The gleaming white surface was marred with soot and deep craters, and the structure was showing major cracks.

"They've stopped," said Whale. "But By the time we catch up with them, it will be too late to save the city."

"Revenge is still better than nothing," said Celtic. "And even that's hard to get on the best of days."

Just then, a small flotilla of boats came up the river.

"_EnTAIre World, _you're blocking our way," said Metas M. Petivero. "Your time is up! Tick tock."

"For the history books!" Slip-Snap shouted.

The newcomers in the boats opened fire on the aircraft carrier with machine guns and rocket propelled grenades, doing more damage to the enemy ship and its contingent of fighter planes. Slip-Snap scored a good hit before one of the machine guns tore him into a bloody mess of limbs. But still, it continued besieging the city walls.

A new voice came over the radio.

"Blaster, this is Captain Futtlescish of the Ustio 6th. I brought reinforcements, plus your trainee on her first combat mission."

Another squadron of fighter jets flew out of the city, including a brand new custom plane.

"I'm glad to fly alongside you in combat, my love," said Rosa Cossette D'Elise.

"Rosa! Futtlescish! Thank Monty you're here," said Strike. "Let's finish them off."

The fresh squadron wiped out the rest of the enemy planes, leaving the aircraft carrier alone.

"Whale, we're finally in range," said Celtic. "Would you do the honors?"

Whale knew Celtic just didn't want to go near the torpedo tubes, but he wasn't complaining. He lifted a massive torpedo into one tube, while the submarine's other crew filled the other.

"Fire," Whale and Celtic said simultaneously. The torpedoes launched, streaking through the water and detonating against the side of _EnTAIre World_. The aircraft carrier finally stopped firing as it sank into the depths of the river.

"Nooo!" shouted Numbers as the deck went under from beneath his feet. "My _EnTAIre World _is gone!"

"**At least we still have **_**EnTAIre Team**_**,**" said Generix, as the two swam to shore. "**This is not over yet.**"

"Ah, right, EnTAIre Team," said Numbers, glancing at the small capital ships hovering over the ruins of ArcTanic, their crew currently looting the city for child slaves. "We'll have another chance to attack. They'll be weakened from this one."

"**Exactly**," said Generix. "**Let them think they've won, for now. Have their little circle-jerk. Then, we strike, pun intended, when they think they're safe**."

That night, Blue Whale King handed out medals to everyone who fought to protect Arkos of Erusea, no matter the reason. Vulpix gave one to Whale in turn. The leaders of the Collective of Various Rodents dried themselves off by a fire, having floated to shore on the inflated trench coat. After the feast, Celtic returned to the submarine and left for r/RWBY. Metas disappeared to who knows where.

And some late arrivals joined up with those on the other side of the river.

"**Who are you**?" Generix asked, looking at the mech which had walked up to their camp.

"I'm Tragic Solitude of Mechanical Might."

"And I'm Ebullient Prism of Mechanical Might."

"I'm here to obtain Strike at any cost," said Tragic. "Even if it means razing that city to the ground and slaughtering every man, woman, and child who gets in my way."

"Easy there, Yandere Chan," said Prism. "No need to be gratuitous."

"What did you just call me?!" Tragic exclaimed, swiveling to face her right-hand officer.

"He's right," said Numbers. "If we kill everyone, there won't be anyone to enslave."

"I'd prefer not to enslave anyone either," said Prism. "But I'm still up for attacking the city."

"Whatever it takes," said Tragic. "Strikey will he mine."

"**I think we're going to have a lot of fun together**," said Generix.

**Every motivation is corruptible. **_**Especially **_**love.**


	7. Chapter 7

**If you lose a battle, do not despair. Great victories often lead to complacence.**

A scout had just returned to the base at Arkos of Erusea. Supreme Commander Strike Freedom D'Elise of the Air Force stood up from his desk.

_Paperwork was tedious anyway._

"NinJonic, what do you have to report?"

"We've found their base, sir," said the scout. He handed over a datapad with a spot marked on a map of the planet. "Pyrrha is Still With Us is in a large underground complex at these coordinates. However, it seems the missing child slaves have already been moved elsewhere."

"Excellent," said Strike. "Thank you for the information. You are dismissed."

NinJonic saluted and left. Strike opened a communications channel to Blue Whale King and Chaos Vulpix.

"We've finally found the coordinates for Pyrrha is Still With Us," he said. "I've sent them to you and will mobilize the air force immediately."

"That's wonderful news," said Vulpix. "We can finally root out the heart of the insurrection and restore peace and order to this planet."

"I will mobilize the Starfleet," said Whale. "We must strike hard and fast before they get a chance to escape or mount any resistance."

"I take it we're bringing everything we have?" Vulpix asked.

"Yes," said Strike. "We don't know exactly how strong they are, it might take our entire force to defeat them. We can't take any risks."

"I agree," said Whale. "We're wasting time already. Let's move out now, and strategize on the fly."

Strike sounded the battle alarm and ran to the hangar. Within minutes, he, Rosa, Futtlescish, and the rest of his wingmates were in the air and leaving the city of Arkos of Erusea behind.

**And up in space, with their +2 Dreadnoughts of Overcompensation**

The _Protect _and the _Eliminate _were circling around to the other side of the planet, where the enemy base was located.

"There it is," said Blue Whale King, from the bridge of the _Protect _to the group communication. "In that volcanic region over there. No wonder it took so long to find them, there's hardly any vegetation for them to have disturbed and no prior settlements."

"That's good news for us," said the hologram of Vulpix. "We don't have to worry as much about collateral damage."

"Does that mean we can use the white phosphorus?" Futtlescish asked.

"That's still only a last resort," said Strike. "It's against our constitution to be needlessly cruel."

"Since we don't need to worry as much about collateral damage, there's no reason not to use our larger, space-based weaponry," said Whale. "I think the Air Force would be best suited to forming a perimeter for this one, so that the enemy forces can't escape."

"While the Starfleet blasts them to hell," said Vulpix.

"That makes sense," said Strike. "We'll fly in a 200 kilometer circle around their base, and blast anything that tries to get through."

"I'll move the _Protect _to counter any space-based threats," said Whale, "while the _Eliminate _destroys their base."

Unfortunately, Pyrrha is Still With Us was already aware of the Arkos Military's presence.

**And the leaders of the Dust Alliance weren't even there!**

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Numbers asked. "We're losing an awful lot of assets here."

He, Generix, Metas M. Petivero, Tragic Solitude, and Ellubient Prism were hiding in a large, underground mining complex in the mountains, in between Arkos of Erusea and Miraculous Arkos. Some of their forces were there, with the rest hiding in similar places throughout the region, and within the cities themselves.

"**It's not ideal,**" said Generix, "**but it's a necessary sacrifice. If we confront them now, we'll be wiped out. Lose the battle to win the war. Their victory now will soon lead to downfall.**"

"You sure are a callous leader," said Prism.

"As long as I get my Strikey, I don't care," said Tragic. "It's the only way to make me whole again."

**Or by removing those Bragg and D-Spair shrapnel lodged in her flesh, but I'm not going to tell her that.**

"If you don't mind my asking, why are you helping us, Metas?" Prism asked. "Didn't you help them in the last battle?"

"Yes," he replied, flipping his stolen pocketwatch through the air, "but now circumstances are different. I can't have them helping RUBES. I have my own reasons for that."

"Fair enough," said Numbers. "We'll take what help we can get." He pulled out a radio, with the channel connected to _EnTAIre Team._

**Back at the fleet**

"We've got incoming," said Vaniellis. "Two medium-sized capital ships."

"I see them," Blue Whale King replied. "They don't stand a chance against us, but if they're in the wrong spot they could buy time for our enemy."

"They're right where I need to be to line up the shot," said Vulpix.

"We'll handle this," said Whale. "The _Protect _will engage the enemy ships so you can get a clear shot."

The bulbous, pale blue dreadnought approached the two enemy ships, which were labeled _EnTAIre Team _and _Dusted Romance._ Both sides opened fire, lighting up the blackness of space with plasma beams and missiles.

"They're not moving out of the way," said Vaniellis.

"Maintain speed and heading," said Whale. "We will survive a collision. They won't."

Sure enough, just before impact, the two enemy ships lit their thrusters and moved, escaping collision by only a couple hundred meters.

"Hard to port," said Whale. "Block them off from where we just were, and maintain fire."

Vaniellis relayed the order to the crew. The _Protect _turned sideways, exposing its 17 kilometer length to the _Dusted Romance _and _EnTAIre Team, _forcing them to retreat further.

"Vulpix, now's your chance," said Whale.

"Already on it," Vulpix replied. The angular, dark purple _Eliminate _was moving into the spot where the enemy ships were a minute prior, and joined the _Protect _in firing its onboard weapons at the enemy ships.

"Strike, how are you doing down there?" Vulpix asked.

**Down in the atmosphere**

When the Arkos Air Force reached the volcanic plateau, an enemy fighter squadron was there to meet them. It was still only one squadron though, so they didn't present too much of a threat.

"Mission is proceeding well," Strike responded. "They were initially outnumbered four to one. Half of that remains, but we have yet to lose a plane."

As if he had tempted fate, an enemy missile struck one of Strike's wingmen. The pilot was able to eject, escaping the ball of flames and shrapnel, but it had still nullified Strike's last statement.

"Damn," Strike muttered, turning his plane around to fire his machine gun at the attacker. The bullets hit true, and the enemy plane went spiraling into the black volcanic fields below.

"There's still five more," he said to his wingmates. "Check your blind spots. If you see any, don't let them out of your sight."

Strike pulled his plane into an ascent, gaining over a kilometer in elevation within seconds. He then looked at his instruments, and at the skies below, until he spotted two enemy fighters approaching one of his formations from behind.

"Here we go," he said to himself, as he dove at them with the sun behind him. At just the right distance, he fired a hail of bullets and launched two missiles. The bullets were far from lethal to the enemy planes, but they slowed them down sufficiently for the missiles to hit their marks.

"Three left," he said over the radio.

"I see one," said Queen Rosa. She tried to line it up in her sights, following it as it twisted and turned through the air. She remembered what Strike said when he was training her. (Which he had to do, since on unpredictable occasions they would switch bodies) "_A missile doesn't have to actually make contact to destroy a plane. It just has to be close enough. Sometimes you'll forget that, and miss a good shot because it wasn't perfect. Don't be fooled by irregular flying, you can still shoot them down."_

"Close enough," she said, and pulled the trigger. Sure enough, the missile wasn't able to perfectly follow the enemy plane and exploded in the air without hitting, but the shockwave of the explosion still knocked it out of the air.

"I have another one," said Futtlescish, coming at the enemy fighter from below and shooting it down before it even knew he was there. Rosa was briefly jealous, but she remembered that he had much more experience. _I'll get there eventually._

"The last plane has breached our perimeter," called out a random pilot. "They're heading for Jaunrrha!"

"What's the point, the capitol's just ruins now," said Strike. Still, he, Futtlescish, and Rosa pursued the last enemy fighter plane, each firing a missile at it. With three simultaneous explosions, there were no large pieces left.

"The skies are clear," Strike radioed to the fleet. "And so is the ground, the bombers took out all enemy ground forces."

"That's great," said Blue Whale King. "We're almost finished up here as well."

_Dusted Romance _and _EnTAIre Team_, both glowing with burning and molten craters all over their hulls, finally stopped firing back. When they tried to activate their remaining engines to retreat, the _EnTAIre Team_'s reactor exploded, tearing it apart and destroying the engines of the other ship as well with the shrapnel. Before its orbit could decay and cause a devastating impact to the landscape below, the _Protect _and the _Eliminate _finished it off.

"We're all clear," said Blue Whale King. "Strike, make sure all friendly planes are at a safe distance. Vulpix, take the shot."

_What a waste, those two ships belonged to us before the Catastrophe disabled the whole fleet except for the Protect and the Eliminate. I can't believe our enemies got them back online before we did._

Those looking at the viewscreens in the vast underground labyrinth that was Pyrrha is Still With Us saw a shadow cover the sun as the _Eliminate _moved into position. They clenched their fists, their palms growing sweaty. They could only hope that they were deep enough to survive.

Vulpix uncovered a panel and turned a key, which opened another panel with a large, black button. "Commence primary ignition," he told the firing crew. Inquisitor Stormzx's face lit up in a wicked grin. "AVE IMPERATOR!" he shouted.

"Authentication required," said an automated voice. It sounded like a voice that a redheaded android girl might have. "The Oligarchs must approve any firings at r/ArkosForever."

"What's this?" Vulpix asked over the radio.

"It's a failsafe," said Strike. "We knew it would be very unlikely that there would be a legitimate reason to fire our most powerful weapon at our own planet."

"And yet here we are," said Whale. "I, Blue Whale King, Oligarch of Arkos, approve this firing."

Strike hesitated for a split second, but he knew it was the only way. Still, he hated to do this. "I, Kyle Strike Blaster Freedom X2 D'Elise, Oligarch of Arkos, approve this firing."

"Authentication confirmed," said the automatic voice on the _Eliminate._ "You may fire when ready."

Vulpix nodded at the firing crew. They pulled various levers and switches, until the large black button glowed red. "Consider yourselves _Eliminated,_" Vulpix said as he pushed the button.

Four streams of bright green energy pulsed out from the bow, angling inward to converge in a single beam. The insurrectionists in Pyrrha is Still With Us looked up in terror as the beam, carrying the energy of several hundred nuclear weapons, shot towards them at the speed of light.

The heretic base was over a mile deep, but it wasn't enough. As the beam struck the ground, it pierced the planet's crust, spewing magma into the atmosphere in a white hot display taller than the highest mountains. The whole planet shook from the force of the explosion. Molten rock rained down over fifty miles away from the blast site. Even after it had all fallen, a new volcano in that spot was there to stay.

As the various Arkosians watched the glow of the explosion slowly fade, a sudden, sickly yellow light caught their attention. It was coming from all of their screens.

"**Bravo**," said the voice of Generix, as he slow-clapped. "**You finally got to use your new toy against us filthy heretics. Congratulations. Tell me though, is using such a weapon really a heroic thing to do? You'll be lucky if you haven't fucked up your planet's climate for the next decade or more.**

**But that's just the tip of the iceberg. You claim to be the most wholesome ship nation, founded on peace and love, yet you are one of if not **_**the **_**most militaristic factions in this sector.**

**Even in my timeline, I remember what Arkos was like in the old days. Your military was nowhere near its modern size, but your economic prosperity and sociopolitical influence was nearly unrivalled. But when your time came, you refused to accept it, clinging to an era that had rightfully come to an end.**

**Now you put what resources you have into a bloated military budget in order to intimidate others and gain profit by collecting bounties on troublemakers like those who attack r/FNKI from r/CinderDidNothingWrong. The official Ship Wars contests aren't enough for you anymore. Your dozens of warships patrol not just your own space but nearly every route in this sector, attacking everything you perceive as heretical and demanding payment for it. Are you really earning Karma by protecting the innocent from the worshippers of Cinder and your other opponents and critics, or is it just a protection scam?**

**It matters little either way. Excessive militarization to bolster against waning socioeconomic and political power is the hallmark of a dying empire. Try as you might, it will not last forever. Today, it ends. No more will you be able to use brute force to silence your critics. The Nation of Arkos is going into the ash heap of history, where it will stay forever. Just watch.**"

Generix pushed a button on a device in his hand, setting off several explosives planted throughout Arkos of Erusea, demolishing some buildings and setting others on fire.

"NO!" shouted Strike, Vulpix, and Whale simultaneously.

"You have it all wrong," Strike said. "We only fight when necessary. The only reason our military is so large is because we have so many enemies. People like you who think that our major defeat in the past somehow makes us unworthy to live."

"What he said," Whale added. "Also, all forces return to Arkos of Erusea! All forces!"

"You'll pay for this, vermin!" Vulpix shouted.

"**Your military might will be useless here, unless you want to destroy your own city along with us.**"

Thousands of Dust Alliance members were streaming out of the mountains to attack the nearly undefended city of Arkos of Erusea as the flames grew and Team SANS rushed back to defend it.

"All families, leave your homes!" shouted Numbers, as he walked through the streets with a flamethrower, "Or I'll burn you all alive!"

Some resisted, but in their surprised state, they were no match for the Asses to Ashes, Bust to Dust and Mechanical Might troops and were gunned down. The rest were separated, with the adults imprisoned or executed and the children taken off as slaves.

"Come to me, my love," said Tragic, her mech positioned at the entrance to the city. "STRIKEY WILL BE MINE!"

The 23 remaining planes of the Arkos Air Force rocketed towards Arkos of Erusea at Mach 5, hoping against hope that they would be able to stop the attack before it was too late.

At that speed, it didn't take long for the city to be in view again. But as they slowed down, a curtain of smoke rose up to block their view, trails from hundreds of missiles.

"Shit," said Strike. "They've hijacked the ground-based missile launchers. Destroy those missiles!"

The air force planes returned fire with everything they had. The key turned into a deadly fireworks show as they shot down dozens of missiles, but the missiles also took out many of the planes.

"Strike, LOOK OUT!" Futtlescish cried, as he moved to intercept a missile that was on Strike's tail. Unfortunately, in his altruism he failed to notice the missiles that were after him, and two hit his plane at once. He didn't have time to eject.

"FUTTLESCISH, NO!"

"We can mourn him later," said Rosa. "Right now we need to focus on survival!"

When the missiles were finally gone, only Strike and Rosa remained. Only two planes left against a new squadron taking off from the mountains.

"Oh shit…" they both sighed in unison. Everyone who heard knew things were bad, as it was unlike Rosa to swear.

They both put up a valiant fight, but Rosa was forced to eject, landing safely in a grove of trees. Strike fought on until he ran out of ammo, at which point the other planes stopped attacking him.

_Why? What's going on now?_

"I HAVE YOU NOW, STRIKEY!" Tragic exclaimed as she pointed a tractor beam at Strike's plane. Low on fuel as well, it was unable to resist being pulled into the ground. Strike tried to eject, but it didn't work for some reason. _What a way to go…_

As his fighter accelerated toward the city gates, he was that Arkos of Erusea was ablaze. A tear ran down his cheek as he gave one final order. "All forces, retreat to Miraculous Arkos. Defend that city to the last."

His plane hit the ground, knocking him unconscious. Tragic's mech ran to the site, with Ellubient Prism following after. The tech's arms tore open the cockpit, and lifted Strike out of his seat. Tragic opened the top of the mech, and reached out to stroke his face. "Mine at last," she said.

"Well done, Miss Solitude," said Ebullient Prism.

"That will soon be Mrs. Freedom," Tragic replied.

**Back in space, more belated respone**

"We have no choice," said Blue Whale King. "We must bring these ships back into the atmosphere if we are to defend Miraculous Arkos."

"It's terribly risky," said Vulpix. "The wind alone from such massive objects moving through the air is bound to cause damage."

"I know," said Whale. "But nothing compared to what those _bastards _will do if we don't stop them."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Move your ship to defend Miraculous Arkos. That is an order."

Vulpix sighed. "Yes, Admiral." He turned to the crew. "You heard him. Let's move."

The _Eliminate _moved into the atmosphere, with the _Protect _following behind.

"Generix, surrender now," said Blue Whale King, broadcasting on all frequencies. "We have lost much today, but we will still prevail. We have seen the end of Pyrrha is Still With Us, we will soon see the end of the Dust Alliance."

"**Perhaps**," Generix replied, "**But our work here is nearly done. We will also see the end of Team SANS.** **Goodbye and good riddance.**"

With that, he pressed another button, and there was another blinding flash of light. When it faded, a fiery mushroom cloud was rising over the former spot of Miraculous Arkos.

"YOU MONSTER!" Whale and Vulpix shouted. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

The _Protect _and _Eliminate _picked up speed, and opened fire on all Dust Alliance troops and vehicles they could see. The _Eliminate _moved over the mushroom cloud and started to land.

"I'll stop this, the only way I can," said Vulpix. "To make sure there are still people left to rebuild."

"Vulpix, no," said Whale. "A ship that big can't handle it!"

"Too late," said Vulpix. The _Eliminate _sagged and cracked as it landed on the ground, extinguishing the mushroom cloud. The 17 kilometer ship soon caught fire from the residual heat. Vulpix's survival was uncertain.

"Damn it," said Whale, bowing his head in despair.

**Back on the ground**

"It's time to get out of here," said Tragic, holding the unconscious Strike in her arms and looking up at the _Protect _looming in the sky.

"Agreed," said Prism.

A stealth transport flew low overhead, stopping at the Mechanical Might troops.

"**Climb aboard**" said Generix, opening a hatch. Metas and Numbers were also there, along with hundreds of chained slaves. Tragic's mech and the Mechanical Might troops boarded the transport.

Soon, they were flying into the portal back to r/RWBY.

**Horrible, isn't it? But don't worry, the fun is just getting started!**


	8. Chapter 8

The various commanders of RUBES stood around a large table with a map of the planet. The borders of the former ship nations were drawn in dotted lines, with the current meme ships colored solid with easily erasable chalk. RUBES members had a second outline in red, while hostile ships had black. There were also the usual game pieces representing armies. It was complex and confusing.

"The ruins of the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine are in No Man's Land," said Peter s. Nachbar, founder and leader of RUBES. "But this wasteland is surrounded by hostile ships such as Very Useful Lesbian. It will take some time to break through their ranks."

Jannis cracked his knuckles. "Ray of Sunshine will do whatever it takes to defeat those incest-worshipping heretics. We will have a new batch of tanks ready soon, then we will crush them. Literally!"

"Do we _have _to?" Rowing asked. "They don't focus on that part, it's just meant to be all-inclusive. They worship the same goddesses you do. In this time of chaos and bloodshed we should try to make friends and not enemies."

"Listen here, you," Jannis replied, flipping his long, white hair out of his face and pointing his finger, "Give incestous ships a centimeter and they'll take a light year. You wouldn't believe the damage they've caused in the past. If they haven't taken over VUL yet, they will by the time we reach them."

"That's awfully cynical, don't you think?"

"I've been around longer than you," said Jannis. "It comes with experience."

Link nodded, his face concealed by a gas mask. He sided with Jannis, but he dare not speak up lest he be recognized.

Alfonse spoke up. "Can't we just all get along?"

"We'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it," said Peter. "For now, let's just focus on who stands in our way first."

The door burst open, and MacGregor walked in, panting. He was covered in dirt and soot, and his clothes were singed. A near identical female counterpart walked in after.

"MacGregor Rose and Rose MacGregor," said Nitesco. "Glad you made it. How is it out there?"

"The line's stalled for over a hundred miles," said MacGregor. "Ray of Sunshine and Guns N' Roses are stuck in a stalemate with Remnant Orgy. The charge failed, it turned into such a bloodbath that the survivors dug themselves into another trench network."

Austin put his face in his hands. "Ugh, that's no good."

Armory walked in next. He was accompanied by a very nondescript man, but he himself was covered head to toe in soot and ash. He slammed the door behind him. "You will not BELIEVE what I've been through today!"

**Actually, why don't we just show you?**

_Flashback:_

The landscape was gray and brown, devoid of the life and greenery that was there only a month ago. Shells and bullets whizzed overhead. Sometimes it would stay quiet for hours, other times it seemed the whole world was filled with explosions and incomprehensible shouts.

Armory, MacGregor, Rosey, and Nobody Owens were walking through a trench along the Ray of Sunshine lines.

"Remind me who you are?" Rosey asked Nobody. "And why we should care?" Armory added. MacGregor elbowed him.

"I'm a neutral party who deals in information," said Nobody. "I believe the best outcome can only happen if all parties have accurate knowledge. Many of the worst disasters happen as a result of misinformation."

"Sounds reasonable enough," said MacGregor. "You can't go wrong with wanting to be objective."

Armory shuddered. "Oh yes you _can!_ I met this _total nutcase _the other day. Bombs random targets every day in the name of being 'objective.'"

"Oh, you mean Exspiro," said Nobody. "He's a strange fellow, but he's coming from the right place. We should go visit him."

Armory moaned. "Oh, gods, no."

"What's the harm?" MacGregor asked. "He might know something, or maybe we can get him to join RUBES. Lead the way, Owens."

Armory tried to turn the other direction, but McGregor and Rosey grabbed his arms. "It's too dangerous to go alone," said Rosey.

**Much dragging later**

"What brings you to my fine establishment?" Exspiro asked.

"We're on our way to a RUBES meeting," said Nobody. "I wish everyone to have as much accurate information as possible, so we decided to stop by."

"Well, _most _of us did," said MacGregor, as Armory continued to struggle against his and Rosey's grip.

"So what information do you have?" Exspiro asked. "I usually get all I need to know from my dice."

Armory groaned. "I told you this was a waste of time."

"Don't mind him," said Nobody. "I have up to date maps on all the battlefields, as well as reports on the other front at r/ArkosForever. I'm also wondering if you've learned anything." He handed Exspiro a map.

"The map will be useful," said Exspiro, "but I don't really care about the other front, it's beyond my reach. All I care for is being objective. Unfortunately, I don't get much information down here."

"Would you like to join RUBES?" MacGregor asked. "We're an organization dedicated to uniting the Rubyland and rebuilding-"

"No," said Exspiro. "As I've already told your friends, that wouldn't be very objective. I must not take sides."

"We don't have any reason to stay, then," said Armory. "We should leave."

"For once, he's right," said Rosey.

"Very well," said Nobody. "We'd best be on our way. It was nice to see you."

"Wait," said Exspiro. "It's about time for me to fire the cannon. Down here is the safest place. I must kick myself for not being completely objective, but it would be wrong for me to accidentally blow up my guests right after they leave."

"Thank you," said Rosey. Nobody, MacGregor, and even Armory followed suit, though for the last one it seemed the effort might kill him.

"This should actually be interesting to watch," said MacGregor.

"First, I have to pick out my target," said Exspiro, and pulled out a pair of dice. Armory facepalmed.

Exspiro rolled them across his map table, but his grin turned to horror when he saw what numbers he'd rolled.

"Oh _no._ This has never happened before, what am I to do? Do I dare defy my Goddess? But no matter what I do, it will go against her! What cruel circumstance of dilemma…" He sank to his knees, his hands pulling on his unkempt hair.

"We're well past the point of saying this," said Armory, "but I'll say it anyway. You're not making sense."

"Through the dice, fate has told me to eliminate Objectivity," said Exspiro, beginning to sob. "I don't want to, but I dare not disobey."

That took a moment to register, but when it did, all of the visitors eyes opened.

"WHAT?!" they shouted simultaneously.

"And to think I had actually forced myself to apologise," said Armory. "You can blow yourself up if you want, but I'm getting out of here!"

He ran out of the room and down the stairwell into the library. The others didn't try to stop him this time.

"You don't have to do this," said MacGregor. "Just reroll the dice and pretend this never happened."

"I cannot," said Exspiro. "What's the point in rolling dice if we keep redoing it until we get the outcome we want? Defeats the purpose." He went to get a shell to load the cannon.

"We'd better get out of here," said Nobody. They left the room above the library and headed for the exit.

**Please don't make us describe the library again, we're already late on our deadline. If you forgot then just go reread Chapter 4. It's bad enough that I have to-**

**Never mind, spoilers.**

Armory was far ahead of them, but out of breath. The others were able to catch up soon. They could faintly hear the cannon moving into a vertical position.

"Just a little farther," said Nobody. Just then, they heard an earsplitting explosion.

"The cannon, it's already fired!" cried Rosey.

Armory found new wind and bolted once more towards the exit, with the others close behind.

Several seconds later, there was another deafening explosion from above the library. Several large chunks fell from the ceiling and the vast room shook, but otherwise the library was intact.

"That was anticlimactic," said Armory.

Smoke began pouring from the room upstairs.

"No, not the ammo!" they heard Esxpiro's voice shout. "No- AAGGHHHH! My objectivityyyyy!"

There was a bright flash of light and a terrible shockwave that blew Armory, MacGregor, Rosey, and Nobody off their feet. When they found their bearings aain, the whole room was filled with flames.

Despite their heads pounding, they forced themselves up and started running for the exit again.

"What a waste, all this fanfiction lost," said Nobody.

"It's mostly just Coeur Al'Aran stuff, no great loss," said Armory. "We need to focus on not losing _ourselves._"

Just then, he tripped on a fallen piece of ceiling and crashed into a bookshelf that was in the final stages of burning. It toppled onto him, covering him in ash and burning coals. He yelped and jumped into the air.

"Watch your step," said Rosey.

"Yeah, thanks for the tip," Armory spat back, trying in vain to brush off all the ash.

"I can't stand this heat much longer," said MacGregor.

"Then let's get out of here!"

A few minutes later, they emerged from the underground broiler and back into the muddy wastelands. The smoldering remains of the cannon lay behind them.

"If the charge had any success," said MacGregor, "We shouldn't have much trouble getting back to Ray of Sunshine headquarters."

Unfortunately, as mentioned before, the charge was not successful. What followed was a long and grueling march through the Ray of Sunshine trenches. MacGregor's status as a general for Guns N' Roses gave them access to all areas, and Venom Ahab gave them an escort, but it didn't make the trenches themselves any more pleasant. Somehow Nobody was able to avoid getting muddy. They also encountered many rats and mice, though some appeared hurt at the disgusted glances they gave them, if such a thing were possible.

**Back to the present**

"And that's what happened," said Nobody.

"The loss of the library is terrible," said Peter. "We can only hope that other copies of all the books exist elsewhere."

"Most of the best stories should," said Austin. "No one will miss the Coeur stuff though."

"Hey, some people might like it," said Alfonse. "We shouldn't bash other people's preferences, even if we can't fathom them."

"Anyway," said Jannis, "at least that loose cannon's gone, pun intended. We won't have to worry about anyone's forces being shelled at random anymore."

Nachbar spoke up again. "So, back to the logistics of the battlefield…"

**Yeah, yeah, boring logistics. Who wants to read that? And more importantly, who wants to WRITE it? Let's get to the interesting stuff!**

Generix, Numbers, and Metas M. Petivero stood at the top of a hill, looking down on the battlefield, with several hundred barrels and a contingent of soldiers next to them. The various Bumblebee meme ships were the closest, near several cargo ships as well. But there wasn't anybody far enough away to be safe.

"**The so-called heroes are about to smell the stench of defeat,**" said Generix.

"Today, all who would oppose my Slave Empire on this planet will perish," said Numbers.

"I wish it didn't have to be this way," said Metas. "But I cannot miss this chance to help take down Ray of Sunshine. It's too cautious and limiting. A continuation of the old power structure, lacking in ambition and imagination. The sub deserves better. Nonetheless I do not enjoy such brutal methods."

"**Yeah**, **Yeah**," said Generix. "**I just want to cause chaos and destruction**. **I don't care about what you said at all**, **but I'd be stupid to refuse your help**."

"Wind direction is optimal," said Numbers. "It's now or never."

"**You heard him**," Generix told the soldiers. "**Release the gas!**"

The masked soldiers uncapped the barrels, and a sickly yellow-green cloud of chlorine gas rose into the air, blowing on the wind to all the meme ship armies and navies below.

"**AH HA HA HA HA HA!**" Generix laughed as he stood up on a rock, his black trench coat flapping in the wind. "**Perish in the breeze, weaklings! Evil will always triumph!**"

The horrible cloud washed over the landscape, suffocating soldiers and civilians by the thousands. The Bumblebee ships and many others had no chance to react in time, and perished within minutes. They cried out in pain and despair as the toxic chlorine gas burned their lungs, mouths, and eyes. They hacked out their last breaths and died in contorted positions, their bloodshot eyes fixed wide.

Metas M. Petivero felt sick to his stomach. _There must be another way. This is too much, even for me._ He snuck away from the others, unnoticed.

**Down in the trenches**

Corporal Venom Abab of Ray of Sunshine saw the gas approaching, and immediately went into action.

"Gas! Gas! Poison gas is coming! Everyone get your masks on!"

The troops rifled through their packs to get their gas masks. While they knew that a gas attack was theoretically possible given the Anomaly field, they few people thought anyone would be cruel enough to actually do it. Luckily Venom Ahab had enough foresight to know better.

The soldier just barely managed to get their masks on when the sickly yellow-green fog rolled over. They wanted to thank Venom for the warning, but he had already ran off.

**Back in the meeting room**

"No, we do _not _need to bring Lewdnep Vasilias here to boost morale," said Peter. "She'd turn this Alliance into an orgy, and we'd be defenceless."

"At least we'd be going out with a bang," said a soldier, "instead of suffering through this nightmare."

"Life's a nightmare for me anyway," said Armory. "And I really don't see the appeal of what yo-"

Venom Ahab burst through the door, wearing a gas mask and shouting "GAS! GAS ATTACK! GET YOUR MASKS ON NOW!"

"What?" Austin asked.

"You heard me! It will be here any second! MASKS ON IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!" Venom ran out of the room through another door before anyone had a chance to respond.

Everyone obeyed. They had no confirmation about the urgency of the warning, but they didn't dare chance it. They managed to put their masks on just as the noxious fumes started seeping in.

That day, Generix and Numbers repeated their attack in several other locations. Over a third of the meme ships fell, and all the others suffered at least some damage.

When the RUBES commanders emerged from their headquarters, they found that their faction maps and strategies were already outdated. The whole arrangement of the battlefield had changed. Remnant Orgy was gone, but so were some of their allies. Admiral Eldi, the last survivor of the Mod Council, had died in the fall of the Bumblebee ships.

_"At least Remnant Orgy is defeated,_" Link thought. "_Another victory against incest!"_

**At the Unauthorized Snuggles camp**

Numbers and Generix had parted ways, for now. Generix had done a lot of the heavy lifting in their alliance while Numbers and his slave business profited. Now, it was time for him to bring more forces to the table.

"Attention everybody," Numbers called out, standing on a large rock that overlooked the camp. "I'm building a new force, to promote the goddess Blake Belladonna. I can help you conquer the Subreddit, if you'll join me and the other Blake sbips."

"Who are you?" one of the soldiers asked.

"I don't really have a name," Numbers replied. "But you can call me... the Black Sphinx."

"You're asking a lot for someone we haven't met," said another soldier. "How do we know you're the real deal? How do we know we can trust you?"

"Because I spared your camp while I help cleanse the Subreddit to make way for us today. With _this._"

He threw an empty chlorine gas barrel into the middle of the camp. Everyone gasped, and some tried to flee before they realized the barrel was empty.

"You have our backing, Sphinx. What will this new alliance be called?"

"The Black Order," said Sphinx.

**This war is just getting started.**


	9. Chapter 9

A lone biplane flew through the atmosphere of r/RWBY. Its occupant looked down at the mess of trenches and craters. Even hundreds of feet in the air, he could smell smoke and the stench of death. The barren landscape looked post-apocalyptic, or at least it would if it wasn't still filled with fighting armies. Though it had only been a few weeks, one would think the devastation below had been a warzone forever.

"It's worse than I thought," Blue Whale King muttered, his voice inaudible under the noise of the propeller. "But there must be someone here to ally with." There _needed _to be. Penguino, Wingnut, Futtlescish, and Reno were dead, Strike, Vulpix, and Stormzx missing, Vaniellis, Burnside, NinJonic, and others stuck cleaning up the mess at home.

"This is Admiral Blue Whale King of the former nation of Arkos, and leader of the former Team SANS," he said into the radio over the noise of the propellor. "At last we have defeated the Dust Alliance, but with heavy losses. Will anyone join me in the Junifinity Berries squadron? Is there anyone else left from Arkos or Renora?"

He waited, but there was no response. The radio chatter was staticky and indistinct, but he could tell none of the conversations had to do with him. It was all something about RUBES fighting over Very Useful Lesbian.

"Anyone?" Blue Whale King repeated. "I repeat, this is-"

Just then, a pair of triplanes flew in from behind and opened fire, damaging the biplane's wings.

"Damnit, flying is Strike's job," Blue said as he took evasive action. Pulling into a stall, he let the enemy planes pass him, then returned fire. He destroyed one, but the other escaped. It turned back and fired again, scoring several more hits on Whale's plane.

After a brief but intense dogfight, Blue Whale King emerged victorious, but with damage. He struggled with the controls to keep his plane level.

"Is anyone willing to assist Junifinity Berries? Are there any Arkosians or Renorans out there, or any allied with them? Someone please answer me. Here is my position." He gave the coordinates.

Still no answer, but the Black Order had heard, and he was near their territory. Anti-Aircraft guns opened fire. Several bullets struck Whale directly, drawing blood. Thanks to his enormous size and strength compressed into a humanoid form, ordinary bullets only caused minor bruises, and no handheld weapon short of a rocket launcher could kill him in any form, but Anti-Air was much more powerful and could cause damage.

"Any allies of Arkos or Renora, now is the time!" he cried as he wiped the blood off his face, further staining his white uniform. The cavalry always arrived at the last moment, surely this time would be no different.

But still there was no answer. Despite trying to evade the bullets, the Anti-Air guns tore the wings apart and hit the engines and fuel tank. The biplane went into a nosedive and burst into flames. Blue Whale King cried out in despair as his burning plane fell like a meteor from the sky. No one had come to help. It was all for nothing. The plane crashed into no-man's land, going up in a fireball that nothing human could survive.

**So much for SANS coming to help RUBES. The latter claims to be the heroes and they don't even rescue those coming to help their cause? Despicable.**

**Elsewhere on r/RWBY, in a place previously of little strategic importance**

The trench coat full of Rodents was too busy following a map and compass to pay enough attention to their surroundings, and ran headlong into a tree. Before the war, this wouldn't have happened, but trees were scarce around most of the battlefields now.

As the Rodents reassembled their muppet man suit, they saw that they had entered a forest. Some of the trees had bullet holes, but it hadn't been mowed down, blown up, or burned like the forests around the battlefields. They were far from the front lines now.

"This guy must be scared of the fighting," said the Chipmunk. "He sure chose a spot out of the way."

"We haven't gone THAT far," said the Naked Mole Rat. "Under a hundred miles from the battlefield. There are far more remote places on this planet."

"Doesn't seem that far to you, because you aren't the one who has to do the walking."

"Enough bickering," said the Porcupine. "We're almost there."

Soon the Rodents came to a camouflaged tent, hidden under a rocky outcrop on the forest floor. They tapped on the entrance. "Hello? Are you the one looking to hire the Rodent Collective?"

The tent flaps opened, revealing Metas M. Petivero. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his cotton candy hair was dirty and held sticks and leaves. "Yes," he said. "Come in, quickly."

The tent was surprisingly roomy. It had not just a bedroll, but a desk and table with various maps, weapons, and supplies. "Sorry it's so far out of the way," he said. "I didn't want my previous allies hunting me down. I get the feeling they're the type to be vengeful."

"Who were your previous allies?" the Porcupine asked.

"The leaders of the former Dust Alliance, now of the Black Order. I joined them because I wanted to take down Ray of Sunshine, but I don't approve of everything else they're doing. I want Ray of Sunshine gone because it's limiting and small-minded. It's just a continuation of the old, dusty power structure, too afraid of trying anything new to innovate. Stagnation leads to decay, decay leads to ruin.

But the Black Order is even worse. Sphinx just wants to build a slave empire, and Generix wants to destroy everything for the sake of destruction itself."

"So I take it you want to hire us to eliminate Ray of Sunshine, but without needless cruelty?" asked the Porcupine.

"Yes."

"And what are you prepared to offer in return?"

Metas opened a briefcase full of Karma notes. "Ten thousand Karma. If we succeed, I will give my help in overthrowing whatever ship the Rodent Collective chooses to oppose next."

After a conversation amongst the other rodents in the trench coat, the most important members of the Collective, the Porcupine answered. "The vote is unanimous. We'll do it."

**Out at sea**

JMHS Rowing drove their torpedo boat into the oncoming waves, the bow rising and falling about ten feet with each crest. One true seafarers, like Rowing and their crew, could endure without getting motion sickness. Overhead, the skies were dark and gloomy with ominous clouds.

Unfortunately, that was the least of their worries. They were currently in the middle of a naval battle, attempting to defend the troop carrier Very Useful Lesbian against the battlecruiser Poptart Passion.

The enemy ship was painted in garish pink and cyan stripes. It stood out like a freshly-dropped piece of candy, but the stripes hid its speed and heading. But that didn't matter much right now. Its larger size meant it was steadier in the rough seas than Very Useful Lesbian, and was thus landing more shots as the two ships exchanged fire.

"Come on, just a little closer," said Rowing, trying to get into torpedo range. But the heavy waves and wind made progress slow.

Rowing took the radio again. "For the last time, RUBES, I need your help. We're in bad shape." He looked over at Very Useful Lesbian. It wasn't taking on water yet, but parts of the deck were on fire. The soldiers were scrambling around like ants as they tried to extinguish it, while more shells fell around them. Much of their own shipboard weaponry was no longer operational.

"And for the last time, I'm not coming," said Jannis. "A ship that contains incest deserves to sink."

Rowing yelled back. "Then why did you ally with Enabler during Ship Survivor II?! If Faker was still alive he'd be by your side right now!"

"That was another time, another world, another me. And _this _me, in _this _time and world, says incest must die."

Rowing growled in frustration. _Incest is not the point here! Why won't he understand?!_ "Then is anyone ELSE willing to help? MacGregor? Rosey? Austin? Nitesco? Taco?"

MacGregor responded next. "You already have all of Guns N' Roses' torpedo boats with you, we don't have anything else to send."

"Not even planes?"

"Sorry," said Nitesco. "There's a hurricane in between you and us. There's no way anything we send could get through in time."

"Same here," said Austin.

"A hurricane?" Rowing asked. "I knew there was a storm, but is it really that bad?"

"Yes," said Peter s. Nachbar. "It should pass by morning, but it would take hours to send anything around it. I'm afraid you're on your own."

"I really wish we could help you," said Alfonse, "but we can't rewrite the weather."

"Damnit, this is going to be the fight of my life. Thanks anyway."

The Poptart Passion was almost in range when it started to rain, and the wind picked up even more.

"Admiral Rowing," said an engineer. "If this keeps up we won't be able to flood the torpedo tubes. The crests of the waves are too high."

"Can't we just fire when the bow is low?"

"Perhaps, but it'll be a very narrow window, and there's a possibility the torpedoes will be angled too far downward and pass under the enemy ship's hull."

Rowing thought for a moment. It seemed the edge of the hurricane was passing over them. There was no telling how much of the storm was going to follow. It could just be the edge, or it could be much deeper. But since it blocked their route back to land, there was no backing out. They were in this fight to the bitter end.

"We only have one choice," Rowing said. "We have to engage at point-blank range. If we press our bow against the enemy hull, we can brace against the waves long enough to get a guaranteed shot."

"That's suicide!"

"Not as suicide as trying to retreat through the hurricane. And if we just stay here, they'll fix our position and blow us out of the water. We have no choice."

"Very well," said the engineer.

Rowing took the radio again. "All torpedo boats, this is Admiral JMHS Rowing of Guns N' Roses, who is equally loyal to Very Useful Lesbian. There is a hurricane blocking our retreat, and the waves will not allow us to fire our torpedoes at a distance. We must engage Poptart Passion at point-blank range. It is our only option."

The other torpedo boats formed up with Rowings, and charged Poptart Passion as fast as they could. Which, unfortunately, wasn't very fast.

Also unfortunately, Poptart Passion noticed what they were doing, and started firing on them. One of the torpedo boats exploded from a direct hit. "Come on," said Rowing. "Not much farther."

Meanwhile, someone on the Very Useful Lesbian saw what was happening. "Hey, look what they're doing!"

"That… may actually be a good idea," said the captain.

"What?! Have you lost your mind? Their cannons will tear us to shreds!"

"But this is a troop transport. We have all the troops that got driven out of the trenches after the gas attack. If we board them, they'll be overwhelmed."

"I guess you have a point."

And thus the Very Useful Lesbian joined the torpedo boats in the charge against Poptart Passion. The muzzle flares of artillery and machine gun fire grew brighter as the evening turned into night, and illuminated the driving rain.

"We're finally here," said Rowing, as the two remaining torpedo boats pressed up against the Poptart Passion, stabilizing against the waves. The Very Useful Lesbian had tied itself up against the enemy battlecruiser, and the decks were filled with hundreds of fighting soldiers. The allied ship was taking on water, but it was going to pull the neon monstrosity down with it.

"Fire!" Rowing ordered. The torpedoes launched, exploding only a moment later. The blast tore off the front plating of the torpedo boat and knocked it back several feet.

"All below deck, shore up any hull breaches."

The Very Useful Lesbian and the Poptart Passion were both going under fast. There were no more deck cannons left, only small arms fire remained.

Soon, the remaining soldiers and sailors stopped fighting among faction lines and started a free-for-all brawl for the few remaining lifeboats.

"What a waste," Rowing said as the Very Useful Lesbian sank below the water. The Poptart Passion followed a few minutes after, the ropes connecting it to its sunken foe overwhelming its last pockets of buoyancy.

They spent the rest of the night trying to save as many people from the water as possible. There wasn't nearly enough space in the boats, torpedo or otherwise, so most had to tread water or cling to broken wood and other floating debris.

Many hours later, the sun rose, and the sea was calm. JMHS Rowing's torpedo boat was the only one that remained. Poptart Passion had destroyed most of them, while one other had not survived firing its torpedoes directly into the enemy ship.

But only a few miles away, the survivors could see a submarine, the Position of Power. Celtic and Branwen had been there the whole time, resting for the night. And they had done nothing. An unlucky coincidence on their part, since they didn't know what was happening, but RUBES would not see it that way.

**On an island, away from the battlefield**

Strike awoke in an unfamiliar feather bed. He looked around, he was in some sort of beach house. A beautiful woman sat next to him, but he didn't recognize her.

"Glad you're awake, Strikey," she said. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, except, I don't remember how I got here. Or even who you are. Sorry."

"That's okay, I'll tell you everything you need to know. My name is Tragic Solitude. We are going to have _so _much fun together!"


	10. Chapter 10

Weaponized White Rose had decent fortifications. Decent, but not perfect. They were good against personnel, but when a dozen tanks rolled up and opened fire, they were no match. In a matter of minutes, their trenches were overrun and their surviving troops dispersed. The tanks continued until they climbed a ridge on the other side of the destroyed lines.

The lead tank opened a hatch, and a man stood up. "There it is," said Sword Michigan, general of Yang Bang, as he looked through his binoculars. "The heart of Rubyland." He gazed upon the fortress of Ray of Sunshine. But soon, it would belong to Yang Bang, along with the rest of the Subreddit.

"All right, crusaders!" he shouted to the other tank commanders. "Today we roll in and take what is ours. The Infinite Army of Yangs will crush all resistance. All will join us or be rolled over by the awesome power of Yang Bang! The Subreddit will become the Yang Bang Appreciation Network and Group! Long live YBANG!"

"Huzzah!" shouted the other tank commanders. They all sat back down and closed the hatches, and soon the formation of tanks was rolling down the hillside towards RUBES headquarters.

**Down in RUBES headquarters**

"Celtic and Branwen were there the whole time, and they did nothing to help?" Peter asked.

JMHS Rowing nodded. "There must have been thousands of avoidable casualties."

"Jannis is just as guilty," said MacGregor. "He consistently refused to send any help."

"There's a difference between not wanting to fight for an incestous ship," said Jannis, "and refusing to help survivors struggling in the water after the battle is over. I would have helped with the latter, had it not been for that hurricane."

"We'll have to deal with Branwen and Celtic later," said Peter. "Do you know what happened to Blue Whale King? I realized that no one responded to his messages. There has been nothing new from him."

"Eyewitnesses in the trenches say he was shot down," said MacGregor. "I sent Rosey to investigate the crash site, but she hasn't returned yet. From what we heard from the soldiers it was pretty bad, though. He may not have survived."

_"He's tougher than that," _said Tanya's voice in his head. "_I'm sure he survived and wouldn't give up._" She didn't should as sure as she said.

"Damn," Peter said, putting his face in his hand. "That's unfortunate. I was looking forward to working with him and the other Arkosians."

"We'll have to focus on what's next," said Rowing.

"Austin should be here any minute," said Peter, "with news on the Sugar Overcharge situation."

**"**Commanders, we have a new threat," said Venom Ahab, walking into the room. "A dozen tanks approaching from Yang Bang. They'll roll over our trenches in less than half an hour."

"Damn, that means they got through Weaponized White Rose," said Jannis.

"Then Sugar Overcharge will have to wait," said Austin, walking in next with a group of soldiers. Link was among them, still in disguise.

"Can our lines hold?" Peter asked.

"It doesn't look like it," said Venom. "The tanks are built to drive over trenches and smash through barbed wire and fortifications. We'll have to use a lot of manpower and explosives to destroy them. Unfortunately, we haven't gotten to laying the anti-tank mines yet."

"And in this anomaly field HEAT rounds haven't been invented yet," said MacGregor. "That makes things difficult."

"we're running out of time, then," said Peter. "Venom, go order all of artillery to fire on the tanks, if they haven't already. But that won't be precise enough to get all of them. The next part will be more dangerous. We need someone to lay down anti-tank mines while others hold them off with anti-tank rifles and form a barricade so they don't see the mine laying."

"I will help protect the mine-layers," said Taco Lord. "I cannot let the Rubyland fall."

"Very good," said Peter. "Any volunteers to lay the mines?"

Link raised his hand, but said nothing.

They went out to the trenches, gathered more troops, and soon had the forces they needed.

"The tanks are almost here," said Taco Lord. "Attention soldiers! Concentrate all fire on the tanks!" The hundred or so soldiers with anti-tank rifles standing outside the trenches opened fire on Yang Bang's forces, which were less than fifty yards away now. The artillery was also firing on the tanks, but had destroyed only one. Many hundreds more soldiers fired on the tanks from the trenches with regular rifles and the occasional machine gun.

**Back in the tanks**

"Why are they standing up outside the trenches?" General Michigan asked. "They're sitting ducks!"

**Switching faction POV again**

The riflemen and the tanks were exchanging fire. The soldiers crouched lower to the ground, but still stood high enough to cover the mine layers behind them. They were taking heavy losses, but whenever one fell, another soldier climbed out of the trenches to take up the anti-tank rifle. Together with the artillery, they were able to destroy three more tanks.

Link carried a large stack of mines. Weighing over ten pounds each, the weight strained his arms. It was a relief to get them all in the ground, but he only had moments to rest before going and getting more. Bullets whizzed overhead, and occasionally close enough to the ground to hit someone. The line of riflemen was not airtight. He noticed that the artillery had stopped, the tanks were too close for them to fire at.

"Not much longer," he said to himself, though he kept his voice low enough that no one would recognize him. The tanks would reach the trenches any moment now.

"Retreat!" shouted Taco Lord. The line of soldiers broke and scattered. Some dove into the trenches to the sides of the tanks, some walked backwards or to the sides as fast as they could, and others turned around and ran. The mine layers joined them, having finally placed all the bombs, their groups blending together. To those in the tanks, it would look like there had only been one group outside the trenches.

**In the tanks**

Yang Bang's eight remaining tanks rolled over the trenches with little difficulty, entering Ray of Sunshine territory. Sword Michigan was pleased. "Good work, everyone," he said over the radio. "We've broken through the enemy lines. All that's left is to surround their fortress and force their surrender."

He decided to take up the rear, which turned out to be a wise choice. Less than a minute after crossing the trenches, two tanks exploded with no warning. Before anyone realized what was going on, three more rolled over the mines, reducing them to flaming wrecks surrounded by scattered debris.

"Stop!" Michigan shouted over the radio to the other two surviving tanks. "Reverse engines and do not deviate from your tracks. We will have to go around to avoid any more mines."

So _that _was why the line of riflemen had stood up outside the trenches. It was so obvious now! But laying the minefield at the last second would prove to be their undoing. From where the line was, he knew where the minefield ended.

**Back with the "good guys"**

"We did it," said Taco Lord. "They're retreating, we've won!"

The soldiers watched as the tanks rolled backwards into no man's land. They started cheering, but it was premature. Soon, the tanks stopped and continued forward again, this time turning to avoid the minefield.

"Oh shit," said Taco Lord and quite a few others. "Everybody, fire on the last three tanks with everything you have!" The soldiers complied, but many of the anti-tank rifles were out of ammo, and regular bullets took dozens if not hundreds of hits to do any real damage.

They managed to destroy one of the tanks, but the other two made it past the minefield and were heading to the fortress of Ray of Sunshine.

"Use grenades, anything you have," said Taco. "Dig up the anti-tank mines and stick them in front of their treads if you have to. We must pro-"

A bullet hit him in the arm. As he fell to his knees from the impact, a tank aimed its main cannons at him.

"Lookout!" Link shouted, tackling him and pulling him out of the line of fire. He fired at the tank with his rifle and threw a grenade at it.

Taco Lord crawled back to the trenches for safety, but Link didn't stick around. Venom Ahab was approaching with anti-tank mines to stick under the treads, but another tank had its sights set on him. Link ran over, also pushing Venom out of harm's way. He grabbed two of the mines, ran up to the tank, and stuck it underneath one of the front treads.

The tank moved backwards, but Link had stuck a mine behind it first. The rear end of the tank exploded, setting the rest of it ablaze. Only two remained.

In the haste of his attack and retreat from the explosion, Link's mask fell off. Everyone could see his face. The face of the man who had caused the whole mess in the first place. Still, there were more important things to worry about.

Taking up an anti-tank rifle that still had ammo, Link joined the other soldiers in destroying another tank.

At last, Sword Michigan's tank rolled up to Ray of Sunshine, and began blasting at the fortified walls. The surrounding soldiers were out of grenades and anti-tank bullets.

"I will conquer the Rubyland," he said. "Even if I have to do it alone!"

"And with us," said another tank crewman.

"Right, you know what I mean."

The tank was almost through the wall.

"No, I can't let it end like this!" Link shouted. He had one last desperate idea. He ran into the base, looking for a supply room. Other soldiers recognized and tried to stop him, but he shoved them aside and kept running.

At last, Link found what he was looking for, and ran back outside with it.

The last tank was damaged and smoking. Good, that made things easier. Link held up a large tin canister of gasoline, and with the last of his strength, hurled it onto his target. The container ruptured on impact, spilling its contents all over the tank. A few seconds later, the fuel ignited, and the tank was engulfed in flames and the screams of those inside.

The hatch opened, and Sword Michigan climbed out as fast as humanly possible. After rolling in the dirt to extinguish the fire on his clothing, he stood up and drew a pistol.

"No!" he shouted. "Yang Bang must not end! The Subreddit will become YBANG! I will-"

Venom shot him before Sword Michigan could fire his pistol. His body fell to the ground, and there was silence for a moment.

"Link," said Venom, "come inside. We have a lot to talk about."

**At Tragic Solitude's private island**

"So, when the Dust Alliance attacked your home, I couldn't just stay here and do nothing," said Tragic. "I did everything I could, but they still won the battle. At least I was able to bring you to safety, but you still lost your ship nation and your memory. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," said Strike Freedom. "I'm very grateful to you. I don't understand though, why do so much for _me?_"

Tragic smiled. "Do you really not know? You've done so much for the Subreddit. You rebuilt Arkos, helped give so many people a new home and a new chance at hope and happiness. You risked your life and fought on the front lines against Almea and her Dark Hive when they invaded from the Tumblr Galaxy during Ship Wars 4. You fought the Dust Alliance until you were the last one in the air, and never gave up. I couldn't let anything happen to you, you deserve better than that."

"_I _really did all those things? I guess I remember bits and pieces of it, but it might as well be a dream."

"It's true, I can show you."

Though the anomaly field didn't allow video technology, Tragic was able to show Strike many photos of him in combat. Not just from recent events, but Ship Wars 3 and even from both Ship Survivors. (Which were originally drawings, but turned into photos when the Anomaly Surge ended)

"I can't believe it," said Strike.

"Do believe it," Tragic replied. "What _I _can't believe is that someone as heroic, kind, skilled, brave, and amazing as you hasn't found a wife or even a girlfriend yet."

Strike blushed. "But I'm not that-"

Tragic put a finger to his lips. "Stop doubting yourself, yes you are. Any woman would be lucky to have you. Especially me."

"Are you sure? You really want to date me?"

"More than anything, Strikey." She kissed him.

And thus followed many days of bliss. Strike and Tragic explored the island, shared stories, (though this was mostly from Tragic), trained for combat and made out.

But whenever Tragic wanted to do something lewd, Strike wasn't quite ready. He wasn't sure why. He wasn't puritanical or anything, and his hormones were screaming for it. It was so confusing. He should be happy, and most of the time, he was, but in the back of his mind, something felt deeply wrong.

**In the Rubyland**

Metas M. Petivero and the Porcupine looked down at the fortress of Ray of Sunshine.

"Looks like Sword took a lot of them down with him," said Metas. "This will make our job a lot easier."

"We may be able to do this in one attack," said the Porcupine.

"Really? I thought it would take a war of attrition to bring them down."

"You underestimate our strength. With the collapse of civilization, many of the food caches were left unguarded. The number of rodents has doubled. I have over a hundred thousand each combat ready mice and rats at your command."

"Excellent," said Exspiro V. Cremantam, as he joined them. Though horribly burned, he had survived.

**Yes! The forces of evil shall prevail!**

**At the Black Order headquarters**

Generix sat in a velvet-lined chair in the command tent, reading "The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli.

"**Yes, what a delightful guide to villainy! I can't wait to use that one.**"

"You're reading that all wrong," said a voice. "He knew Republics are far superior. That's just a guide of what _not _to do, except in dire situations."

"**What?**"

Generix turned around, to see Generic standing behind him. His head was bandaged, but he was alive. Before he could react. Generic swung Melanie Antiqua's key into Generix's head, knocking him out.

Generic heard footsteps approaching, and shoved Generix under the desk just before the Black Sphinx walked in.

"Generix, is everything all right?" Sphinx asked. "I heard a noise. And now you look different? What's going on?"

"Everything's okay," said Generic. "I, uh, decided to get a new look. You can't always expect the same brand of evil. Mua ha ha!"

"Well, all right," said Sphinx. "Just remember our plans." He left the tent.

Generic sighed and sat down. The desk was covered in papers showing the movements of slaves and plans of conquest and destruction.

"What a mess to sort out…"


	11. Chapter 11

**The moment you've all been waiting for, Link finally faces what he's done!**

Link had dozens of eyes on him, but it felt like millions. The faces had many expressions. Surprise, shock, disappointment, anger, hatred, vindictive glee, murderous intent, confusion, and… relief? No, that last one couldn't be right.

"Well?" Armory asked. "Say something."

Link struggled to find the right words. "I- I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn't want to ki-kill anyone. I didn't want to cause all this destruction. I've never felt so awful in my life. I know I ruined everything. I only keep going because things will be even worse if I don't stay to fix as much as I can."

He turned to Peter s. Nachbar. "You told me to keep going. So I have. Even though I could never come close to undoing what I did."

"So what _did _you mean to do?" Nitesco asked. "You broke into the APCM, so you were clearly doing something major and illegal."

"I have an idea," MacGregor muttured.

"It was such a stupid idea," Link said. "I wanted to start Ship Survivor III early. I couldn't stand waiting four months, so after I drank away all my common sense, I tried to summon the Anomaly Surge right then and there. But something went wrong and the power core exploded."

"You mean you went and did that even after you decided to ask the mods to host your own contest?" Armory asked. "What were you thinking?!"

"Not much," Link said. "I was drunk. But that's no excuse." He looked down. "Do whatever you want to me, I can't blame you."

The various people in the room started talking to each other about what punishment would fit, each one being more cruel and unusual than the last.

"Forty lashes."

"Life in prison."

"Hanging."

"Beheading."

"Electrocution."

"Burned at the stake."

"Fed to rats."

"Incinerated in a Bragg explosion."

"Drawn and quartered."

"Forced to read Coeur Al'Aran every day for the rest of his life."

"ENOUGH!" Peter s. Nachbar shouted, silencing the room. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves. He's been here since the beginning of RUBES, hiding behind a mask, but still doing everything he can to improve our situation, and risking his life every day. If it hadn't been for him, Taco Lord, Venom Ahab, and many others would be dead just from today's battle, never mind all the others.

"It takes enormous courage to not only keep going but to do so much after such a terrible mistake, and admit to all of it in front of you. And a mistake it was. You may not like it, but any one of you could have and still might make a mistake like that.

"So before you grab your instruments of torture, maybe try to show a little empathy and compassion, instead of turning into a barbaric lynch mob. We should be better than this."

The others bowed their heads in shame, and started apologizing.

"Peter, thank you," said Link.

"You're very welcome. I knew you were here the whole time, but I didn't want to lose a valuable member by blowing your cover."

"Well said," Alfonse said. "So, what's our next move?"

"Sugar Overcharge would not cooperate," said Austin. "Much as it pains me, we'll have to defeat them to get closer to the APCM."

"That is unfortunate," said Nitesco. "But we knew this wouldn't-"

Just then the door slammed open, and Rosa Cossette Freedom D'Elise walked in. Her normally pristine uniform was dirty with soot and mud, as were her hair and face. Still, her eyes shone with a ferocity that maintained her regal air despite the dirt. Several people stepped back in fear.

"Kyle is alive," she said. "Tragic Solitude and the forces of Mechanical Might are holding him prisoner on a marine island five miles from the mouth of the Gunn River. They are part of the reason the Arkosians are not here to help you. Mechanical Might is likely to attack RUBES at any moment. We need to strike first and rescue Kyle before that happens."

"Look, lady," said Armory. "You can't just barge in here and expect to hijack this Alliance just to get your fuck buddy back, especially when you have no prior history with us."

"Armory, be nice," said Nachbar. He turned to Rosa. "Unfortunately, he does have a point. While we would love to get the last Arkos Oligarch back, we do have other plans and strategies, and we can't just put them all on hold just for him."

Rosa was glaring at Armory and was about to draw her pistol with her left hand and her saber with her right, but she stopped to address Peter. "Mechanical Might is still a threat to RUBES. Tragic is unstable, she will not be satisfied with possessing that island. Her forces are preparing to attack."

"We don't necessarily have to put everything on hold to help her," said MacGregor. "We still have several strong Meme Ships in our Alliance. If Guns N' Roses goes to take down Mechanical Might, the rest of you can deal with Sugar Overcharge."

"I'd love to help," said JMHS Rowing. "Provided that I can sink Position of Power on the way there, I'll bring my last torpedo boat, and the Guns N' Roses troop transport. Peter, is that okay?"

"Yes," he said. "It seems we have a new plan. Guns N' Roses will deal with Mechanical Might and Position of Power, while the rest of our offensive forces attack Sugar Overcharge. Austin, you can stay here with the defense if you want, since I know you hate attacking cargo ships, I can go instead."

"Thank you," said Austin.

**In the Position of Power submarine**

"And then I told him, 'Am I an asshole, yes, I've said is many a time. But I _do _have a soul, for your information,'" said Celtic.

Branwen laughed. "That's great, I wish I'd been there."

"It was pretty intense," said Celtic. "But I'm glad I've changed tactics since then. If you're too big and noisy, everyone will target you."

"That makes sense," said Branwen. "Especially with a title like 'Revengeance Raid.' Still, it must have been one hell of-"

Just then, the submarine rocked with an explosion. Water rushed in from another room, and the lights started flickering.

"Shit, what was that?!" Branwen shouted.

"We've been torpedoed," said another crew member. "The whole engine room is open to the sea, we're going to sink!" They and the other crew members started climbing out the hatch.

"Damn it, what did I do _this _time?! Celtic asked. By the time the rest of the crew had climbed out, the control room was half underwater. As the highest ranking, he and Branwen had to be the last to leave.

**Back on the surface**

Rowing, MacGregor, Rosa, and several others watched from the torpedo boat as the Position of Power crew climbed out of the sinking submarine.

"Hey, what gives?" Celtic asked as he climbed out of the hatch. The last exposed part of the submarine went under moments later, plunging him and the rest of the crew into the ocean. "We didn't do anything to you!"

"You didn't do anything _for _us, either," said Rowing. "Thousands of people drowned the other day, because your submarine sat there and did nothing after the Poptart Passion and Very Useful Lesbian sank each other."

"We had no idea that battle was even happening," said Celtic. "We were all asleep. We didn't find out until much later. No one even tried to contact us for help."

"I suppose it wouldn't have hurt to have someone keep watch," said Branwen. "Still, this is unfair."

"I just can't win," said Celtic. "If I'm proactive, everyone targets me. If I mind my own business and don't threaten anybody, people attack me anyway."

"We'll find a new ship," said Branwen. "As soon as we get out of the water."

"Right," said Celtic, "assuming they're not just going to let us drown." He turned back to the torpedo boat and the troop transport. "Please help us out."

"Like you helped us out?" Rowing asked.

"Haven't you gotten enough revenge already? We didn't even know what was happening. If you let us drown it's murder."

Branwen spoke up. "Says the person who started the 'Revengean-"

Celtic splashed him. "Do you have no tact?!"

"This is going too far," said Rosa. "Cruelty helps no one." She turned to the troop transport. "Give them a lifeboat."

The troop transport, a modified four funnel ocean liner, lowered one of their lifeboats.

"Thanks for that, at least," said Celtic, as he and the others in the water climbed into the boat. His eyes widened as he saw who it was that helped him. "Come on, let's find a new turtle hole." They began rowing (**Heh**) to shore.

"Was that really necessary?" MacGregor asked. "Revenge just breeds more revenge."

"All right, I get the point," said Rowing. "Let's just finish what we set out to do."

**On the island**

Tragic and Strike were making out again, in a more heated session than ever before.

"I love you, Strikey," said Tragic, after catching her breath. "Do you want to take this to the bed?"

She'd asked many times, but Strike always refused. This time, though, he said; "Yes, let's. I lov-"

The door slammed open, and Ebullient Prism burst in. "Sorry to interrupt, but there is an invasion force on our shores! You've really done it this time, Tragic!"

"An invasion force?!" Tragic and Strike exclaimed. "Done what?" Strike asked.

"It's those damn RUBES forces," said Prism.

Tragic groaned. "We'll be combat ready in minutes. I'll go get in my mech, you rally the troops."

"Troops are already rallied," said Prism, and ran back out the door.

"Excellent," said Tragic. She turned to Strike. "Let's find you a plane."

**On the beaches**

Thousands of Guns N' Roses troops poured out of the modified ocean liner and onto the beach, while the torpedo boat and the troop transport's deck guns fired against the enemy troops. The enemy fortifications, consisting of sandbags, boulders, and sharpened wooden stakes, were no match for the overwhelming force.

"We must press on," MacGregor shouted to his troops. "It's your best chance of survival, if you turn around you'll be shot in the back for sure."

Soon, a high-ranking enemy officer called out to them with a megaphone from a hidden position.

"This is lieutenant Ebullient Prism of Mechanical Might. We have done nothing to you, please retreat and there will be no more casualties. No one else needs to die today."

"My spies have informed me you are planning to assault RUBES," Rosa replied. "And even more unforgivable, you have abducted my husband. Return him at once or face dire consequences!"

"We were never planning to assault RUBES," said Prism. "Only to stay on the defensive here until the war ends."

"Actually, that's not quite true," said Tragic, arriving in her mech. "We were going to conquer RUBES once we had a big enough force, and they were worn down from fighting their other opponents."

"WHAT?!" Prism shouted. "I can't believe this! I am your right hand officer, and you plot conquest behind my back?! I would never approve of this! And I should never have agreed to your other crazy plot! You have gone off the deep end, and I'm done following you!"

"Good luck with that," said Tragic. "You have nowhere else to go."

Meanwhile, a biplane flew into the sky from the other side of the island. "KYLE!" Rosa called. "Come down here at once! It's me, your wife!"

"Oh shit," said Tragic. "The beautiful thot returns."

Rosa drew her pistol and her sword, then combined them together to form a sword that was also a gun. "I will get my husband back, and I will end you with this RWBYian weapon."

"Come at me, you delicate flower."

Rosa charged Tragic, running with her arms behind her and dodging the mech bullets. MacGregor and many of the Guns N' Roses troops followed.

Rosa reached the mech and swung her sword at the canopy. Tragic blocked with a mechanical arm, but Rosa shot the glass, cracking it. Tragic shoved Rosa away with the other arm of the mech, but Rosa charged again.

_**Up in the sky, a man in a plane, Kyle Strike Freedom was his name**_**,**

Strike saw Tragic dueling with the mysterious but achingly familiar woman. He did know who she was, but his chest tightened and he felt a pang of guilt when he saw her.

The Mechanical Might troops were too mixed up with the attackers for Strike to do a strafing run on the said attackers without killing any allies. Not only that, but he also got the feeling that he _shouldn't _be strafing the attackers. There was only one thing to do. Land.

As Tragic and Rosa continued dueling, they noticed the biplane getting lower and landing on the beach. They turned away from each other to look at Strike emerging from the plane and walking towards them. The troops on both sides gave him a wide berth.

_Why aren't they shooting at me? _He thought.

"Strikey, help me kill this bitch," said Tragic. "She may be super hot, but she attacked us and therefore must die."

"Don't listen to her," said Rosa. "She attacked _our _home, gave you a head injury that wiped your memory, and abducted you. I am your wife, you must remember me!"

"You do look familiar," Strike said. "Like something from a dream. But I can't remember. It's just out of reach."

"She's famous," said Tragic, "you probably just saw her on TV or something. She's just a yandere stalker who wants to kidnap you."

"Your hypocrisy is astounding," said Rosa. She turned back to Strike. "Don't you remember how we met? You were a student at the flight academy, while I was facing trial for the Lighthouse War. I was at an all time low, and wished to be someone else, somewhere else. The next morning I woke up in your body, and you in mine. This happened every week. You powered through the trial with the confidence I lacked, and got me acquitted. And I saved you from failing your history class, and from friendlessness by meeting Futtleschish and F-Off Cinder. And you helped me stay connected to my own friends.

"We saved each other. And when we finally met in person, we declared our love. You rebuilt my confidence so that I could be the ruler my country needed. And with your loneliness ended, you rose through the pilot ranks, became a top mercenary, and did so well that our client, Arkos, made you an Oligarch. We fought many battles together, and got married. We vowed never to stray from each other."

By the end of her speech, Rosa had her hand on Strike's face. MacGregor had stood back with his face red, as if he knew his presence was intruding on something personal, but didn't want to risk anything bad happening by leaving.

"Rosa," said Strike. "I'm starting to remember."

"I knew you would," she whispered, and kissed him.

At once he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. "I remember everything now! I love you so, so much!"

"NOOO!" Tragic cried. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" She climbed out of her mech, which was damaged from sword marks and bullet holes.

Strike, Rosa, and MacGregor both turned to face her.

"I thought I could trust you," said Strike. "I've never felt so betrayed in all my life. You lied to me about _everything!_"

Tragic started to cry. "No, not everything. When I told you about how amazing you were, all the wonderful things you had done, and how much I wanted to be with you, I meant every word."

"That does not excuse what you have done,' said Rosa. "You have brought unimaginable harm to him and many others. Was it worth it?"

"It would have been."

"You are being incredibly selfish and obsessed to the point of insanity," said Strike. "You said you found Rosa exceptionally attractive too? As a member of the former Pink Rose Gold High Council, I am open minded. Perhaps Rosa and I could have added you to our relationship. But your many evil deeds have forfeited that."

"It was in the name of love!" Tragic exclaimed. "Can't you forgive me?"

MacGregor finally spoke up. "Think of it this way. If a man had done even a quarter of the things you did 'in the name of love,' how would people see him? Would it be at all acceptable? Attacking his nation and killing many, kidnapping him, starting a relationship under false pretenses, and trying to kill his wife when she returned. Do any of those sound okay? Or do they sound like the actions of a deranged lunatic? A yandere is a terrible thing in the real world."

Tragic stood there, frozen and silent for many seconds. Her face turned into an expression of pure horror, as if she had realized that the most terrible thing one could imagine was true. Her face was as white as bleached bones and her eyes stared off into an infinite distance, staring at nothing.

"...You're right," she finally said, her voice hoarse and high pitched. "I don't know what's come over me. Ever since the ACPM explosion and finding Melanie's corpse, I haven't felt like myself. When I watched the old Ship Wars 3 combat footage, I was seized by this uncontrollable urge to have Strikey be mine. It's still there. I can't get rid of it."

She offered her wrists. "Take me prisoner. I must go on trial for what I've done."

"She's too dangerous," said Ebullient Prism, who had crept up behind her. "I'm sorry." And with that, he shot her in the back and through her chest.

The sound of the gunshot shattered the air. The fighting had already stopped. Tragic's eyes somehow went even wider and her face paler, as blood flowed from her back, her chest, and her mouth. A second later, she collapsed.

Several soldiers on both sides shot Ebullient Prism, spraying more blood across the sand.

"STOP!" Strike shouted. "That's enough bloodshed for today."

He and Rosa knelt down next to Tragic. As her blood flowed onto the beach, many shards of Bragg mixed with D-Spair and a strange, new, green variant came out with it. As the contradictory mind-altering substances left her body, the insane light in her eyes disappeared, and a look of relief replaced it.

"I-" she coughed up blood. "I feel better now." She smiled, and her heart and lungs stopped.

"Rest in Peace, Tragic Solitude," said Strike, and closed her eyes with his fingertips. MacGregor took his helmet off. Rosa put her hand on Strike's shoulder.

**Back at RUBES**

Austin, Venom, Armory, Nitesco, Taco, and the others at Ray of Sunshine heard the sounds of many thousands of footprints approaching.

"Is Peter back already? Taco asked.

"Let's go take a look," said Venom.

As soon as they looked outside, the breath left their lungs and the world seemed to stop. Their bodies shivered with terror.

**On one ridge**

Metas M. Petivero, Exspiro V. Crematam, and the Porcupine looked down at the fortress. Two hundred thousand rodents waited behind them. "Let's do this, brother," said Exspiro through his new breathing apparatus.

**On the other ridge**

The Black Sphinx also looked down at the damaged and understaffed fortress of Ray of Sunshine. His lieutenants, Hoesack and Mankuy, stood beside him. Thousands of Unauthorized Snuggles and Feline Utopia troops stood behind them.

"Today, Ray of Sunshine falls."


	12. Chapter 12

With Peter s. Nachbar's brilliant tactics, RUBES forces quickly outflanked Sugar Overcharge's lines and bombarded them with artillery until they surrendered. Things were going well.

Until the distress call came on the radio.

"Peter, this is Link. We have a top level emergency, Ray of Sunshine is surrounded and outnumbered dozens to one! Please return with your forces immediately!"

"_Dozens to one?! _I'll be over as fast as I can!"

Peter was flabbergasted. Ray of Sunshine had roughly 10,000 troops, though they were currently divided. Half with him, the rest at the fortress and in the trench network surrounding it. There were also many more of various other Rubyland Meme Ships such as Twobie, Guns N' Roses, Snowflake Protection, and I Drink Milk, plus Austin's Cargo Ship Clan, which added up to several times more. Still, it seemed the enemy had found a way past all of them, with a force RUBES hadn't even been aware of. How was this possible?!

Unfortunately, it would take far too long for him and his forces to make it over land.

**When a living thing seems beneath your notice, in can strike with an overwhelming element of surprise.**

Jannis, Link, Austin, Nitesco, Taco, Venom, and many others looked out at the vast swarms of rats, mice, and other rodents covering the hills. There had to be tens if not hundreds of thousands. They covered an entire ridge in a dense, moving, mat of fur, teeth, and claws.

There was no escape to the other side. Several thousand Black Order soldiers, roughly twice the number of all of Ray of Sunshine's defenses, stood on the other ridge with tanks and artillery. Nobody had fired a shot yet, but the pre-battle calm would break at any moment.

"This is it," said Taco. "We're totally fucked."

"At least we had a good run," said Link.

"We'll go down as heroes," Venom added. "It's been an honor fighting with you."

Austin and Nitesco shared a look. This situation was all too familiar.

"I don't want to give up just yet," said Jannis. "We still have the home field advantage. This war has destroyed many ships, but we're still standing."

Just then, the Black Sphinx called down with a megaphone, and also into a radio, just to make sure everyone heard it.

"Attention Ray of Sunshine! This is the Black Sphinx, King of the Black Order. Together with the Rodents, we outnumber you over forty to one. You have no chance of victory, or even survival. Surrender now, and we'll let you live. If you're well behaved, your new masters may be kind to you."

"New masters?!" Link exclaimed. "They mean slavery?!"

"Death would be preferable," said Venom.

"Austin and I have fought many battles like this before, during the Ship Survivors," said Nitesco. "We tried and failed to defend many a doomed city from the Revengeance Raid and the Church of Thorns. But we still gave a good fight, and ensured that as many people as possible escaped to fight another day."

"Nobody threatened us with slavery, though," said Austin. "We would have been oppressed had we surrendered or not eventually defeated the Revengeance Raid, but not enslaved. The stakes are far worse this time."

"I for one would rather die than be enslaved," said Jannis. Nearly everyone nodded in agreement. "We may not win, but we'll still give them the fight of their lives. At best, they will only get a Pyrrhic victory."

The Black Sphinx called down again. "Well, what is your answer?"

Jannis looked around until a soldier handed him a megaphone to respond with.

"If YOU don't retreat, we're going to make you pay a river of blood for every centimeter of ground you take! You may outnumber us, but you can never match our indomitable spirit. Your victory is NOT assured, but even if you win, you will regret it. We'll never surrender even if every one of us is killed, but we'll make sure that winning this battle will make you lose the war! So leave us alone, or we'll make this the worst battle you'll ever fight!"

The Black Sphinx, Hoesack, Mankuy, and the Black Order troops just laughed. Metas and Exspiro stayed silent and shook their heads.

"Admirable, but mistaken," said the Black Sphinx. "Attack!"

The Black Order troops charged, as did the Rodents soon after. Both sides opened fire, turning the air into a hailstorm of bullets.

"Tonight, we dine in Valhalla," said Venom.

The bullets of Ray of Sunshine tore through the swarm of Rodents, killing and maiming scores every second. It still made no noticeable dent in their vast horde. On the other side, the Black Order was firing back with their infantry, tanks and artillery. Either attacking force was a serious threat on their own, but together, they were unstoppable.

"They'll be at the trenches in minutes," said Nitesco. He turned to a group of soldiers. "Go to the arsenal and set up a supply chain. We're not going to let them win while we have so much as a single unfired bullet left." They saluted and went back into the fort.

Everyone outside was firing on the attackers with everything they had. Not just the front-line trenches, those in the rear were standing up higher to shoot at the enemy over the heads of their comrades. Even the commanders and officers back at the fort were using their pistols and revolvers. Normally this would have been a waste of ammo, but this time there would be no tomorrow to save any for if they didn't use everything they could.

**On the other side**

"We seem to be losing a lot of troops," said Hoesack, looking down at the battlefield. "Maybe they have a point about making this the worst battle we'll ever fight. This could turn into a Pyrrhic victory."

"It is true that an enemy backed into a corner is the most dangerous of all," said Mankuy R. Laffy.

"My friends," said the Black Sphinx, "you're looking at this the wrong way. History is written by the victors. Even if we and the rats lose the majority of our forces in this battle, we'll still be better off than them. We'll get our propaganda out to the Subreddit and the surviving RUBES ships before word of their heroic last stand spreads. We'll tell everyone about how we overthrew the mightiest and most popular RUBES ship in their own territory. When that happens, they will lose heart, and more will flock to our cause. When we have a reputation of being unstoppable, it will become more true."

"I guess that makes sense," said Hoesack. "Though I'd still rather focus on the superiority of the goddess Blake and how she will be better for the happiness of the Subreddit, rather than might makes right."

"All in due time," said the Black Sphinx.

Mankuy thought in silence, on when and how to best usurp the Black Sphinx's authority. Probably when Sphinx made a major blunder and Mankuy was there to correct it, but only after it cost Sphinx's life.

**Back at Ray of Sunshine**

"I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a White Rosian," said Venom, as he and Jannis continued to shoot at the ever encroaching wave of rodents. They vermin had already overrun the first trench, and the second wasn't long behind.

"How about side by side with a friend?" Jannis asked.

"Oh please," said Armory. "Spare me the sentimental bullshit. It's bad enough we're about to be ripped apart by rats."

"Armory, be nice," said Taco.

"The Black Order has breached the perimeter," Link said over the radio, as he watched a huge group of tanks and soldiers advance over the innermost trench. "All forces, fall back to the fortress."

The remaining soldiers in the last trench evacuated, still firing on the enemy as they retreated back to the fort, joining the commanders and soldiers in firing from behind the walls.

"At least we've put a good dent in their numbers," said Nitesco. "Jannis was right, this will be very costly for them."

"Maybe we'll go down in history again," said Austin. "Those poor heroes doomed to always fall in bloody sieges."

"Let's keep our minds on where we are and what we're doing," said a soldier.

Austin and Nitesco flushed with embarrassment for a moment.

"Link, how's the supply chain going?" Jannis asked over the radio.

"Still holding up," Link replied, "though we've used up about a third of our ammo already."

"That's fine, we don't want the enemy to capture it."

Despite expending untold thousands of bullets, shells, grenades, and other weapons, the enemy forces slowly but surely reached the walls and began bombarding them.

**With the Black Order**

"The tanks will be through the wall in minutes, my lord," said Mankuy. "Victory is within our reach."

The Black Sphinx looked at the line of armored vehicles besieging Ray of Sunshine. The defenders had destroyed many of them, but the majority still remained. Though they suffered heavy losses, the Black Order troops and the Various Rodents had their enemies in a stranglehold.

"Our victory will be glorious," he said.

"Let's just get this over with," said Hoesack.

"Uh, sir," said a soldier, trying to get Sphinx's attention.

"Not now, we're about to win!"

**At the supply chain**

"Come on, just a little longer," said Link, grabbing a new chain of bullets from the box that a soldier had just handed him from the armory. As he clipped it into the machine gun turret, he saw that the closest tank was nearly through the wall.

"Gahh! Not yet!" He fired on the tank and threw his last grenade, but it was no use. The tank fired one more shell, and the wall collapsed in a heap of stone rubble. Link jumped and ran, just barely avoiding having the wall crumble from beneath his feet.

The tank rolled into the fort, firing on the various soldiers and buildings within. The rest filed in after, along with a swarm of rodents and many Black Order troops. Link climbed down from the wall and took cover behind a large fallen chunk of it.

"The supply chain is broken," said Link over the radio. "I kept it up as long as I could."

"You did well," Nitesco replied. "They've paid a hefty price already."

"And they still have a long way to go," said Jannis. "We are as a cornered snake, deadliest because our enemy backed us in."

"We'll go down in history!' Venom Ahab shouted, firing a machine gun and single-handedly barricading an interior door against the enemy.

The interior of the fortress quickly turned into a close-quarters brawl. As enemy troops poured in, the defenders fought back not just with bullets but bayonets, swords, knives, fists, feet, and even teeth. A mist of blood filled the air and slickened the ground as soldier and commander alike wrestled, punched, and stabbed in the writhing throng of foes. Ray of Sunshine was coming to a gruesome end, and most of the RUBES commanders were about to go down with it.

But then, a foghorn sounded, and the brawling people looked to the river. The Black Order troops and Rodents in fear, and the Ray of Sunshine and allied troops in hope. The source of the noise was a modified four-funnel ocean liner painted in zebra-like dazzle camouflage. It was the Guns N' Roses troop transport, with the deck cannons pointed at the invaders. Two biplanes flew above it.

**On the troop transport**

"Open fire on the Black Order troops and the rodents," said Rowing to the gunners. "Try to clear a path."

Peter s. Nachbar was also there. He called into the radio. "All RUBES forces at Ray of Sunshine, this is Peter s. Nachbar. Abandon the fortress and head to the ship at the river. General MacGregor's troops, and Strike and Rosa in the air will cover your retreat. We'll make a new plan once we're all on board."

MacGregor saluted and went below deck where the troops were waiting to deploy.

The deck cannons opened fire, blasting Black Order troops and rodents to pieces. Strike and Rosa strafed from above. Before long, there was a clear trail from the ruined fortress to the river.

_"This is your chance to prove yourself," _said Tanys's voice in MacGregor's head. "_Pull this off, and they'll pick Guns N' Roses as the new RUBES headquarters for sure!_"

"All right, men and women," MacGregor said to the troops. "What we do here today will determine the survival of RUBES. I know you're scared, but take heart. If we all fight the hardest we can for just a few minutes, we won't have to be out there for long. RUBES is counting on us to cover the retreat so we can rebuild and come back stronger than ever. We can't let the enemy through. So let's get out there, and show those rats and cats that Guns N' Roses is a force to be feared!"

The gangway doors opened and the ramps lowered. MacGregor and the troops charged into the battlefield, guns and sabers blazing. The Black Order troops and rodents, weary from fighting, were no match for the fresh reinforcements.

**With the Black Order**

"This is not good," said the Black Sphinx. "We may have won the battle, but I was hoping for fewer survivors on the enemy side. We could have broken their alliance today!"

"We'll still win the war, my lord," said Hoesack. _Though I for one am relieved that this isn't the terrible massacre it was going to be._

_This is my chance,_ Mankuy thought. _I'll usurp the respect of the troops if I pull this off!_ "We can't give up and let them go just yet," he said. "They're still outnumbered. I'll go down and rally them for a charge. We'll break their retreat, wipe out those at the fortress, and capture their ship!"

"Go ahead and try," said Sphinx. "You'll have first pick of the slaves if you can pull this off."

Mankuy saluted and ran down the hill toward the enemy line that was covering their retreat.

"Comrades of the Black Order!" he shouted to his troops. "Allies of the Rodent Collective! Why are you giving up now? We have already achieved so much today. This is our chance to cripple RUBES. It may be easier now to let them go, but the battles ahead will be much harder. One last charge now, and the war will end far more swiftly in our favor! Who's with me?"

The more hardy of the troops cheered, or squeaked in the rodents cases. They followed him in charging toward the new enemy line, rifles blazing and bayonets fixed.

The defender's eyes widened for a moment, not expecting such aggressive action. Still, they held their ground and fought on even harder.

Mankuy himself charged the commander. Enemy troops jumped in the way, but Mankuy shot them down. At last, the general of Guns N' Roses was only a few feet away. The man looked just like a male version of the goddess Ruby. One who was scrambling for more ammo.

"What a golden, or perhaps silver opportunity," said Mankuy. "When I kill you, RUBES will fall soon after, and command of the Black Order will be mine."

He aimed at the enemy general's chest and pulled the trigger. _Click._ "Fuck, out of-"

Mankuy stopped himself to duck, dodging the general's saber by mere inches.

"Command lesson one, shoot first, monologue later," said MacGregor, swinging his sword again.

Mankuy ducked back further and pulled out a switchblade. He leapt to the side and rushed forward, aiming for the heart. MacGregor tried to parry, but received a slash to the arm. Once again Mankuy tried to stab him, but MacGregor kicked him in the shin and held up his sword again.

"You've taken enough today," MacGregor said. "This is as far as you'll get."

"I've only begun!"

MacGregor swung the sword again, but Mankuy parried it with the switchblade. He kicked MacGregor in the chest, pushing him back and nearly knocking him over. Seeing his advantage, he charged and aimed for the throat.

A split second before he could plunge his knife into his opponent's neck, everything went wrong. There was a searing pain through his wrist, and he lost sensation in his hand. Another moment later, and there was another terrible pain, this time through the torso.

Mankuy looked down, his vision swirly. His hand was gone, and MacGregor's saber was lodged in his chest. The hard, cold, sharp metal interrupted every breath and heartbeat. "Oh fuck," he muttered. "Not how it was supp.."

His vision went dark, and he knew no more.

MacGregor put his foot on Mankuy's chest and pulled the bloody saber out. He looked up, and saw that most of the RUBES troops had made it to the ship. With the leader of their last charge dead, the attackers were retreating.

Before long, it was over. All surviving RUBES members from Ray of Sunshine were on board the ship, with those on the upper decks or near portholes watching the smoldering ruins of the fortress fade into the distance as they retreated up the river into the mountains.

In what was the first class lounge during peacetime, the commanders met up once again, with some of their best troops.

"I won't sugarcoat it, this was a major strategic loss," said Peter. The faces around him were grim and tired. Many of the commanders were injured. All who had fought on the ground were dirty and bloodstained. "But it could have been much worse. Thanks to MacGregor's troops and Rowings cannons, we were able to save thousands of troops. We must now decide where to make our new headquarters."

"I propose that we move the headquarters to Snowflake Protection," said Jannis.

"Snowflake protection is on the plains, not far from Ray of Sunshine," said Nitesco. "A shorter retreat, but it leaves us more vulnerable. It will be very costly to defend, and will likely result in a repeat of today. We need a more defensible location. I propose Guns N' Roses."

MacGregor and Rowing nodded in agreement.

"I say we should move the headquarters to Armed & Ready," said Austin. "It's closer to the APCM than Guns N' Roses and much closer and more defensible than Snowflake Protection."

"Any more suggestions?" Peter asked. No one raised their hands or spoke up. "Who's in favor of moving to Snowflake Protection?"

Jannis and a small handful of his troops raised their hands.

"Guns N' Roses?"

More than half the room raised their hands.

"Armed & Ready?"

About a third raised their hands.

"Then it's decided. The new RUBES headquarters will be at Guns N' Roses. I will inform the captain." MacGregor, Nitesco, and Rowing shared a smile.

Peter moved to walk out of the room, but Strike spoke up. "Wait a minute, where's Venom?"

Several others also looked curious, but others bowed their heads. "He didn't make it," said Jannis. "He died defending the fort to the last. He took down quite a few enemies with him, though."

"Damn," said Strike. Rosa grabbed his hand. "The former Pink Rose Gold High Council gets smaller every day. I'll miss him."

"As will I," said Jannis. Several others echoed that sentiment, even Armory.

**Well done, attackers.**

The Black Sphinx, Hoesack, Exspiro, Metas, and several high ranking members of the Rodent Collective watched the troop transport steam away towards the mountains, away from the ruined fortress.

"Good work," said Metas, shaking the Porcupine's paw. "Whatever they choose next, is something I can live with. We have brought change."

"Pleasure doing business," said the Porcupine. "We suffered heavy losses, but no more than anticipated. We'll rebuild within a few months. Now for your end of the bargain, help us find a new den to rebuild in."

"I know just the place," said Exspiro.

"Good for you," said Sphinx, "Enjoy your new den. The Black Order's going to finish this fight."

Generic walked over, covered in bruises.

"Generix, welcome back," said Sphinx. "What happened to you?"

"Our potential recruit and I had a personal disagreement to settle," said Generic. "But don't worry, we'll get him yet." _Get him the slaves back, that is._

"How unfortunate," said Sphinx. "But at least today was a victory. And the next battle will be a greater one."

He held up a vial of sickly greenish-yellow fluid with a gloved hand.


	13. Chapter 13

**Many days earlier**

Rose MacGregor crept through the pits and craters of No Man's Land, careful to avoid having her head go above the average surface level. The whizzing bullets were still low enough to be dangerous.

"I can't believe I have to go out here," she muttered to herself, but instantly regretted it. "If it were me though, I'd want them to send someone."

She looked up at the plume of smoke that was her goal. Just a little farther.

A few more minutes of scrambling and she found it. In one of the deeper craters was the smoldering remains of a biplane. Rosey could see where its occupant had pulled himself out, crawled to the other side of the crater, and collapsed on his back.

His clothes were torn, burned, and bloodstained. He had cuts and bruises all over his face. He lay almost as still as the dirt and rocks around him. But he was still breathing.

"Blue, you're alive!" Rosey shouted in relief.

Blue Whale King cracked an eye open. "So it would seem."

Several seconds passed in silence.

"You've got to come back with me," Rosey finally said. "RUBES needs your help."

Whale sat up. "What, you want me to run out there with this primitive tech and face down the whole Black Order? I just tried that. It didn't work out." He gestured to the destroyed plane.

"You're a valuable member," said Rosey. "The Great Hero of Ship Wars 4! You can still make a difference."

"Can I? I tried to assemble a force to help you just hours ago. Not one person responded. NOT ONE! Ship Wars 4 might as well be ancient history. The time when people flock to me has passed. But I'm still a high profile target. If I go back out on the front right now, I'll get gunned down immediately, and I might lose this body. It wouldn't accomplish anything."

"You can't just give up," Rosey said. "I thought you swore you never would!"

"I didn't say I'm giving up," said Blue. "I said my time has passed, but I didn't say it wouldn't come again. I can't help you now, but I might be able to in the future." He stood up, still careful to keep his head below the level of the crater rim.

"So what will you do now?"

"I'm going to leave this planet and take a trip to the core worlds. I have other responsibilities than this war, and there are opportunities I need to take advantage of that aren't on this planet. But I'll be back fairly soon."

"Leave this planet? How?"

"I have my ways," he said, and crawled out of the crater the way Rosey had come. She watched as he made his way to the river, transformed into his full-sized form, and swam away.

**Back in the present**

"So who knows when we'll be seeing him again," Rosey said.

It had been a week since the fall of Ray of Sunshine. After a perilous trip searching through the battlefields, Rosey had finally made it to the new RUBES headquarters, a castle in the highlands of Guns N' Roses.

"I'm glad to know that he's alive," said Strike, "but his behavior is concerning."

"Agreed," said MacGregor Rose. "What could be happening in the core worlds that's more important than this?"

Jannis, Link, Austin, Nitesco, Armory, and several others nodded.

"If it's relevant, I'm sure we'll find out," said Peter s. Nachbar. "In the meantime, we need to find a way to stop the Black Order. In just the past few days we've lost Ray of Sunshine, Twobie, and I Drink Milk. According to Rowing's latest telegram, they're headed for Snowflake Protection next. At this rate, Guns N' Roses will be an island under siege within a few days."

"I will go fortify Snowflake Protection," said Jannis. "Its frozen tundra plains sit at the northern part of what was once White Rose. I will not abandon my homeland, even if its government is no more."

"I'll go with you," said Link. "I will not abandon my homeland either. It's my duty to go make amends."

Peter nodded. "What about the Cargo Clan?" he asked, turning to Austin.

"Muppets and obviously Feline Utopia have joined the Black Order," said Austin, "but Petal to the Metal and Armed & Ready are still on our side. And for anyone who didn't already know, we just lost I Drink Milk. Taco Lord died defending it."

"Yes, that was a tragedy," said Peter. "Like Ray of Sunshine all over again."

"That makes Go Ren the last Happiness ship," said MacGregor. "How are they holding out?"

"Fortunately, the Black Order has made no attacks against them lately," said Rosey. "They're providing much of the food and other logistical support for RUBES. It's best if we keep letting the Black Order think they're unimportant."

"They may prove crucial to our victory," said Peter. "And Alfonse is one of our best members."

"I don't deny his sincerity, dedication, and conviction," said Jannis, "but he is naive. He fails to see the necessity of ruthlessness in war."

Armory smirked, seeing an opportunity. "So ruthlessness is our key to defeating the Black Order? In that case, I say we just nuke 'em. It wouldn't be the first time for some of us." He looked at MacGregor.

MacGregor threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Oh come on, am I ever going to live that down? It was only one time. And in an Anomaly Surge! An alternate version of me!"

"Wait, I'm confused," said Cyanide Sins, who had been in charge of Guns N' Roses while Nitesco, MacGregor, and Rosey were away with other meetings and battles. "What happened?"

Armory was about to add another snarky comment, but Jannis cut him off. "During Character Survivor, MacGregor here used a nuclear weapon against my laboratory. I don't know how he got it in the city gang war setting, but I won't forget it any time soon."

MacGregor sunk lower into his chair and folded his arms. "Blue tried to nuke the whole city. If Wingnut hadn't been there to stop him, who knows what would've happened."

"This is all irrelevant," said Nitesco. "Nukes don't even work in this anomaly field, and what happened in Character Survivor isn't going to affect what's going on now."

"We'll just have to keep fighting and hope for the best," said Jannis, "until we figure out something. I'll be off to Snowflake Protection now. Hopefully I'll get there before the Black Order does." He stood up from the table. Link followed. They both looked at Armory, who rolled his eyes and made a big show of stretching out before getting up as well.

"Good luck," said Peter. "May Ruby's smile be with you."

"You as well," said Link.

"For Ruby's smile," said Jannis. "I will not fail."

"See ya, losers," said Armory.

The three of them walked out the door.

"I hope they win," said MacGregor. "We've had too many losses."

"Tell me about it," said Nitesco. He, Peter, Austin, MacGregor, Rosey, and the others continued working on their plans to defend Guns N' Roses.

**At Snowflake Protection, a few hours later**

Snowflake Protection was in a tundra plain in the northern region of White Rose. The growing season was very short, but in that time, they grew fibers and grazed sheep for textiles.

"Holy shit it's cold," said Armory as their vehicle approached the walled city on the snowy plain.

"That's the tenth time you've said that," said Link. "We'll be inside in a few minutes."

"We'll only have a few minutes to warm up before the Black Order gets here," said Jannis, "so you'd better make the most of it."

"I almost hope they set the city on fire," said Armory. "At least that way, we can die warm and not have our frozen corpses displayed in a museum a thousand years from now."

Jannis and Link just rolled their eyes and ignored him.

Soon, the primitive car passed the trench around the city and reached the gates of the stone-plated city wall. Upon seeing its occupants, the guards opened the gates and let them through without a word. Armory gave an envious look at the burning braziers the guards stood around.

Fortunately, it was warmer inside the wall. The city was filled with more open fires, raising the temperature to a somewhat less frigid level so that the people could go about their business and not have to stay indoors all day.

"This is much better," said Link.

Armory ran over to the nearest burning brazier and leaned over it, singing his clothes. Jannis and Link continued walking in the direction of the garrison.

"Come on, Armory," Jannis said. Armory rolled his eyes and ran back over after a few seconds.

The garrison wasn't far from the gate. It was a stone-plated tower built up against the inside of the wall, and had doors leading to the top of it. The whole city wall was built like an old medieval castle. It was mostly to keep out the cold, since such defenses were usually obsolete in an era when starships could rain plasma on cities and turn them to glass from outer space. The wall and tower had stone plating for aesthetic reasons, but the core structure consisted of reinforced concrete.

The troops stood up as Jannis, Link, and Armory entered the garrison. "What news?" asked the captain.

"The Black Order is on its way here," said Jannis. "They may already be visible from the tower. We need everyone capable of bearing arms to defend the city."

The soldiers exchanged grim looks, then saluted.

"Wait a minute, shouldn't you have known about this already?" asked Link. "Rowing sent us the message that the Black Order was on its way. He's much closer to you than to Guns N' Roses!

"We're having issues with our communications," said the captain. "It seems our telegraph wires have been severed, and our radios are damaged as well. We haven't been able to fix them yet."

"Sabotage," said Jannis, closing his fists.

"Most likely. The good news is, we suspected an attack was coming because of this. All the soldiers are combat ready, and we're already preparing the artillery. And, whoever it was left in a hurry. We didn't find them, but it seems they made a hasty exit."

"Good," said Jannis. "Carry on, then." As they spoke, soldiers were already streaming to the top of the wall and setting up machine gun turrets. Before long, they were rolling artillery pieces out the gates and setting them up on the outside of the wall, along the line of the outer trench.

"Wouldn't it be better to set up the artillery _inside _the wall?" Armory asked.

"We wish, but there's no room," said Jannis, gesturing behind them. Sure enough, the houses and other buildings went almost against the wall.

"It shouldn't be long now," said Link. "I'm going up to take a look."

Jannis nodded. Link saluted, and went back into the garrison and ascended the steps to the top of the tower. His heartbeat quickened in apprehension as he thought of what he might see. Everything from "nothing," to "the largest military force assembled in the sector since the for the of the for the of the , poised to wipe Snowflake Protection off the map."

At the top of the tower, several soldiers stood around. There was a machine gun turret, a radio station, a bench, and boxes under it with various supplies. There was also a binocular station.

"Can I have a look?" Link asked the soldier currently peering through them.

"Yes, sir," the soldier said. Link looked through the binoculars out onto the plain.

JMHS Rowing's ships, the modified 4-funnel ocean liner and the last surviving Guns N' Roses torpedo boat, were patrolling the river several miles away. A few miles beyond that, the Black Order forces were already visible. It wasn't the vast horizon-spanning host that Link had imagined, but it was still a formidable force consisting of thousands of troops, along with dozens of tanks and artillery pieces.

"They'll be in range of Rowing's ships in moments," said Link.

"Yes," said the soldier who was looking before. "We're trying to get the radios to work, but they've all been sabotaged."

"Let me take a look," said Link. He went to the radio station. Compared to the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine, tinkering with it was a piece of cake. The only damage was pulled wires, which Link was easily able to solder back into place.

"There," he said. "Good as new. Now if I can just find Rowing's frequency…"

He fiddled with the knobs for a minute before he finally found it. In that time, the sounds of gunfire came from over the plain.

"Come in, JMHS Rowing," Link said over the radio. "This is Link at Snowflake Protection. Are you receiving me?"

"I've been trying to contact Snowflake Protection all day!" Rowing responded. "Where have you been?"

"Black Order spies sabotaged our equipment, I just barely fixed this radio," Link said. "But never mind that. What's the situation?"

"They've sent the majority of their forces," said Rowing. "Both Feline Utopia and Unauthorized Snuggles. You should be able to see them by now, we're already engaging. Our guerrilla forces were able to slow them down, but now they've caught up to us. And it gets worse, they have a new weapon."

"What new weapon?"

Rowing wasn't able to respond, due to the noise of bullets striking the torpedo boat just outside the radio room.

"A new toxic gas," he replied when the noise died down again. "Delivered by-"

The sound of an explosion blasted over the radio, and the channel turned to static.

"Damnit!" Link shouted, and ran back down the steps to fix the other radios in the city. There wasn't much else he could do.

**With JMHS Rowing and their pathetic little "fleet"**

Rowing got up from the floor of the radio room, or what was left of it. A shell had hit the ceiling, blasting it open and destroying the radio. The impact of the shell had knocked Rowing off their feet before it actually exploded, so they were able to duck under a table and avoid the worst of the blast.

Still, Rowing's ears rang from the detonation, and their whole body ached after the shockwave.

Rowing stood up, pulled out a pistol, and looked around. The Black Order were continuing to fire on both vessels, though thanks to its larger size, the troop transport was doing much better.

One more major hit and the torpedo boat would sink. The 4-funnel liner modified into a troop transport would last longer, but it still didn't have a chance, especially against the Black Order's new weapon. This was likely to be Rowing's last stand.

"But I'm not going down without a fight," they muttered. Stepping over the dead and maimed bodies of the deck crew, Rowing went to operate the torpedo boat's machine gun.

"Let it never be said that JMHS Rowing died without honor! I will take as many of you with me as I can! Every one of you I kill is a life saved at RUBES!" Rowing shouted, and opened fire on the Black Order troops.

The enemy concentrated more fire on the torpedo boat, and the impact of many bullets and the shockwaves of shells exploding in the water nearby rocked it. Rowing's arms grew tired and sore from the constant recoil of the gun, and the smoke irritated their eyes and nose. Still, they fired on. A bullet hit Rowing in the shin, then another one in the arm, but still they emptied belt after belt of ammunition into the Black Order's armies.

The few surviving crew members of the torpedo boat followed Rowing's example and shot at the ever-closer Black Order forces with their own small arms. Eventually, they were all gunned down.

Rowing stood alone, the last survivor. They yelled at the top of their lungs, though had no hearing left after the explosion and firing the machine gun for so long. They had seating pains all over their body from bullet wounds, but they continued firing, even as the overheating machine gun burned their hands. It was only a few minutes, but it felt like many hours.

At last another shell struck the torpedo boat, rupturing the hull and filling Rowing's back with shrapnel. Still, they fired on, though their vision was starting to fade. At last, a bullet struck them in the forehead, and the lifeless body of JMHS Rowing fell into the water as the torpedo boat went down.

A few minutes later, the troop transport originally from Guns N' Roses was sinking as well. The last of the RUBES Navy was no more.

**We'll see how much Protection a Snowflake can really give!**

All the artillery was finally set up. The civilians were hidden in basements, bunkers, and other underground rooms in the innermost part of the city. The troops stood atop the wall, or in the outer trench with the artillery. All that was left to do was wait.

As the enemy neared firing range, Jannis spoke to the troops, walking along the top of the wall with a megaphone.

"The Black Order may be a deadly threat, but they are no match for us. This city has been through worse. It survived the Anti-Cargo Purges. It survived Dimension Defender's Revolution. It even survived the Dark Hive! In every case, these walls, and more importantly, the brave souls within and without, repelled the murderous attacks. The Black Order will be no different. No cult or empire, anarchist or revolutionary, homophobic bigot or Tumblr Wasp, and most of all, no Black Order, can crush the Indomitable Spirit of the North!"

The troops cheered. Moments later, the artillery on both sides started firing.

Link stood on the tower, shooting at enemy artillery operators with his sniper rifle. Several shells hit and blew craters in the wall, but Link took out those who aimed for the tower, even as it shook beneath him from the nearby blasts.

As the soldiers and tanks got within firing range, the Black Sphinx called back to Jannis with a message of his own.

"As we crushed Ray of Sunshine, so too will we destroy Snowflake Protection if you do not surrender. We are the indomitable ones. Nothing can stop the Black Order. You are only throwing your lives away."

"You should know by now that's not going to work, you filthy alley-cat," Jannis responded. "You may be a wave that has swept away all obstacles, but we are the rocks that will finally break you. Für Ruby und das Vaterland!"

"So, you speak German? Good to know."

"Oh no," Hoesack muttered. He gestured for several of the soldiers to cover their ears, while Sphinx took out a piece of paper and read from it.

"Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"

It took Jannis a moment to process that, but once he did, he started laughing. And laughing, and laughing, and laughing, until he collapsed on the ground and was gasping for breath, and yet still couldn't stop laughing. As did all German speakers who heard what Sphinx said.

"Sir, are you okay?" asked a soldier. Jannis couldn't respond, he was still laughing, so much that he was unable to breathe. Within a minute, he was dead.

All of the soldiers (except those who had shared Jannis's fate) were shocked, but especially Armory.

If it was just in theory, or it happened to someone he didn't know, Armory would've found the situation hilarious. He didn't much care for people or politics, or anything, really. He was a nihilist who usually found meaning in life through dark humor and trolling. He only joined the former Pink Rose Gold High Council for the amusement, especially trading dark jokes with Venom Ahab.

But now, seeing one of his closest comrades and fiercest fighters he knew, dead on the ground from such an underhanded tactic before he could even fight, a war raged within Armory. On one hand, it was funny to his twisted sense of humor. But to another, it was sad. And enraging. He only now realized it, and hated to admit it, but Armory _was _capable of caring for others. He talked of hating himself and everyone around him, but without anyone around, his dark jokes would be pointless. And he'd grown attached to certain people's company.

Giving into his rage, unused to feeling anything so strongly, Armory pulled out his gun and fired at the Black Order troops. Many of his fellow soldiers thought him a useless bother, but now, seeing him in action, they felt guilty for ever thinking that.

At the battle raged, Armory dodged every attack, and every bullet he fired killed a Black Order soldier. Contrary to popular belief, he _did _have excellent combat skills.

Link watched from the tower in awe as Armory cut a swath through the enemy soldiers. His example emboldened the others, and combined with their defensive advantage, the city of Snowflake Protection was repelling the assault with ease.

"This does not look good," said the Black Sphinx. "Looks like we'll have to use our new weapon after all."

"I know," said Hoesack. "Much as I hate it."

The Black Sphinx turned around and called to their new greatest ally.

"Tsarina, fire the mustard gas!"

"With pleasure," she said in a thick Russian accent. The rearmost and largest artillery piece fired for the first time, launching a shell into the Snowflake Protection trench. The Black Order soldiers knew what this meant, and put on their gas masks. The RUBES soldiers hadn't heard Sphinx's order, and weren't so lucky.

The shell's explosion released a cloud of sickly yellow fume, turning the skin and mucus membranes of anyone who touched it into blisters. The lungs of the unfortunate RUBES soldiers were stripped raw and began filling with blood.

The other remaining Black Order artillery pieces switched to this cruel new round. Soon the whole Ray of Sunshine line was smothered with the mustard gas, a substance far worse than the Chlorine that had wiped out so many of their ships weeks earlier. Armory's blaze of glory came to an agonizing end, as did many of his fellow soldiers.

A good portion of the Ray of Sunshine troops were able to get their masks on after the initial attack, and since they were dressed for the freezing weather their skin was fairly well protected, but it was not enough. The massive casualties, disruption, and even the lack of visibility were enough to break the line. Before the survivors could regroup, the Unauthorized Snuggles and Feline Utopia troops overran the trench and breached the wall. Soon the city was filled with mustard gas, killing all civilians who were not in an air-filtered bunker, or who did not have a gas mask of their own. Few did.

Link ran down the steps of the garrison tower and fled for the back gate of the city, dodging falling rocks and chunks of concrete as artillery fire demolished the tower. The eyes of his gas mask were filling up with tears.

Even after he reached and left through the back gate, he didn't stop running. Though his legs burned and his sides felt like they had knives in them, he continues running for miles across the frozen plain, as the armies of the Black Order advanced behind him.

Snowflake Protection was gone. The fleet was gone. JMHS Rowing, Jannis T, and Armory One were dead. The Black Order was still strong, and there was nothing between them and Guns N' Roses. A nation very short on gas masks.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sometimes, your greatest strength can become your worst weakness.**

"How could we possibly be low on gas masks?" MacGregor exclaimed. "I ordered thousands! Tens of thousands, even! It was my biggest obsession! My special interest!"

"I don't know what happened," said Peter, unused to being on the defensive in a conversation. "All I know is, most of them are gone, even missing from soldier's uniforms. And the Black Order is on its way here."

Link sat at the table, still catching his breath after running for miles and hours on end. Despite wearing thick clothing and a gas mask, he still had several blisters on his face and body.

"And you said that the mustard gas wiped out the whole city?" Austin asked.

Link nodded. "And they wiped out the last of our navy, and killed Jannis with some kind of strange psychological warfare. Rowing died with the ships, the gas got Armory and nearly all the soldiers."

"That's impossible," said MacGregor. "Mustard gas only has a 25% casualty rate, at most, and the victims don't usually die right away. It's designed to maim, not kill."

"Not from what I saw," said Link. "And I clearly heard Sphinx shout 'Release the mustard gas.'"

"Could they have mixed it with something else?" Nitseco asked. "I've experienced that kind of thing before."

MacGregor thought for a moment. "That seems most likely," he said. "Probably some kind of nerve agent. Gas masks would filter that out, but they wouldn't stop the blistering." He gestured to Link's face.

"We'll still need to get the masks back," said Peter. "If Guns N' Roses falls, the whole of RUBES is sure to follow."

"Not again," Nitesco muttered. Austin patted his shoulder.

"I think I know where they went," said Strike. "The Rodents. Only they would be able to get in, steal them off of soldier's uniforms, and get out without being caught."

"Damnit," said Rosey. "They were so cute and adorable though!"

"Looks can be deceiving," said MacGregor.

"I'm sure it was nothing personal," said Strike. "They operate a business. Team SANS was their first client, back on r/ArkosForever, but now someone's hired them against us."

"It doesn't change anything," said Austin. "We are still about to suffer an attack which we are ill-prepared to defend against."

"There is hope," said MacGregor. "We have the high ground."

"What planet do you think we're on?" Rosey asked. "r/PrequelMemes?"

MacGregor ignored her. "We'll be able to shoot them before they can shoot us. The gas is heavier than air, so that gives us another advantage."

"So we'll give our remaining masks to the soldiers in the lowest elevation positions," said Peter. "They'll need them most."

"And we have a lot fewer soldiers than we did before, so the remaining masks will go farther," said Strike.

"That sure is positive," Rosey muttered.

The door opened, and Rosa Cossette Freedom D'Elise poked her head in. "I am sorry to interrupt. Kyle, will you please come with me? It is urgent."

"I'm coming," Strike said, getting up from the table. His footsteps echoed in the stone castle as he walked out the door, and the sound of it closing reverberated.

Several seconds passed in silence.

"It feels so empty," said Nitesco. "Just a few weeks ago, we had so many people in these meetings. Now, it's just us."

Only he, Austin, Nitseco, MacGregor, Rosey, and Peter were left at the table. Six seats empty, the other fourteen filled with emptiness. Perhaps with ghosts.

"I know," said Link. "We've lost so many. Jannis, Armory, Rowing, Venom, Taco, Generic, Eldi, Kaboom, and so many others. Not to mention all those who died in the Catastrophe."

"There are more of us than just are here," said Peter. "Cyanide is down with the soldiers, Alfonse is back at Go Ren, and Strike and Rosa-"

"Are off doing who knows what, along with that missing Whale," said MacGregor.

"I trust them, I'm sure it was important," said Peter.

"We have to hope that the Black Order is running low on resources and manpower as well," said Austin. "Their forces aren't infinite. Our fallen comrades took down quite a few of them with them. Their victories come at a cost. Guns N' Roses could be the hurdle that finally breaks them."

"Let's hope," said Link. "I'm so tired of losing everything. Blisters be damned, I'm going to break their line and stop their onslaught here and today!"

"We're with you," said Peter. "But not today. It's late, and we need to get some rest."

"Is the Black Order resting?'" Nitesco asked.

"Actually, yes," said Link. "I was fleeing from them, I would know."

"Then now's our chance to strike," said Rosey. "While they're tired from their last battle, we storm their camp and kill Sphinx, Hoesack, and Tsarina in their tents!"

"As much as I would love to do that," said MacGregor, "it wouldn't work. They are sure to have guards, barbed wire, and other precautions against that. Here, we have a strong defensive position. If we tried to attack their camp, we'd be severely outnumbered and surrounded. It would be a disaster."

"We still can't let them sneak up on us in OUR sleep," said Rosey.

"We won't," said Peter. "We'll sleep in shifts. The most exhausted will go first, while the rest of us prepare."

"I guess that's settled, then," said Nitesco.

"I don't know how I'm going to be able to sleep," said MacGregor.

"You'll get used to it," said Austin.

They all said goodnight and went to their beds, except for Peter and Nitesco, who had the first watch. They all agreed to let Link sleep through the night. He fell asleep instantly, despite the blisters. MacGregor tossed and turned for a while, but eventually gave in. All but the exhausted Link had unpleasant dreams, filled with dread.

**Their dread is not at all unjustified.**

The hours rolled on, and the dark of night slowly became a deep blue, then a paler blue. In the early pre-dawn light, the leaders of the Black Order discussed their plans in a tent.

"I must admit, this will probably be our most difficult battle yet," said Hoesack. "They have the terrain advantage. We have incurred heavy losses."

"Don't worry, my friend," said the Black Sphinx. "They have suffered far worse. And once we gas them out, the advantage will be ours. Especially since our Rodent friends took most of their masks." He gestured to the Porcupine, who was standing on the desk.

"Pleasure doing business with you," said the Porcupine. "Though I must announce that this was the last operation of Ship Sinker and Couple Breaker technologies. The Rodent Collective has nothing more to gain and everything to lose by further involving ourselves in this war."

"That's perfectly fine," said Sphinx. "We got what we needed. We wish you the best."

With that, the Porcupine and his beaver guards left the tent.

"Now ve can discuss things more freely," said Tsarina, speaking in her thick Russian accent. She was a muscular, dyed-red haired woman dressed in a combat suit, with various weapons all over her person. Her skin was very pale, and discolored in some places, with many oddly-shaped scars. As if she had recently been revived from a corpse.

Sphinx's face lit up. "Yes, let's," he said. "Were you able to acquire the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine Key?"

"Yes," Tsarina replied, holding up the Bragg-topped device.

"Excellent," Sphinx said, rubbing his hands together. "What about the real Generix? Have you located his whereabouts?"

"Yes," Tsarina said, somewhat less proudly than her previous answer, "but it vill take some time for him to arrive. Generic and his ally had driven him zeventeen standard deviations from the main timeline away. Nonetheless, he is coming."

"That is frustrating, but you've done all you can do," said Sphinx. "Good work on being able to find him."

"I can't believe we let Generic fool us into thinking he was Generix," said Hoesack. "And then we let him slip out of our grasp by sending him to parley with the B-"

"There is no use going over that again," said Sphinx, putting his hands on his head in embarrassment. "What's done is done. We will fix that wrong soon enough."

"So what's our plan, beyond 'attack them and win?'" Hoesack asked.

"It's pretty straightforward," said Sphinx. "We hit them hard and fast with our artillery, and demolish their strongholds, forcing them out into the open. We'll leave only one line of soldiers between the enemy and our artillery pieces, so they will swarm forward to take the bait. Then, we gas them long before they can reach us."

"Why don't we just pound their strongholds to oblivion, then gas what's left?" Tsarina asked. "Letting them rush out at us seems very risky."

"If we do that, they will only retreat deeper into the ruins," said Sphinx. "And that would allow the survivors to regroup and allow time for their allies to arrive. If we want to win this war quickly and decisively, we must continue to press our advantage and not allow RUBES any time to regroup. The best way to do that is wipe out all their soldiers and commanders currently at Guns N' Roses in one fell swoop."

"Let's hope this works," said Hoesack.

"It had better," Tsarina muttered.

"Hey, have a little faith," said Sphinx. "Have I ever steered you wrong before?"

"Well," said Hoesack, "there was that incident with the diger-"

The shock of an explosion split the air and rumbled the tent.

"Great," said Tsarina. "We 'ave vasted our time talking." She got up and ran out of the tent. Sphinx and Hosack followed, as more explosions rang out.

The encampment was in chaos. Several tents were floating as fabric scraps in the breeze, with their supports strewn around the craters. The men were running to and fro, trying to prepare for battle but caught unawares.

"Get the artillery ready!" Sphinx shouted. "Everyone else, get your small arms and aim for the enemy artillery operators! Stop their barrage!"

The soldiers closest to the artillery began uncovering it and getting it ready to fire, while the rest found positions and started firing at the Guns N' Roses artillery positions.

None of the small arms fire hit its mark, the targets were too far away. A shell hit one of the Black Order's artillery pieces, blowing it apart.

"This is not going anywhere, the soldiers are only wasting ammo," said Hoesack.

"We will have to advance," said Tsarina. "Otherwise, they will hit us far more zan we can hit them."

Sphinx looked around, and saw that his lieutenants were right. He sighed. "Very well," he said. "Soldiers, advance!"

**Back at Guns N' Roses**

MacGregor stood in a small tower at the outermost stone fortifications, in front of the artillery but behind the innermost trench. He looked with his binoculars at the Black Order struggling to recover from the Guns N' Roses artillery's surprise attack. "The small arms fire has stopped, the enemy soldiers are advancing," he called out.

"Good," said Nitesco, who was standing on the stone castle wall behind the artillery. "Continue the barrage."

"And it looks like their artillery is almost ready."

"Concentrate our artillery fire on theirs," said Nitesco. "Our soldiers in the trenches will have to deal with the advancing enemy troops."

"Already on it," said MacGregor, relaying the order.

"We'll do our best, General," radioed Cyanide from the trenches.

"This is it," said Austin, who on the wide castle wall with Peter, Nitesco, and Rosey. "This is where we determine history. Either the Black Order breaks here, or RUBES does."

"Once again," said Peter, "We still have Go Ren, Armed & Ready, and Petal to the Metal."

"But they won't last long against a direct assault," said Rosey. "Those areas give us supplies and troops, but they have few fortifications. Unless it's a pyrrhic victory for the Black Order, if they win this battle, RUBES will be wiped out."

"It disturbs me how pessimistic you've become," said Peter.

"It's the truth," she said. "Optimism won't help us win, if it blinds us from seeing things how they are."

"She has a point," said Austin.

"That doesn't mean we can just give up!" Peter exclaimed.

"Who said anything about giving up?" Rosey asked. "We're still going to fight to the bitter end."

At last, the Black Order artillery started firing. The first few shells weren't very accurate, mostly hitting dirt and rocky outcrops. Still, one of them landed directly in a trench, blasting soldiers and equipment into the air. After that, the enemy artillery operators managed to fine tune the orientation to aim at the castles and fortifications. One shell hit the top of a tower, sending the upper third of it crumbling to the ground.

Meanwhile, the Black Order foot soldiers were starting to storm the lowermost trench.

"Colonel Cyanide, evacuate the outer trench and fall back," MacGregor called on the radio. "Aim the machine gun turrets at the artillery. If we lose our fortifications, we'll be sitting ducks to the gas!"

No response. "Cyanide, are you there?"

"Colonel Cyanide is dead, General," said a strange voice. "That shell hit his position. This is the backup radio station at the middle trench."

"Damnit, NO!" MacGregor shouted. "Who is this?"

"This is Sergeant Puzzarian Ideal," said the voice, straining to be heard over the gunfire and exploding shells.

"Then my order passes to you, _Colonel _Puzzarian," said MacGregor. "Get the lower trench evacuated, fall back, and concentrate all machine gun turrets on the enemy artillery. Hurry!"

"Yes, General. Thank you, General."

An explosion split the air behind MacGregor, startling him. Whipping around, he saw one of the Guns N' Roses artillery pieces in ruins. A few seconds later, an enemy shell destroyed another piece, with several other shells landing nearby.

"They're targeting our artillery!" he cried. He looked forward and saw that the machine gun turrets had taken out several Black Order artillery pieces, but it wasn't fast enough. The enemy still had more artillery than they did.

"We have no choice," Nitesco replied. "We must send the soldiers in the lower trench to attack the enemy artillery directly."

"We can't," said MacGregor. "They'll be massacred. It will be a bloodbath!"

"We have no choice," said Nitesco. "If we don't stop their artillery, they will destroy ours, demolish our fortifications, and gas us all to death. This will save far more lives."

"Very well," said MacGregor. Much as he hated it, Nitsesco was right. This was their only chance. He called on the radio again.

"Colonel Puzzarian, the previous order is countermanded. All troops from the lower trench are to charge the enemy artillery, and seize or destroy it at all hazard."

To MacGregor's surprise, Puzzarian did not complain. "Yes, General MacGregor. Those cannons will turn against the enemy, or they will burn. We will not fail."

**Down in the evacuating lowest trench, someone is very brave. Or very foolish. Not much different, if we're being honest.**

Puzzarian Ideal steeled his resolve. He knew this was likely a suicide mission, but this was his chance for glory. Odds of surviving the war were slim, so he might as well go out in a way that would save RUBES and cement him in the history books. And who knows, if he fought hard enough, maybe he'd survive!

"You heard the General," he told the troops. "We must stop that artillery. Capture it if we can, but destroy it if we must."

The soldiers looked uneasy. "This is suicide," one said. "We don't stand a chance," said another.

"Come on," said Puzzarian. "We _do _stand a chance. Our nation is as lovely as a rose, but with all the thorns! No matter how many times we're invaded, no one has broken our fierce highlander spirit! Those dogs and cats have nothing on us! As long as we show no fear, we cannot fail. They can't kill us if we kill them first. Now fix bayonets, and CHARGE!"

The soldiers gave a mighty battle cry as they readied their weapons, then charged at the Unauthorized Snuggles and Feline Utopia troops. Many were shot down immediately, but that did little to slow their attack. They continued to rush toward the enemy artillery, shooting and slashing anyone who got in their way.

Within minutes, Puzzarian reached the nearest Unauthorized Snuggles artillery piece. He shot two of the operators, and stabbed a third through the neck with his bayonet. His soldiers took care of the other three. Soon, they were rotating the gun to point at the Feline Utopia artillery a few dozen yards away.

"Take this!" Puzzarian shouted as he fired, demolishing an enemy cannon. He did not notice the figure behind him, slicing open his soldiers with her Shaska sword.

Puzzarian was about to fire again, but he felt something sharp poking his back. He turned around, and saw Tsarina pointing the guardless saber at him.

"Vat do you think you are doing?" she asked, though her body posture and tone of voice gave the impression that she wasn't really interested in discussion.

Puzzarian ducked as she swung, then tried to stab her from below the ribcage with his bayonet. She parried, and swung again. He blocked it with the barrel of his rifle.

They started swordfighting with the Shaska saber and the rifle bayonet. Puzzarian tried to get into a position to shoot her, but Tsarina would not allow it. Still, he was able to hold his own against her thrusts and slashes.

"Let this be known as the day that Puzzarian Ideal struck down the witch of the Black Order," he said.

"You are stubborn, but will die and be forgotten," Tsarina replied.

"If I die, I'm taking you with me!" Puzzarian shouted back. Their duel continued. Meanwhile, the Guns N' Roses soldiers from the outer trench had taken another artillery piece, and destroyed two others. Out of an initial twenty, only eight Black Order artillery pieces remained. Guns N' Roses still had seven out of twelve, not including the captured one.

At last, Puzzarian made a misstep, and Tsarina slashed him across the chest. He doubled over and cried out in pain.

Tsarina stood there and laughed. "My. Some hero you are."

A new rage and determination filled Puzzarian. While his enemy stood there laughing, he aimed his rifle at her and fired.

Unfortunately, it was too late. As he pulled the trigger, a knife plunged into his back, making him miss the shot.

"**Sorry about the wait**," said Generix, pulling the knife back out of Puzzarian's back and wiping it on his shirt. Behind him, the newly arrived Muppets troops were making short work of the Guns N' Roses troops who'd charged out of the trench.

"Velcome, my love," said Tsarina. She pulled Generix into an embrace and dipped him, kissing him deeply.

The Black Sphinx called out to them. "Get a room! And I _DON'T _mean the Command Tent!"

They separated. "**Nice to see you too, Sphinx**," said Generix.

"Well, yes," said Hoesack. "Not a moment too soon!"

"We are very glad you're here," said Sphinx. "This is indeed very fortunate timing. But please, keep the public displays of affection to a minimum."

**Up at the Guns N' Roses fortifications**

The RUBES commanders watched in horror as the tide turned against them once again. The desperate charge had been on the verge of capturing or destroying all the enemy artillery, but Generix and the Muppets army had showed up unexpectedly, outflanked the charging Guns N' Roses troops, and nearly wiped them out.

Now, the Black Order was shelling the last of the RUBES artillery to bits. They were taking some of the Black Order artillery with them, but it wasn't enough.

"I'm so sorry about this," said Nitesco. "I really thought that would work."

"Don't be," said Rosey. "If it weren't for their reinforcements, it would have."

"Our fortifications will be gone in minutes," said MacGregor. "As soon as the last of our artillery's gone, they'll blast this place to rubble and gas everyone."

"Then the only thing to do is send _everyone _to charge the enemy," said Austin. "They can't gas us if we're all mixed together. It will be a bloodbath, but we might be able to take the Black Order with us. I will join the attack."

"No," said Nitsesco. "This is not your nation, don't throw your life away for it. You and Peter need to get back to Armed & Ready, Petal to the Metal, and Go Ren. No more pitched battles, the Black Order is clearly superior in that aspect. We will not win that way."

"Then what must we do?" MacGregor asked. "I for one am staying here. This is my nation, I will do the most harm to the Black Order by staying here and defending it. And that is what I intend to do."

"And I," said Nitseco.

"I as well," said Rosey.

"But what will _we _do?" Austin asked. "Armed & Ready, Go Ren, and Petal to the Metal can't survive an assault like this, and we don't have enough troops to defeat them on the field."

"We won't," said Peter. "As Nitesco said, no more pitched battles. Our only hope is to leave everything behind, take everyone we can, and make a mad dash to the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine. Hopefully, we'll be able to outrun them and hold them off long to scrounge together a portal to an alternate timeline where we can summon help."

"Will that work?" Rosey asked. "That sounds awfully risky."

"It should," said Peter. "It's not as good what we originally planned, taking the ruins of the machine via traditional warfare and holding them until we can rebuild it completely, but this will have to do. The portal won't be permanent, but if we can keep it open long enough to connect to a timeline with a fully operating APCM, we will win the war."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Nitesco asked. "Go now, hurry! You need every second!"

"You're right," said Austin. "But shouldn't we say goodbye?"

"You can say hello again when you fix this mess," said Nitesco. "We'll hold them off as long as we can." He gave Austin a hug. "Now hurry! There's no time to lose!"

Peter and Austin saluted, then each left to grab a horse.

A Black Order shell hit the last Guns N' Roses artillery piece. More shells from the remaining five Black Order cannons began raining down on the stone fortifications.

"This is it," MacGregor said. "It's now or never!"

He, Nitseco, and Rosey all gripped each other's hands for a moment, then went to the innermost trench to lead them and those in the middle trench to charge. Behind them, a shell hit their ammunition supply, blasting their largest castle to oblivion.

As the Guns N' Roses soldiers all rose out of the trenches and charged, MacGregor realized someone was missing.

"Wait, where's Link?"

_Why didn't you think of that earlier? _Tanya's voice replied.

_Why didn't _you _think of that? _MacGregor thought back.

_I'm in your head. How can I think of anything you can't?_

The charging highland soldiers made for a spectacular and terrifying sight. But they were too late.

"Fire the gas!" Sphinx ordered. Long before they reached the Black Order lines, the shells full of sickly yellow fumes came raining down. None of the Guns N Roses soldiers had masks, they had given them all to the soldiers in the lower trench, who all died or were incapacitated when Muppets defeated their charge.

Within minutes, the entire Guns N' Roses army and leadership was lying on the hillside, twitching in agony and covered in blisters.

"We did it!" Sphinx shouted. He, Generix, Tsarina, and Hoesack held their hands up in the air while the troops cheered.

"Guns and Roses is no more!" Sphinx declared. "Now go finish them off! Tomorrow, we wipe their last and undefended ships from the map!" The troops cheered again, but a foghorn sounded in the background, drowning them out.

They all turned around, and their smiles turned to dread as they saw that their celebration was premature.

A troop transport and an aircraft carrier floated just a few miles away in the Crescent River, flying the banners of Arkos of Erusea.

Strike and Rosa flew from the aircraft carrier in new biplanes, and a squadron followed behind them. A ramp lowered from the troop transport, and an elephant and several horses walked out, followed by over a thousand ground troops.

Vulpix, Vaniellis, Celtic, Branwen, Generic, and even Metas and Exspiro sat atop the horses, while Blue Whale King rode the elephant. He held a trident in his hand, and wore a shiny Gold award and a newly redesigned Arkos Starfleet patch on his pristine uniform. The others were dressed in similar splendor, and were all armed to the teeth.

Up on the hillside, MacGregor, Nitesco, Rosey, and most of the Guns N' Roses troops started to stir. Soon, they would be pulling themselves up. Whatever additive was in the Mustard Gas at Snowflake Protection was not present this time, and they were still going to fight.

Sphinx, Tsarina, Generix, and Hoesack gulped as they saw that they were facing an attack on both sides.

Meanwhile, Link was finally getting out of bed in the last surviving building. His sleep deprivation was gone.

The Black Order was in for the worst fight in its life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Tragic Solitude's private island, after the fall of Mechanical Might**

The Black Sphinx and Hoesack carefully lifted Tragic's lifeless body from the surf.

"She's most certainly dead," said Hoesack. "I don't know what value her body has to us."

"Look at the beach," said Sphinx. "Look where we just lifted her from. See those crystals?"

"Yes, now that you point them out. Some look like Bragg, some D-Spair, but I don't recognize that green one."

"It's a new Bragg variant, my boy," said Sphinx. "All these were in her bloodstream. It's what accounts for her psychotic behavior. That new green one messes with time. Some of it must still be in her bloodstream. A dying brain uses everything it can to stay alive. It's possible that her brain is frozen in time at the moment of her death. You see?"

"Ahh," said Hoesack. "If we could revive her, she would be a powerful ally and weapon."

**A forest near the Black Order headquarters, during the fall of Ray of Sunshine**

"Let me get this straight," Blue Whale King said. "Generix didn't actually kill you, because you had Melanie's key, so you were able to merge with an alternate version of yourself who was never shot, barely saving you from death. And after recovering from your now less than lethal injury, you took Generix's place and kicked him to a distant alternate timeline, and the Black Order still doesn't know the difference."

"Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it," said Generic.

They both stood in the silent woods for several seconds.

"YOU IDIOT!' Whale shouted, backhanding Generic and sending him flying like a ragdoll.

"Ow," Generic said, rubbing his bruises as he got back up. "You gotta be so rough?"

"Believe me, if I wanted to be rough, I could have shattered your skeleton. But that's beside the point. Don't you realize what you've done?"

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop the Dust Alliance," Generic said. "There was nothing I could have done, I was badly injured."

"You merged with an otherwise identical alternate self to make your wound not lethal," Whale said. "Couldn't you have done that again, to hasten your recovery? Or, at the very least, couldn't you have sent us a warning? Even knowing that your evil alternate self was here at all would have been better than nothing. And why didn't you kill Generix when you had the chance?!"

"He came through some kind of crack in time that the ACPM explosion made, I don't know what he's capable of. For all I knew, killing him would only make things worse. At least this way, we can track where he is. As for the other stuff…"

Generic rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I honestly didn't think of it. I was pretty out of it. Sorry about that. I have a lot to make up for."

"Ugh," Whale groaned. "If you want to make it up to me, go and send all the slaves that Sphinx stole from my people back to Arkos."

"Consider it done," Generic said.

"To think I wanted to join the Black Order," Blue muttered to himself. "Unauthorized Snuggles really is a great meme ship. But I cannot abide what they're doing!"

He turned back to Generic. "Anyway, I have to get going."

"Going where? You just barely got back from the Core Worlds."

"Yes. And I have other people here I need to meet with, to take advantage of what I won (he flipped up the Gold award on his chest) and use it to win the war. I'll see you again soon."

**Black Order headquarters, before the fall of Snowflake Protection**

It had taken several days, but the process was finally complete. Tragic Solitude's body was functioning again. Her skin was damaged by the lack of bloodflow, so she still looked deathly pale and had many unusual bruises and scars, but she was alive. Her muscle mass had also been enhanced.

"Welcome, Tragic Solitude," said The Black Sphinx. "We have summoned your disembodied mind from the moment of your death in your timeline, to this body in this timeline. Generix here is also from your timeline."

"You may call me Tsarina," she said in a thick Russian accent, unlike the original Tragic. "I have not given you permission to use my real name, but I will work with you if it suits my interests."

"And what are your interests?" Hoesack asked.

"Simple. I want power. I want to feel the thrill of crushing a helpless opponent beneath my boot."

"Then it seems we were right to summon you," said Sphinx. "Help us win, and we'll let you do all the boot-stomping you want. We have plenty of enemies."

Hoesack tried not to look uncomfortable. That was _not_ what he'd signed up for, but he would have to tolerate their new ally until she outlived her usefulness.

Tsarina nodded. "And I vant one more thing," she said, looking at Generic. "I want to find the _real _Generix. I know him well, that is not him."

Everyone looked at Generic.

"Of course I'm the real Generix! Only he could pull off something as sinister and deceitful as this!"

He did that trick that made it look like he was separating a finger from his hand.

Everyone stared. Whatever credibility Generic had left after Tsarina's accusation, was destroyed in that moment. He bolted from the tent.

Tsarina jumped up from the operating table. "I vill hunt him down!" She stumbled and fell over as she tried to run.

"Not so fast, take it easy for a couple hours," said Sphinx. "Your body needs time to adjust. After that, we have a battle to win today. After _that_, you can hunt him down to your heart's content. Just make sure you get the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine key from him when you do."

**Ruins of the Fanfic Library, remains of r/RWBY's capital** **city**

The _Protect _and the recently restored _Eliminate _transformed into a troop transport and an aircraft carrier, respectively, as they entered the Anomaly field and landed in the river next to what was once the library.

Blue Whale King, Strike Freedom D'Elise, Rosa Cossette Freedom D'Elise, Chaos Vulpix, and Vaniellis walked out of the ships to meet those waiting at the ruins of the library.

"Welcome," said Exspiro V. Cremantam. "We have a lot to talk about." He, Metas M. Perivero, Celtic Crown, Branwen OSV, and Generic Usernaym XXI waited for the Arkosians.

"We all know why we're here," said Blue Whale King. "It's time to take the Black Order down once and for all. Thanks to Vaniellis, we finally have a chance to do that."

"It was nothing," said Vaniellis. "I was only doing my duty."

"Nothing?" Vulpix asked. "You saved me from the wreckage of the _Eliminate. _Not only that, you had the ship _and _the city of Arkos of Erusea rebuilt in an extraordinarily short time. You provided the force that can end this war."

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without Blue Whale King's financial boon from the Core Worlds," Vaniellis replied, ever humble.

"Speaking of, where exactly were you?" Generic asked Blue. "What did you do? You never told me."

"Or us," said Strike. "I think we've all been waiting for the answer to that."

"Oh gods, don't tell me you went to join the brigade on r/Area51," said Celtic.

"Or spent all that time Karma whoring on r/AskReddit," said Metas.

"Nonsense," said Blue. "Now that we're all here, I'll tell you if you let me. I went to represent the Kingdom of Blue Whales, the Nation of Arkos, and the RWBY sector of the Reddit Galaxy on the great canvas world of r/Layer. I got a Gold Award for my artistic efforts."

"So _that's _where you got all that cash from!" Vaniellis exclaimed.

"Yes, and this medal."

Strike ran over and hugged him. "I _knew _you'd never run off for something meaningless!"

"We _all _had a part to play in reviving Arkos of Erusea," said Rosa. "Now we should hear their stories."

"The Rodents kicked us out of our turtle hole," said Celtic. "And this seems as good of a cause as any."

Branwen nodded. "It really was quite rude of them. We were just minding our own business, when this swarm of rats and mice comes and kicks us out of our base."

"Which was really just a cave," said Celtic. "What about you?" He turned to Metas and Exspiro. "I thought you were working against RUBES, and aggressively neutral, respectively."

"RUBES is far better than the Black Order," said Metas. "I tried attacking RUBES separate from the Black Order, but now I recognize that the Black Order needs to go down, and RUBES is my only chance of doing that. So I'll help you help them."

"Objectivity lost," said Esxpiro. "I know now that I cannot leave things to fate, if I care at all about the outcome. And I realized that I _do _care. I want my library back."

"Did any of it survive the fire?" Strike asked.

"Not much," Exspiro replied. "A few good stories, but unfortunately, the entire Coeur Al'Aran collection survived."

"Damn, that's a shame," said Whale.

"I'm just working to make things right from what my alternate self did," said Generic. "Especially now that Tsarina stole the APCM key from me."

"She did WHAT?!" Whale exclaimed.

"The point is," said Metas, "we ALL want the Black Order destroyed. None of us are getting what we need until it falls."

Blue Whale King stuck his rubbery hand out in front of him. It was gray blue on the top, like most of his skin, but unlike the rest of him, it was white on the underside.

"What's this?" Exspiro asked.

"I think I know," said Rosa.

"There is something I want to share with you. Being a member of the Nation of Arkos not a matter of where you're born. And what gods you ship together is only a part of it. There's a sum of knowledge. A shared history, and a shared suffering. Most importantly, we have a code, an oath. I'm not going to ask you to swear it as well. But before this battle begins, I want to share it with you."

"Here we go," said Generic.

Strike, Vulpix, and Vaniellis stepped forward and put their hands on top of Whale's.

"We will not attack out of spite," said Strike, "nor allow ourselves to be attacked."

"We will defend Arkos and our allies in all contests," said Vulpix.

"We will never give up the love of our ship, nor give in to the haters," said Vaniellis.

"And most of all," said Blue Whale King, "we will be the ship that makes people better, as Jaune and Pyrrha did for each other. We will stand up for all that is wholesome."

"Never cruel or cowardly," they all said in unison. "Never give up, never give in. Be the ship that makes people better."

Celtic, Branwen, Rosa, Metas, and Exspiro all looked at each other.

"We are not Arkosians," said Metas.

"Not all of us even like Arkos," said Exspiro.

"At least, not anymore," said Generic.

"But we cannot look down on these ideals," said Rosa.

"So just for this battle, for the sake of RUBES," said Celtic,

"We will swear it with you," Branwen finished.

All ten of them put their hands together.

"Never cruel or cowardly," they all said in unison, this time, not just the Arkosians. "Never give up, never give in. Be the ship, no, the people, who make people better."

"For RUBES," said Generic. "For RUBES," the others repeated.

And they set out to battle.

**At the Battle of Guns N' Roses**

MacGregor knew nothing but darkness and pain. His whole body burned like nothing he'd ever felt before. He couldn't sense his surroundings, or remember what he was doing. It seemed like the end.

_MacGregor Rose, I am not letting you go out like a bitch, _said Tanya's voice in his head. _You are not dead yet. Not even close. Now get up and show those mangy cats what you're made of!_

"Five more minutes," he muttered. "Can't move, it hurts…"

_What they'll do next will hurt more, if you just lay there. Now get up and fight! It's time I told you about the greatest moment in the history of the Great War."_

**Just above the Battle of Guns N' Roses**

Link emerged from the last surviving building in Guns N' Roses complex of stone castles and walls. He'd slept much longer than he meant to, but due to his previous exhaustion and sleep deprivation, it was hardly a surprise. It was much more surprising that he'd managed to sleep through much of the battle, with its many loud explosions. It was only when the artillery ammunition cache exploded and demolished the main castle that it finally awoke Link.

He climbed through the rubble, finding no one. The sounds of battle were much quieter than expected.

As he finally reached the ridge, he saw why. The Guns N' Roses artillery was gone. The trenches were deserted. With the fortifications destroyed, the Black Order had nothing to fire their remaining artillery at. And worst of all, thousands of Guns N' Roses soldiers lay twitching or motionless on the hillside below the trenches, with the dissipating stench of mustard gas still floating about them. Their skin was covered with lesions and blisters, like bubble wrap from hell. Nobody was firing.

Link groaned in despair. It seemed the battle was over, the Black Order had won. He would have to flee to the remaining RUBES territory and find some last desperate gambit to save them from getting wiped out. As far as he could tell, Link was the only survivor. He could only hope that some of his friends had fled the battlefield and were alive elsewhere.

Link looked at the enemy troops, hoping they hadn't seen him, and noticed something odd. The Black Order soldiers were turning their five remaining artillery pieces around, to face away from the Guns N' Roses highlands. Why? What was the point?

Link looked out at the river, and saw two ships floating on it. However, since it was several miles away, he couldn't make out whose flag they flew.

Swallowing his disgust, Link looked down at the field of corpses, trying to find a pair of binoculars. After a few minutes of searching, he found one and picked it up.

As he tried to focus them on the ships on the river, Link heard a raspy voice from below him.

"Give those back," it muttered. "Birthday present from my sister."

"Hold on," Link replied, "I need to see whose ships are on the river." He did a double take, and looked down. The blistered corpse he'd taken the binoculars from was stirring. The face was mangled, but Link recognized the uniform.

"MacGregor?! You're alive?"

"Yeah," the not-quite-dead MacGregor responded, sitting up. He coughed, spitting up blood. "Looks like they forgot their nerve agent. Or ran out." Link could barely recognize his voice.

Link wasn't sure how to respond. He wasn't stupid enough to ask if MacGregor was all right, and expressing relief that he was alive might end up being premature.

At last, he said, "So what now?"

MacGregor managed to stand up, after coughing again. "Now, you give me those so I can see the ships on the river you mentioned."

"Oh right," Link said, and handed the binoculars back. MacGregor winced as they touched the blisters on his hands, but he was able to focus them and see what was on the river.

"It's Arkos of Erusea! They're back!"

"What?! Let me see!"

MacGregor handed the binoculars to Link, who looked and saw the ships clearly. He saw Strike and Rosa's squadron fly up from the aircraft carrier, while Blue Whale King, Vulpix, Vaniellis, Celtic, Generic, Branwen, and even Metas and Exspiro disembarked from the troop transport on an elephant and horses, respectively.

"They came back!" Link exclaimed. "They actually came back!" He gave the binoculars back to MacGregor.

"Now the Black Order is pinched," said MacGregor. Link looked around, and saw that many of the "dead" soldiers and officers, including Nitesco and Rosey, were also stirring and standing up.

"Wait, you don't mean… Can you really fight like this?"

"As long as we can move and hold a weapon, we can fight. We swore to defend Guns N' Roses to the very end. And we'll be twice as deadly. Nobody expects an Attack of the Dead Men."

"And women," Rosey added.

"I'll be right with you," said Link. "But do you know where Peter and Austin went? Are they around here somewhere?"

"No," said Nitesco. "They went to get everyone from Armed & Ready, Petal to the Metal, and Go Ren to race to the APCM while we hold off the Black Order."

"Damn, I should have gone with them," said Link. "I broke the ACPM, so I should help fix it! Unless you need me more here."

"They only left a few minutes ago, but they were going as fast as they could. I don't know if you'll be able to catch them."

"Then I'm going to fight my way through, and get a pilot to fly me there," said Link. "I won't go through Go Ren, Armed & Ready, or Petal to the Metal. I'll go straight to the machine."

"Then I guess you'll have to join our charge," said MacGregor. "It's an honor fighting with you."

"Likewise," said Link.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Nitesco asked. "CHAAAARGE!"

And the Dead Soldiers plus Link attacked.

**Man, I **_**hate **_**this part. Back with the Black Order:**

"Those men should be dead!" Sphinx shouted.

"And women," said Tsarina.

"We used up all our nerve agent at Snowflake Protection," said Hoesack. "We only had the regular mustard gas left. I tried to warn you."

"But they still should not be in fighting condition," said Sphinx. "And Arkos of Erusea should be dead too. Vulpix should be dead. Whale should be dead. Generic should be dead. Tsarina, why did you not kill Generic when you took the key?!"

"I had to infiltrate their camp and steal it from his bed while he slept," Tsarina said. "If I had killed him, I would have been discovered."

"And no one saw you on your way out, correct?" Sphinx asked.

Tsarina bowed her head in shame, telling Sphinx and the others everything they needed to know.

"Ugh. Celtic and his friend should be dead. Metas and Exspiro should be dead for betraying us. Everybody attacking us is supposed to be dead!"

"**That's a lot of people who should be dead**," said Generix.

"WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY THE DEAD?!" Sphinx yelled.

"**Their deaths will stick soon enough**," said Generix. "**We defeated them before, we'll do it again. We just need to keep fighting!**"

As the dead men (and women) charged from Guns N' Roses, those at Arkos of Erusea shouted with megaphones.

**At zombie Arkos- Hey!** **Fine, sorry. At Arkos of Erusea revived**

"Black Order scum!" shouted Blue Whale King, "Today, the blood of many a valiant Redditor and Meme Ship shall be avenged. In the names of the gods, we shall not stop our fight until your cult is a bad memory, and peace and sanity restored to these lands!'

"The proud name of Generic will be reclaimed! You will not steal my legacy!" shouted Generic. "We will set the timelines right!"

"For every book burned, one of your soldiers shall fall!" yelled Exspiro. "I will make parchment from your skins to remake my library! Even if it means the Coeur Al'Aran works survive!" The other shuddered.

"You burned those yourself!" Hoesack shouted back.

"Irrelevant!"

"Your evil and villainy end today," said Metas. "I will repair the wrongs I have committed with you!"

"For Arkos!" shouted Vulpix.

"No matter how many times we fall, we will always get back up again!" shouted Vaniellis.

"You will never kick us out of another turtle hole!" Celtic yelled.

"For the turtles!" Branwen added.

"To hell with the turtles!" Sphinx called back.

"NO ONE MESSES WITH THE TURTLES!" Celtic and Branwen screamed. "CHARGE!"

"Burn the Black Order to the ground!" Strike and Rosa called from their planes.

And Arkos of Erusea charged.

**At Petal to the Metal**

The lands of Petal to the Metal, Armed & Ready, and Go Ren were peaceful and idyllic. Everyone worked hard to provide materials for the war, and many of the able-bodied men and women had gone to fight, but there had been relatively few attacks on them.

Their pastoral landscape of farms, forests, and suburbs, with the occasional factory or city, seemed like bait to be ravaged by an invasion force.

So, naturally, they were reluctant to send what few soldiers they had left away from guarding their homes.

"I'm telling you," said Kaboom CDLXV, son of the late Kaboom CDLXIV and former Magistrate of Hot Wheels, now of Petal to the Metal, "we can't spare anyone else. You've gotten enough of our soldiers killed, including my father, the founder of Hot Wheels. We need what we have left to defend our land, or we'll be sitting ducks."

"And _I'm_ telling _you_," said Peter, "you'll be sitting ducks anyway. No matter what fortifications we build, no matter how secure our bases, no matter how powerful our armies, no matter what we do, the Black Order finds a way to crush our defenses. If the highland fortresses of Guns N' Roses could not withstand them, you'll have no chance whatsoever, even if every soldier RUBES ever had was here."

"Then what's the point of sending our few remaining soldiers with you? They'll only be killed anyway. We'd all much rather die here, defending our homes, than in some hellish mudhole out there."

"Because we're changing our strategy," said Austin. "We're not trying to fight them head-on anymore. If we can get to the ruins of the APCM before they realize what we're doing, we can set this entire mess right."

"And why should we trust you anymore?" Kaboom asked. "You may be the leader of the Cargo Clan, but you couldn't stop Feline Utopia, Sugar Overcharge, or Muppets from defecting to the Black Order, or the fall of I Drink Milk, Sugar Overload, or Snowflake Protection."

Austin sighed, knowing that this was neither the first nor the last time he'd be faced with complaints like that.

"_I _trust Austin," said Alfonse, who'd finally joined them from Go Ren. "These losses were not his fault. Without him, the Black Order would have crushed you long ago. This strategy is our only hope to win, and there's not much time. If we don't get to the APCM before the Black Order realizes what we're doing, we're doomed."

Kaboom thought for a moment, and sighed. "Very well. I trust _you,_ Alfonse. Austin, Peter, do not let this strategy fail. Take all the troops you want, but I'm staying here until the end."

"Thank you," said Peter.

"We won't let you down," said Austin.

Peter, Austin, Alfonse, and the couple hundred troops they managed to gather from their three remaining ships all boarded horses, cars, and tanks, and set out immediately. Leaving the last peaceful places behind and almost completely undefended, they headed back into the ruined world to find the ruins of the APCM.

**At the last great battle of the war**

The armies of Arkos of Erusea, Feline Utopia, Unauthorized Snuggles, Muppets, and Guns N' Roses filled the miles-wide plain between the Guns N' Roses highlands and the Crescent River. For once the Black Order was on the defensive, as Arkos of Erusea attacked from the river and the Dead Army of Guns N' Roses attacked from the hills on the other side.

There were no trenches or fortifications this time. There was no time to make them. Now, it was just masses of soldiers shooting, stabbing, and slashing at each other on an open plain. Biplanes strafed soldiers from above, while cavalry trampled them below.

Link shot, stabbed, and slashed through the mass of Black Order soldiers with his rifle and bayonet, trying to find a path through them to reach the Arkos of Erusea lines. If he could do that, he could get a ride to the ruins of the APCM.

MacGregor, Nitseco, and Rosey fought beside him. Their ferocious war cries with raspy voices, combined with their blistered and bleeding faces, made them truly terrifying.

"This is getting nowhere," said Link, shouting over the din of the battle. "Peter might need my help to make that portal, I'm the only one alive besides him with that kind of technical expertise!"

"Celtic has it too," said Nitesco, "but I see your point. We'll try to find a way for you."

A shell exploded nearby, sending pieces of Guns N' Roses soldiers flying.

"We need to take out their artillery!" shouted Rosey.

"Then let's kill two birds with one stone," MacGregor replied. "We'll attack their artillery, and when they rush to defend it, Link will be able to find a path through."

"Let's do it then," Nitesco said. "GUNS N' ROSES, TAKE OUT THEIR ARTILLERY! CHARGE!"

The mass of zombie-like soldiers turned away from most of the Feline Utopia troops, to focus on the ones defending the artillery. Within minutes, one of the artillery pieces fell. The other Feline Utopia troops rushed to defend the four remaining cannons.

As they cleared away, Link saw the Arkos of Erusea cavalry fighting the Unauthorized Snuggles troops.

"Generic!" Link called.

"Hey Link," the cyan-haired horseman called back. "It's great to see you again, but I'm kinda busy." His horse reared up and neighed as an Unauthorized Snuggles soldier shot it in the shoulder. The armor made the shot less than lethal, but it was still painful for the horse, who kicked the man's head in. Generic continued shooting and slashing at the other troops.

"It's important," Link replied. "I need to borrow a horse, or a plane, or something to get me to the APCM. And quickly."

"Whatever for?" Generic turned his horse away from a squad of soldiers shooting at it, and came back around to trample them. Link rushed forward, and shot the surviving soldier who was about to shoot Generic.

"Do you really want me to tell you where the enemy can hear?" Link said.

"He's got a point," Celtic yelled from a dozen yards away.

"Quiet, you," Generic shouted back.

"You can just tell us when this is over," Exspiro added.

"Is everyone eavesdropping?" Generic asked.

"No, not me," said an Unauthorized Snuggles soldier.

"Thanks, much appreciated," Generic replied, before stabbing him with his bayonet.

Meanwhile, Corporal Yargama Frag of Unauthorized Snuggles quietly snuck off to find her superiors.

"If none of you can help me," Link said, "I'll just keep looking." He went past Generic, dodging Arkos of Erusea soldiers and horses until he came behind the line, next to the troop transport on the river.

Link walked up the ramp and looked around. All the planes were too far away to hear him. Looking to the left, he saw that Vulpix, Vaniellis, and Whale had mostly cleared the enemy troops from their area, and were moving across an empty plain to regroup with the others.

Link ran back down the ramp, along the river bank, elbowed his way back through the soldiers, and sprinted across the plain to reach them.

"Hey!" he shouted. "I need help making things right!"

Vulpix pulled up the reigns of his horse and wheeled back around, while Vaniellis and Whale charged into the enemy line, stabbing, shooting, and trampling soldiers as they went.

"What is it?" Vulpix asked. "It must be important."

**With the Black Order leaders**

"Are you sure that's what you heard?" Sphinx asked. "They're headed for the APCM?"

"Yes," Yargama Frag replied. "Link may have already procured a ride by now."

"But why would he go alone?" Hoesack asked. "He wouldn't be able to do much by himself. And he sounded like he was in a hurry, from what you said. So that means-"

"That someone else is probably already on their way," said Sphinx. "No wonder we haven't seen any sign of Peter or Austin here!"

"I'll go after them," said Yargama.

"Sorry, no," said Sphinx. "You're still inexperienced."

Yargama looked down in disappointment.

"But don't worry, your chance will come. And we need you here," said Hoesack. Yargama Frag went back to the battlefield.

"Tsarina, get to the ruins of the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine with all possible haste," said Sphinx. "Stop them from making a portal, no matter what it takes. This is your most important mission yet."

"Yes," said Tsarina. "I vill not let you down." She saluted, and ran off.

**Back with Link, again**

"You want me to _what?_" Whale asked, spearing an enemy soldier with his trident from atop the elephant. "I have the highest endurance, you need me here."

"Whoever takes him will become a target," said Vulpix. "And this is more important."

Just then, Tsarina jumped up and knocked Vaniellis off his horse. She grabbed the reins and took off into the desolate fields, with a dozen Black Order soldiers on other stolen horses following.

"Gahh!" Vaniellis shouted as he fell. "Now they're onto us!"

"There's no time to argue," said Vulpix. "You need to go after them _now!"_

Blue charged with his elephant to stop the enemy soldiers from killing Vaniellis while he was down. "Elephants aren't fast enough long distance to catch up with them, and I'm too heavy to ride a horse, even in this form. And I certainly can't run that fast myself! You go, Vulpix."

"I don't care who takes me," said Link. "They need my help, and fast!"

"I'll get myself and Link shot full of holes like swiss cheese if I go," said Vulpix. "Whoever does is going to be a target. And Whale, you're the only one who can take the hits and shield Link! We're wasting time!"

"I can't get there fast enough," Whale said. "Like I told you-"

Just then, an artillery shell landed near Whale, filling his elephant with shrapnel. The elephant fell to its knees, spilling blood and trumpeting in agony.

"Last Baiji, NO!" Whale cried. He dismounted and started stroking the elephant's trunk.

"Blue, there is a way," said Vaniellis. "That experimental form you were telling me about."

"Oh, that," Whale said, as Last Baiji the elephant leaned his head on his shoulder. Whale withstood the elephant's weight easily. "That form isn't stable for very long, it's still unfinished."

"Will it even work in this Anomaly field?" Link asked.

"Since my regular humanoid form does, it should," said Whale.

"Then we need to try, and fast!" said Link. "It sounds like it's our only hope, whatever it is."

"Very well," said Whale. "You might want to stand back."

Moments later, everyone on the battlefield looked up in shock and disbelief.

**On the barren plains**

Peter, Austin, Alphonse, and the remaining soldiers of Armed & Ready, Go Ren, and Petal to the Metal rode across the hard baked mud and dust of battlefields past. They went around half-flooded trenches, bones, and the remains of tanks, planes, cars, and artillery as they crossed the ugly devastation the war had left behind. Before long, they had left the old battlefields behind, and entered the outskirts of what was once the planet's capital.

"Excuse me," a soldier said. "Someone's following us."

"Friend or foe?" Austin asked.

"Hopefully friend," said Alfonse.

"That's no friend," Peter said. "Everyone, ride faster! Tanks, switch to your highest gear!"

In the distance, Tsarina rode at the head of her company with her saber extended, driving her stolen horse faster than it had ever ran in its life. The murderous gleam in her eyes was visible from miles away.

But even farther in the distance, just leaving the battlefield, they saw something unbelievable.

**As if Blue's self-aggrandizing wasn't bad enough! I can't believe-** **Hey, stop that! Fine, I'll quit complaining! At least you're self-aware about it.**

"Hold on tight," said Blue Whale King, his voice booming across the battlefield. He was transformed into Kaiju Mode, a combination of his humanoid form and his full-sized Blue Whale form. 92 feet long and 60 feet tall, with both tail, legs, and arms. He picked up Link in one hand, then went and grabbed Generic in his other.

"Hey! Put me down!"

"You have technical knowledge too," Whale said, "I'm bringing you along."

"Fine," Generic said, "but don't squeeze so hard!"

Blue Whale King dashed out into the plain, running at over 20 knots. Many of the leaders and soldiers on both sides followed, including Strike and Rosa's planes.

The final race was on.


	16. Chapter 16

**At last, we come to the final battle.**

"All artillery, fire on that monster!" Sphinx shouted, pointing at the Kaiju Blue Whale King running across the plain. Unfortunately for the Black Order, he was well out of range by the time they were able to aim the cannons at him.

"**It would take dozens,** **if not hundreds, of small arms firing to bring him down,**" said Generix. "**We need to send **_**everyone**_ **we have in pursuit. We can only hope we'll overtake them before they finish what they're doing with the ACPM.**"

"Then what are we waiting for?" Hoesack asked. "Everyone, after him!"

"All troops, pursue the Blue Whale King!" Sphinx shouted with the megaphone. He, Generix, and Hoesack did not delay in following their own directive. Within minutes, the vast host of Muppets, Feline Utopia, and Unauthorized Snuggles was moving away to pursue the receding form of the Kaiju Whale.

Vulpix, Vaniellis, Metas, Celtic, Exspiro, and Branwen were too far away to hear the order, but the troops they were fighting followed their comrades and left their fights behind.

"I don't believe it," said Exspiro. "They're retreating, we've won!"

"No you fool," said Metas. "They're after the ACPM! They're onto us!"

"If they take it," said Celtic, "we lose the war. They'll summon nigh unlimited reinforcements."

"We can't let that happen!" Branwen cried.

"Obviously," said Vulpix. He pulled out his own megaphone. "All troops, after them!"

Vaniellis climbed on Generic's now unoccupied horse, and they all rode after the Black Order. The Arkos of Erusea troops followed.

But one contingent of Feline Utopia troops lingered, slowed down by the two remaining artillery pieces. They struggled, uncoordinated, as their commanding officer had fallen. Corporal Yargama Frag, who was bringing up the rear of Unauthorized Snuggles, went back for them.

"Stop trying to move these," she ordered, as she arrived at the cannons and the soldiers struggling to push them through the mud. "Aim them at the ships and the cavalry."

**With the moving armies**

As the Arkos of Erusea riders approached the moving Black Order forces, some of the enemy forces turned around and fired on the cavalry. Several horses and riders fell, including Metas, Exspiro, Celtic and Branwen.

"NO! Vulpix shouted, and spurred his horse on even faster. He stabbed, slashed, and shot his way through over a score of Black Order soldiers, killing a path to their leaders.

"Generix, go stop him!" Sphinx said.

"**With pleasure**," Generix replied, turning around and drawing his rifle. He shoved his way past dozens of his troops, until he came face to face with Vulpix.

"You murdered my old friend!" Vulpix shouted. "And my new friends! Prepare to die!"

"**Technically, that was my troops. Though I'll gladly take the credit.**" Before Vulpix could dodge, he jumped up and knocked him off his horse. Both men fell to the ground, trading punches.

"**So you're the legendary Chaos Vulpix,**" Generix said. "**You used to be feared and renowned throughout the RWBY Sector. You and Celtic terrorized the Subreddit for months in Ship Survivor I, the great war to begin them all. Now look where you are! Celtic's been shot down like a duck, and you've become subservient to a pompous oversized dolphin, a mercenary from r/AceCombat, and now, some newcomer!**"

Vulpix roared, punching Generix in the face and kneeing him in the groin. While his opponent cried out in agony, Vulpix got back up and recovered his rifle. He fired at Generix, but he rolled out of the way, and also got back on his feet, grabbing his own rifle on the way up.

They started swordfighting with their rifle bayonets, each trying to get an opening to shoot the other.

"**Is that the best you can do? How pathetic! How disappointing!**"

"I have always fought for the good of the Subreddit, misguided as I was at the beginning," said Vulpix. "But you only care about causing chaos and destruction. You give speeches about the flaws of our systems, but you're only looking for an excuse and to get under our skin. You have nothing to replace them with!"

He thrusted at Generix's face, slicing his right cheek.

"**You'll pay for that!**" Generix swung back. Vulpix had overextended, and was unable to dodge or parry in time. Generix's bayonet sliced through Vulpix's wrist, leaving his hand hanging by a flap of skin. Vulpix cried out and agony and sank to his knees, dropping his weapon.

"**Goodbye, false chaos.**" Generix sliced open Vulpix's throat, then shot him through the heart, and left him to bleed out.

**At the artillery and ships**

"FIRE!" Yargama Frag shouted. A volley of shells rained down on the troop transport and aircraft carrier, blowing craters in their hulls and decks, and setting them ablaze.

"The ships, NO!" Vaniellis cried. He turned his horse around and charged the artillery, firing his rifle as he went.

Yargama's violet eyes widened as she saw the charging Arkosian. "Quick, re-aim," she ordered the other artillery operators. Just before he reached them, Vaniellis's horse was blown away, and he along with it. Vulpix and Vaniellis met their ends at roughly the same time.

_**Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more, that bloody Strike Freedom was rolling up the score, eighty men died in that brutal attack, of the bloody Strike Freedom from Ace Combat.**_

Strike and Rosa looked down in horror at Vulpix and Vaniellis's deaths, and at the burning of the ships. They circled their planes around from following Blue Whale King to make a strafing run, but passed over the artillery as they saw the Guns N' Roses leaders making a charge on it. They flew over the moving armies, firing into the Black Order troops.

They overshot Generix, but they kept going. Sphinx and Hoesack looked over their shoulders in terror at the planes flying with the sun behind them, the bullets whizzing ever closer.

They tried to run, but it was no use. Hoesack and Sphinx felt the bullets ripping through their bodies, and collapsed to the ground. Their soldiers fired at the planes as they resumed their course to follow Whale, but it was too late for Sphinx and Hoesack.

There was surprisingly little pain, for the first several seconds anyway. Just shock and the wet sensation of blood.

"This… this was not supposed to happen," Sphinx said, and coughed up blood. "But it's all, it's all up to Generix and Tsarina now. They will have to… c-carry out our ideals."

Hoesack scoffed, or rather tried to, but his throat filled with blood as well. He spat it out. "Not- not supposed to happen," (he coughed) "indeed. I never liked them. Never liked, never liked either of them. I wanted to spr-spread the love of the g-goddess Blake. Not brutalize the Subreddit. I-I thought your methods were necessary. B-but even if they are, if Generix and Tsarina are all that's lepft," (he spat up more blood), "All that's left, then the Black Order really has become the villains. Gods damn us all."

He let out a huge gap of exhaustion, just from saying all that in his conditions.

Soon, the remaining soldiers had all either been mutually killed with the rest of the Arkos of Erusea troops, or taken orphaned horses and ridden off to join Generix and Tsarina.

"My… my only regret," Sphinx replied,"is not winning. I d-did it my way!" He managed to put pride into his voice. "I just wish, just wish I had been more successful."

And neither of them spoke again.

**Did I ever mention I hated this part? Back with the Guns N' Roses troops:**

MacGregor, Nitesco, and Rosey also watched in rage as Yargama Frag fired on the ships and killed Vaniellis. But their strength was waning. They had fought too long and hard for their bodies to sustain with their injuries.

_One last charge, _said Tanya's voice in MacGregor's head. _We'll take them down with us. The Black Order will never fire shells at anyone again. And history will long remember Guns N' Roses' heroic last stand._

"I don't want to die," MacGregor muttered.

_Nobody does, _Tanya replied. _But it may be too late already. Just make it count. Heroes live on long after their lifetimes. And remember, in strange eons, even death may die._

MacGregor steeled his resolve for one last attack. "Come on," he told Rosey, Nitesco, and his remaining soldiers. "One last charge." He coughed a dry and raspy cough. His voice was running out.

"One last charge," said Nitesco. "For Guns N' Roses and RUBES."

"For Guns N' Roses and RUBES," said Rosey.

And they charged at the two remaining Black Order artillery pieces and their associated troops. Yargama Frag turned one of them around and fired, taking out over a dozen more soldiers, but it was not enough. Before she could fire again, the Dead Men (and women) were on them.

"You don't know when to give up," Yargama said, drawing her saber to block MacGregor's slash. "You should have been dead hours ago, if not long before."

"As if death could stop us," MacGregor choked out. As they dueled, Yargama had the fleeting thought that none of this was worth it, and that if her enemies were going to fight _that _hard to stop them, then the Black Order's cause might not be as righteous as she thought. But it was far too late to turn back now, so she quashed her doubts and kept fighting the zombie-like general.

In a rare moment of parity, they both saw an opening, and took it. But now, they each found the other's sword run through their chest. They fell to the ground, bleeding out on top of each other in a cruel mockery of an embrace.

Seconds later, Rosey and Nitesco reached the other artillery piece, and ignited the ammo. It went up in a tremendous explosion, erasing the artillery, and the last living soldiers from that part of the battlefield.

All that was left was a vast field of corpses, two burning ships, and the rubble of once proud castles, while the survivors raced away.

Guns N' Roses and the Black Order had both been broken.

**This is the true nature of war. There is no escaping it. So why not have some fun while you're there?**

Peter, Austin, and Alfonse looked back at the ever-approaching Tsarina and her group of riders. Generix had joined her, having stolen Vulpix's horse. Blue Whale King ran after them in Kaiju mode, Link and Generic in his hands, but his top speed of 26 knots was only barely fast enough for the horses not to leave him in the dust. Strike and Rosa also followed in their planes, but the Black Order soldiers had damaged them and shot down all their squadron mates.

As the minutes turned to hours, the horses and the Whale following them grew tired and slowed down, but the overall trajectory did not change. Tsarina and Generix were still gaining, and Blue Whale King could not close the distance between them.

"Hey Whale," Generic asked, "How long is this form stable for?"

"Good question," Whale said. "Last time I tried, it lasted for 8 hours, but it's possible that exertion might shorten the time…"

"That's great," said Link. "So for all we know, you might change back any second, and we'll plummet from 45 feet up."

"There would be enough warning to put you down," Whale replied, "But we can only hope I won't need it."

Miles ahead, from where Whale was just barely visible on the horizon, the remaining RUBES troops and leaders were growing more and more uneasy.

"I must admit," said Alfonse, "This does not look good."

"We'll be able to hold them off long enough to make the portal," said Peter. "The alternative is unthinkable."

"The Church of Thorns still reigns supreme in Yukon's world," said Austin. "We'll have to deal with them in Ship Survivor in a few months, when we experience their world. Even if we lose here too, there will always be another chance."

"But who knows how much time will have passed in that world by the time the Anomaly Surge starts again," Peter said. "It could be months, years, even decades. No way to know until it happens. I don't want any more worlds to suffer any longer. Especially this one."

"We can still win," said Alfonse, trying to regain his once contagious optimism. "We still outnumber them."

"That's true," said Austin. "We just have to keep fighting and not give up."

**Up in the sky**

Strike and Rosa continued following Blue Whale King, their biplanes slowly but surely catching up. They could see Tsarina's cavalry miles ahead, the RUBES forces miles beyond that, and, on the far horizon, the ruins of the capital city where the remains of the APCM were.

They wished they could talk to each other, but they would've had to shout, and they needed to save their energy for the fight ahead. The Catastrophe over a month ago had been a terrible disaster, with many friends lost, but the battle today was almost as bad. MacGregor, Nitesco, Rosey, Celtic, Branwen, Metas, Exspiro, Vulpix, and Vaniellis, gone in one fell swoop. At least they'd taken Sphinx, Hoesack, and Yargama Frag with them.

**After tedious hours of walking, running, riding, and flying, retracing the path Tragic Solitude took on that first day:**

"We're almost there," Peter said. "We're entering the outskirts of the capital. Or what's left of it."

Austin, Alfonse, and the soldiers looked around in horror. Besides Peter, none of them had been closer to the ruins than the Cemetery of the Deleted, which was far from any major structures besides the underground Fanfic Library. Most of them didn't anticipate the level of devastation. They expected to see many buildings in ruins, in various states of collapse or being blown over, but there wasn't a single standing wall left. The blast wave had flattened the city, turning the skyscrapers into heaps.

The stench of death wafted on the air, but it was fading. There were no scavengers. No crows, vultures, insects, or coyotes. There was nothing left for them, only bones. The skies above were gray. The once bustling and crowded city was now a silent field of rubble and ash, seemingly devoid of all life.

Shots rang out, breaking the gloomy silence. Tsarina, Generix, and their group of several dozen riders had finally come within shooting distance.

"Just a little farther!" Peter said.

"I assume you can find the way?" Austin asked.

"Yes, even with the state of things. I can already sense the Bragg and D-Spair, and use that to lead my way. But there's something else I can feel, too…"

"Is it those psychos shooting at us?" a soldier asked. Indeed, the remaining Black Order forces were firing at them, and they'd already managed to pick off a couple dozen of the roughly 200 remaining RUBES soldiers. The RUBES forces had concentrated on fleeing, not fighting, so they'd only killed three Black Order riders in return. They had tanks, but with very limited ammo.

"It's that way," Peter said, pointing to a heap of rubble to the left. "Just over that rise. We can make it!"

Soon after turning, they all felt the conflicting effects of Bragg, D-Spair, the mysterious third variant, and all the hybrids in between. Any one of them could have found their way to the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine ruins blindfolded by following the source of those sensations.

A hundred feet later, they found it. The underground chamber with the roof blown off, and the heaps of broken machinery and crystal fragments at the bottom.

Melanie Antiqua's body was still there, but it was only a bleached skeleton. The white bones were made brighter by the single ray of sunshine that shone on them.

**The Black Order aren't the only ones catching up:**

At last, Link reached the rest of RUBES, with himself and Generic clutched in Whale's rubbery blue and white hands. But they had to go through the Black Order cavalry first. RUBES had set up their tanks above the pit, but they'd used up what little ammo they had on killing several riders. Dozens still remained, locked in a vicious firefight.

"I'm exhausted," said Blue Whale King, "But I'll try to make one last sprint to get you to the APCM. I don't know how far I make it, but promise me you will get to making that portal as quickly as possible, and not look back."

Link and Generic both hesitated, but finally said, "I promise."

"All right," Whale said. "Brace yourselves."

He took off running again, shaking the ground and grabbing the attention of the Black Order soldiers. Many of them turned and started firing at him. A single shot was nothing but a pinprick, but hundreds of them added up, especially with the exhaustion. Death of a thousand cuts.

"Almost there," Whale said, kicking Black Order soldiers and horses out of the way as he ran, blood running down his body. A couple of the enemies threw grenades at him, blasting off chunks of flesh large enough to feed whole families.

"Will you be all right?" Link yelled over the sounds of battle.

"I told you, don't worry about me," Blue replied. "You have a job to do."

"He'll be all right," said Generic, "he's been through worse." What Generic _didn't _say, and was plainly written on his face, was that it hadn't been for decades.

"If worst comes to worst, I can just reincarnate," Whale said. Once again, he left plenty unsaid, about what an arduous and time-consuming process that was. He might not see them again for years.

At last, Blue Whale King reached the edge of the hole. He tried to set Link and Generic down gently, but a Black Order soldier hurled another grenade from over a hundred feet away, making him stumble. He twirled around as he tried to regain his balance, and Whale, Link, and Generic fell backwards into the pit.

**It looks like RUBES's hopes are up in the air.**

Strike and Rosa flew in with their damaged planes, watching in horror as Whale, Generic, and Link fell into the pit. Flying lower, they strafed the Black Order cavalry, but the returning fire was enough to bring down their damaged planes. They too ended up falling into the pit.

With brutal efficiency, Generix, Tsarina, and their remaining soldiers finished off the Go Ren and Armed & Ready soldiers guarding the pit, and found the path to descend into it.

**Down in the pit, with the ruins of the APCM. This is where it all ends.**

The floor of the former cavern was an eldritch place. Mixed among the heaps of wrecked machinery and chunks of fallen ceiling were shards of Bragg, D-Spair, and an unknown third variant. While Bragg and D-Spair glowed red and purple, respectively, this last type was bright green. Along with many other colors, from hybrids with the other types. These were the remains of the Power Core Bragg crystal. Had it all fissed in the explosion, the entire planet of r/RWBY would be gone.

The radiant effects of all the different crystals made the eldtritchness of the place. Bragg made one proud and confident, while D-Spair did the opposite. The green crystals seemed to mess with time. What is, what was, what could be, and what could have been all swirled together in the memories of anyone who got too close to it. Some even heard voices.

_It started out as a mild curiosity in a junkyard, and now it's become a great spirit of adventure._

_When men were killing the whales, they were destroying their own future._

_We are always getting away from the present moment. Our mental existence, which are immaterial and have no dimensions, are passing along the Time-Dimension with a uniform velocity from the cradle to the grave._

_We're all stories in the end, just make it a good one, eh_?

Peter s. Nachbar was hard at work scrounging for parts and attempting to build a portal generator, as Austin, Alfonse, and the Petal to the Metal troops stood guard.

"So, uh, how long is this going to take?" Alfonse asked.

"Longer, if you interrupt me," Peter said. "Sorry, but I cannot be disturbed."

Alfonse just nodded. Austin put his hand on his shoulder.

When Blue Whale King fell into the pit, he cushioned Link and Generic's fall with his body as he landed on top of a large chunk of the green crystal. His Kaiju form finally stopped working, and he changed shape. But instead of turning back into his humanoid form, he reverted back to his 92 foot long, full-sized Blue Whale form.

Link was distraught, but he ran to where Peter was, and as he promised, did not look back. Generic did the same, but stole a glance back, earning a baleful glare from Whale.

Moments later, Strike and Rosa's planes fell into the pit as well, and their pilots jumped out and parachuted down as they slammed into the pit walls.

Peter and the others were already looking up when Link and Generic ran over.

"Peter! Austin! Alfonse!" Link cried out.

"Link, Generic, we're glad you made it," said Peter. "Listen, I need your help. Only you two have the technical expertise of anyone here to help me."

"I know," said Link. "That's why I came. I caused this mess, I need to fix it."

"Very good," Peter said. "I need you to find me more Bragg chunks, roughly fist sized, along with copper wires, atron energy cells, power converters, tachyon stabilizers…" He listed off the parts he needed, and Link and Generic went to find them.

Meanwhile, Strike and Rosa rushed to see if Blue Whale King was okay.

"Whale?" Strike asked, looking the gigantic blue torpedo in his grapefruit-sized eye. "Whale, are you okay?!"

"Please stay with us," said Rosa.

Whale said nothing, but his eye flicked between Strike and Rosa. It was at an unusually slow speed. Not as if he was moving slowly, it more resembled a slowed down film.

Whale responded at last, but whatever he said, it was too deep and stretched out to understand. As if it had been slowed down.

"Time is behaving strangely," said Strike.

"This is very odd," said Rosa.

"Tell me about it," Strike muttered.

They went to Peter, who was assembling a large hoop of metal as Link and Generic brought him parts and Austin, Alfonse, and the Petal to the Metal troops stood guard.

"Is he okay?" Austin asked. "Will he make it?"

"He seems to be slowed down in time," Strike said. "Like a second for him is a minute for us."

"Then that should give him more time," said Alfonse.

"Zuch a pity," said a women's voice in a Russian accent from behind them. They turned around, and saw Tsarina, Generix, and about two dozen Black Order soldiers pointing guns at them. RUBES pointed their own guns back at them.

"He vill have to watch your deaths on fast forward."

"Tragic?" Strike asked. "Is that you?"

"Your Tragic is dead," said the woman. "I am Tsarina."

"**And I'm Generix, but you already know who I am. It's time for **_**our **_**timeline to take over. The weak possibilities must die.**"

"You should be dead," said Generic.

"**Not the first time I've heard something like that today,**" Generix replied. "**But it was about Arkos of Erusea and Guns N' Roses. You'll be glad to know that we restored the balance.**"

"No," Alfonse said, almost whispering, as a tear ran down his face.

"And where's Sphinx and Hoesack?" Austin asked. "Indisposed? Late?"

"It's just us," said Tsarina. "Just the pit. Ve are all that is left. Just this pit of bulldogs."

"So this is it, then," said Generic. "All the survival of the memes is in this pit. This is the final confrontation, the end of the war."

"**And it ends now, weak self. We have defeated all your ships, destroyed all your strongholds. You have no chance against us. Surrender now, and your suffering will end sooner.**"

"I could say the same to you," Generic replied.

"Stop this now!" Link shouted as he stepped forward. "This is all _my _fault. I'm the reason you're here. So take me, and leave them alone!"

"Link, no!" Strike said.

"I'm tired of running," Link said. "I'm tired of losing. I've said it before, but this will be the last time. The Black Order ends here. Take me, and do what you want to me, but leave this timeline alone and go back to yours."

Generix, Tsarina, and the Black Order soldiers laughed.

"**Admirable, but mistaken,**" said Generix. "**What you do affects others. You can't just take it all on yourself and expect us to leave with you as a human sacrifice. We want this world, and we are going to take it. And there's nothing you can do to stop it.**"

"Starting with killing you," Tsarina said, pointing her shaska at Strike and Rosa. "I don't know why, but I veel an intense hatred for you. I'm sure I will remember vat you did to deserve it."

"We did not do anything," said Rosa.

The Black Order moved closer.

"One more step and we open fire," said Peter.

"Very well," said Tsarina. "Troops, kill them all!"

The Black Order soldiers opened fire, while Tsarina and Generix charged. The Petal to the Metal troops either found cover to shoot from, or went to protect Peter and the portal he was building. Strike and Rosa ended up in a swordfight with Tsarina, while Link and Generic fought Generix. Austin and Alfonse continued to guard Peter.

"**I can only imagine the guilt you must feel**," Generix said to Link, thrusting at him with his bayonet while dodging a slash from Generic. "**By your own admission, you caused this.**"

"I put my guilt toward fixing this," Link retorted. "And don't you mean to say that you can only imagine being able to feel guilt at all? The weight of it would crush you otherwise!"

"**Touché,**" Generix said. "**But guilt is a useless emotion, designating the weak. I'm stronger without it!**"

"You do not know what true strength means!" Generic shouted, shooting at Generix but missing. "All those who've risked and sacrificed their lives to stop you, despite their fear, they are strong! Link here, who faced the terror of admitting his guilt and working to set things right despite the threat of a lynch mob, is the strongest of all of us!"

Generix only laughed.

**Meanwhile, the fight with Tsarina**

"Tragic, this isn't you," said Strike. "Inside you is a strong, independent, and kind woman, and a good person who would never hurt us!'

"Come back to the light," Rosa said. "Remember your true self."

"This is my truest self," said Tsarina, as Rosa blocked her swing at Strike. She parried Rosa's half-hearted counterattack. "I am perfectly content. It is you who have conflict within. It holds you back."

"No, said Strike, trying to force Tsarina's sword out of her grip. "We know our path, and it is the correct one."

Tsarina smiled. "Oh really? Then why have you not struck a blow on me? There vere several times when you could have. Your senseless hope that I will change holds you back. It vill be your downfall."

"We trust love," said Rosa. "That can never be our downfall."

"Famous last words," Tsarina said. With a flurry of attacks, she disarmed Rosa and Strike, but did not attack them. Instead, she sprinted to the soldiers guarding Peter, and ran Alfonse through with her saber.

"Alfonse, NO!" Austin screamed, rushing to his friend's side. He aimed his rifle at Tsarina, but she knocked it out of bis hands, and sliced his throat after pulling the saber out of Alfonse.

"Not… again…" Austin choked out, as blood spurted from his neck.

"It will be all right," Alfonse said, as the bloodstain on his chest grew and the light faded from his eyes. "This is fine. It will work out. Everything… is… fine… it… will… all… get… better… everythin…" his words trailed off as he stopped breathing.

"NO!' Peter roared, forgetting his task. He tackled Tsarina and stabbed her in the eye with a sharp piece of D-Spair.

"AAAAAUUGGGHHH!" she screamed, shoving Peter off and convulsing as she swung her sword every which way. One slash hit Peter, slicing across his face and chest, leaving a gash two inches deep. He collapsed in pain, falling below the reach of her wild swings.

"What?!" "**What?!**" Generic, Link, and Generix looked over at what had just happened.

"Peter, you fool!' Generic cried.

**"It is already over,**" Generix said.

"No it's not!" Generic shouted, redoubling his attacks on his evil, yellow-haired counterpart. "Link, run! Finish what Peter started! You are our last hope!"

Link bolted away from Generic and Generix, toward Peter's unfinished portal generator. Tsarina blocked his path, a terrifying spectre of rage. Smoke rose and blood poured from the purple crystal lodged in her eye socket, and she held her blood-soaked shaska out, ready to pounce on Link and dismember his every organ.

Link stopped in his tracks, but Strike and Rosa moved in between him and Tsarina.

"We'll hold her off," Strike said. "Go finish that device!"

Tsarina tried to lunge, but Strike and Rosa stopped her with their swords.

At last, Link reached the unfinished portal creator, passing several Petal to the Metal soldiers fighting Black Order members as he went.

"The fate of RUBES is in your hands now," said Peter, lying on the ground near the device, blood seeping from the gash. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more."

"You've done more than anyone could possibly expect," Link said, and got to work on the device.

He tuned out the noises of war as he screwed in bolts, soldered wires, clamped crystals and batteries into place, and pieced together circuit boards. Link forced himself to ignore the sounds of his friends and allies fighting for their lives and taking hits as he worked on finishing the last device of the war.

He had to use all of his knowledge and skills, straining his mind to the absolute limit. He couldn't afford to mess this up, not again. He had to succeed where he failed the last time he tinkered with electronics on that spot.

Link lost track of time, his hands becoming numb. At last, most of the pieces seemed to be in place, he only had to connect the machine to the makeshift power supply. Link went to connect the wires, but before he could, he felt a stabbing pain through his torso.

Link fell to the ground on his face, in between the jury-rigged machine and the makeshift power supply. Tsarina rolled him onto his back with her boot and stabbed him again, leaving her sword in Link's chest.

"You have lost," she said. "Look around and see your failure." Link did so. Strike and Rosa lay on the ground with slashes across their bodies, their hands locked together. Generix stood with his foot on Generic's neck, who was missing an arm. Blue Whale King lay slowly bleeding out and crushing under his own weight, despite his slowed down time, and unable to do anything but watch. The Black Order troops were all dead, but the few remaining Petal to the Metal soldiers were injured or out of ammo.

"Any last words?" Tsarina asked.

"I'm sorry, everyone," Link said. He tried to push the sword up out of his chest, but Tsarina only dug it deeper.

Link's arms fell to his sides. His left hand touched the wire from the power supply, his right touched the wire from the portal device.

A terrible electric shock coursed through Link's arms and chest, turning the world white. This was the end. He couldn't breathe, move, or think. There was nothing but pain.

And then, it was over. When Link opened his eyes again, the world was different.


	17. Chapter 17

**As one final act of villainy, I split the finale! Mua ha ha!**

Link wasn't laying in rubble anymore, but on the floor of the fully built Anomaly Portal Connection Machine. There was no hole in his chest. Tsarina was gone. In her place stood Tragic Solitude, the _real _Tragic Solitude, with no Bragg-variant induced madness. She gave him a kind smile and offered Link a hand. He took it, and she pulled him to his feet.

Link looked around, dazed. Strike, Rosa, Generic, Austin, Alfonse, Melanie, and Peter stood around him, whole and unhurt. There was no blood. Generix was still there, but unconscious and handcuffed.

"My boy," Peter s. Nachbar said, walking up to Link (who flinched) and putting his hand on his shoulder, "Well done." Peter pulled Link into a hug.

"But," Link said, "how? What's going on?"

"When the portal opened," said Melanie, "we were able to connect it to this machine, from a timeline where the war never happened, and splice our timelines together. That war both did and did not happen. Everyone is alive again, though some of the damage remains."

"We basically turned it into an anomaly surge," said Generic. "Like Ship Survivor or Character Survivor."

"I told you everything would be all right," Alfonse said, smiling.

"I bet fewer people will be disappointed at the delay for Ship Survivor now," said Peter.

"Heh, yeah," said Link. "That was more than enough for now."

"Likewise," said Austin. "I'm eager for a break."

He looked around for a minute. "Can I go outside and see everyone?'

"Of course," said Strike. "But do be aware that the Mod Council has summoned us in a week."

Before the war, that would have filled Link with dread. But now, he was willing to accept his fate. He was filled with relief that they had won, defeated the Black Order, and brought everyone back. That was enough.

"We will follow you shortly," said Rosa.

As he went outside, the world was neither the pre-Catastrophe Subreddit, nor the hell that the war created. It looked somewhere in between. The roof was still gone over the fully repaired APCM, exposing the blue sky and the world above. Many of the buildings were half ruined, but they weren't heaps of rubble. There were no corpses or bones, no war machines. The city was filled with life.

Link ran, crying tears of laughter.

"Hey Link!" Blue Whale King called from where he'd been lying in the rubble, bleeding out and crushing to death under the weight of his full form while a green crystal slowed down his flow of time. But now, he was back in his humanoid form, with no injuries.

"Whale, you're okay!" Link ran and hugged him.

"I told you many times not to worry about me," Whale replied.

"I can't believe we won," Link said. "I thought I was a goner."

Whale shuddered. "Yeah, that wasn't pleasant. I'm just glad it's all over, and I can't believe everyone's back! This exceeded my wildest hopes."

They looked around, and saw the Petal to the Metal soldiers conversing with each other, and the former Black Order troops. There was no reason to fight anymore.

"I guess Petal to the Metal won, then," said Link. "They were the last ones left."

"I guess they did," said Whale. "Hey, do you know where the others from the final battle are?"

"Inside, they said they'd be out shortly," Link replied.

**Afterward, the Pink Rose Gold High Council finally reunited. But things were not the same.**

Link, Generic, Whale, Jannis, Armory, MacGregor, Venom, Strike, Penguino, and Sam Shazam were back in their old meeting room, the one where they met that fateful night before the Catastrophe. But the air was much different.

"I hate to say this," said MacGregor, "but I don't think we'll be getting our own planet for Pink Rose Gold any time soon."

"I get the same feeling," said Strike. "We need to focus on rebuilding."

"Right," said Jannis, his voice somewhat sullen.

"It's disappointing," said Sam, "but I understand."

"We'll still have good times," said Armory.

"That we will," Venom replied.

"The important thing is, we're all here," said Generic.

"And I'm sure we can go back to building Pink Rose Gold after Ship Survivor," said Whale.

"I gotta be honest," said Lord Penguino, "I'm getting tired of these wars. It has been an honor fighting with you, but I plan to resign my commission as Arkos Oligarch."

"Are you sure?" Strike asked. "We only just promoted you."

"I know, but I think it's for the best," Penguino replied.

"We're sorry to hear that," said Whale, "but we respect your decision. We hope you'll stick around."

Penguino nodded. He didn't have the heart to tell them, but he could feel the terminal Deletitis in his bones. When Ship Survivor ended, he would not respawn. Telling the others would only upset them, when they desperately needed some happiness.

"It feels so weird to be back here, after all that's happened," said Link. "And for some reason, I can't remember half of it."

"Ship Survivor is like that," said Strike. "You'll get used to it." He frowned. "At least, I _hope _one gets used to it."

Jannis laughed. "I'm sure we will eventually."

The others talked about how they couldn't remember much of it either. "I don't think any of us remember it well," said Venom.

"I remember I had this voice in my head called Tanya," said MacGregor. "I think we gave her a robot body?"

"I remember you talking about that voice," said Link, "but I'm pretty sure we never gave her a robot body."

"Whatever happened," said MacGregor, "the voice is gone now. I kind of miss her."

"I wish I'd lived past the start," said Sam. "So I had _anything _to remember." MacGregor patted his shoulder.

"I actually remember things pretty clearly," said Whale. "Am I the only one?"

"Yes, I think you might be," said Jannis.

**At the r/RWBY Announcement Hall**

The Grand Announcement Hall was the only room in the Subreddit larger than the Ship Wars Assembly Hall, used for gathering many thousands of people at once for, as the name implied, announcements. It was packed to the brim, full of people who wanted to know what happened. They talked amongst themselves, waiting for the Mod Council to arrive.

"Did we go through another Ship Survivor?" Inferno asked. "It sure feels like it, but I can't remember a thing."

"We did, in a manner of speaking," said Celtic. "It was an accident, but it ended up being similar."

"Please tell me I lived this time, at least," said Inferno.

"Nope, sorry," said Celtic, laughing. "You were dead from the start, when your manor got blown away."

"Damn," Inferno said.

MacGregor felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around, and saw a young blonde girl in a military uniform.

"What is it?" MacGregor asked. "Who are you?"

"I'm Tanya von Degurechaff," said the girl, with the same voice that had been in MacGregor's head. She shook his hand. "It's nice to properly meet you."

"What- but- how?"

"That explosion affected many timelines," said Tanya. "This was not the first time I had my mind sent to a different world, but this time, I got sent into your head. Now that the issue is resolved, I'm back in my own body."

"Thank you for all your help," MacGregor said. "I'll miss you."

"Don't worry," Tanya said. "I _will _see you again." She walked off into the crowd.

Rosey popped up from behind MacGregor, startling him. "So _she _was that voice in your head? She's so young. What a messed up child."

"Hey, be nice," MacGregor replied. "She's not that bad."

"I know, I'm just teasing."

"What an unorthodox experience for my first conflict," Rowing said. "I do hope Ship Survivor is less brutal."

Nitesco laughed. "You'll be disappointed, my friend."

"It's still worth participating in, though," said Austin.

"I'm going to get into the history books for sure this time," said Puzzarian. "All will remember my name!"

"And me," said Futtlescish. "Lady Austin will be mine!"

"We'll see," said Yukon.

"I'll see you there," said Yargama Frag. "The Black Order will rise again."

"Everybody, I think it's starting," said a harmony of voices from the trench coat of Various Rodents.

The enormous room started to quiet down as the Mod Council walked onto the stage. The leader was Sound of Stars, who looked like a stereotypical wizard. His flowing dark blue robes and pointed hat were covered in a glow-in-the-dark astronomical print. He had a long white beard, and crooked glasses.

"Hey guys," he said. "I just wanted to thank the three mods who are deciding to step down."

A murmur went through the room.

"Kuchen Jaeger, Nights Watchh, and Anti Logic would like to announce their retirement."

Kuchen Jaeger gave a short speech, and the others simply thanked everyone.

"Now," said Stars, "I would like to announce their successors. Please welcome Danjitsu, Curay, Chang Yuraptor, Ninjas I. A. Bag, Pale Blood Ink, and John Smitish."

Everyone clapped as the new mods walked onto the stage. Their council now included Sound of Stars, Ezreal XXIV, Jacxter, Chaos Pheonix, Danjitsu, Eldi XIII, Science I, Menolith, Lucifer Crowe, Unjax, Curay, Pale Blood Ink, Lcxlim, John Smitish, Ninjas I. A. Bag, and Chang Yuraptor.

Anti Logic looked back at the stage, and many got the feeling she would be back up there soon. Eldi had a devious gleam in her eyes, as if she was planning on causing Hiatus mischief.

"Uh oh," said Draztico.

"I sense it too," said Kazehh.

"Now," said Sound of Stars, "to address what we've all been wondering about. The strange events that caused all this damage, and erased or altered at least some of everybody's memories."

"Everybody's except mine," Blue Whale King muttered to himself. It was very strange, he had a clear memory of everything, but every single person he talked to had at least some significant memory loss and distortion, and not just from the time when they may have been dead.

"To explain what happened, here is Melanie Antiqua, owner and operator of the Anomaly Portal Connection Machine."

Sound stepped away from the microphone as Melanie walked onto the stage.

"Thank you, Stars. To begin,"

**And she repeats the story of how Link accidentally blew up the APCM, the general outline of the war, and how they fixed it by merging with a timeline where it never happened. Stuff you've all read before that we don't want to repeat.**

"Henceforth," said Melanie, "this event will be known as the Meme Ship Survivor. We may hold another one in the future, but rest assured it will be via a traditional Anomaly Surge and will not result in permanent damage. We thank everyone, especially those in RUBES, who fought to end the madness and restore peace and sanity.

"For those interested in the science of it, we have decided to name the green Bragg variant Alt-ernium. It will be very useful in alternate timeline research."

She stepped back from the microphone, and Sound of Stars walked up to it once again.

"Now," he said, "there is the matter of what to do with the leaders of the Dust Alliance and the Black Order."

Several guards walked in and brought The Black Sphinx, Hoesack, Tragic Solitude, Ebullient Prism, and Generix onto the stage in handcuffs.

Strike and Rosa's faces fell at seeing Tragic up there.

"The council was split on the issue. Half of them wanted to have them hung by their entrails and their corpses paraded throughout the Subreddit. The other half wanted to force them to read Coeur Al'Aran's entire collected works."

Many people shuddered at the second one. "That seems harsh," Exspiro muttered. Metas nodded in agreement.

The handcuffed former villains on the stage shuddered in fear, with tears running down their faces. With the notable exception of Generix, who looked smug as ever.

"This is so unfair," Hoesack grumbled.

"However," said Stars, "with the memory loss and distortion, a fair trial was not possible. Therefore, I have decided to pardon them."

Tragic, Prism, Sphinx, and Hoesack looked up in shock, not believing their luck, as the announcement hall went into an uproar.

"They're too dangerous to be kept alive!" shouted Only T. Results.

"Burn them at the stake!" yelled Stormzx.

And many similar cries.

Sound of Stars raised his hands and slowly lowered them, and the voices died down. "Rest assured we will keep a close eye on them, to keep them from trouble, and prevent any… vigilante justice. I also must add that this pardon does not extend to Generix. Seemingly unlike everyone else, his memory is crystal clear, and he has confessed to everything and more."

"**Yes, it's true!**" Generix shouted. "**All of it, and more! Every horrible thing that any of you remembers! I did it all, and then some! However evil you think I was, I was worse than that! And I don't regret it!**"

The vast crowd booed and shouted insults at him.

"I debated long and hard about what to do with him," said Stars. "At last, I decided to leave his fate in the hands, or flippers, of one of those he has caused the most harm to, and the only other person with a clear memory of the events.

"Blue Whale King, please come up to the stage."

"What? Me?" Whale walked onto the stage.

"It's up to you what happens to him," said Sound. "What is your choice?"

"This is rather sudden," said Whale, "but I do have an idea. You said he also had a clear memory? Then first, I have an announcement of my own."

Without waiting for permission, Blue Whale King grabbed the microphone. "Seeing as how I have a clear memory, and after interviewing dozens of Redditors for what they _do _remember, I have decided that I will write a book covering this event, as Yukon does for Ship Survivor. As for Generix, I sentence him to be my personal assistant to wait on my every whim and help me write until this project is completed. His bold speech will be excellent for narrative transitions."

Generix fell to his knees in despair. "**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**"

"Will I be getting royalties?" Yukon asked.

"I'll give you a Gold award if I appear in _New Gods_," Whale replied.

"Pass."

"Your loss, then."

**There you have it, then. The reason I have to cooperate with Whale and write these stupid transitions! Thank Oum it's almost over!**

"Hey wait," called Link. "What about me? I'm the one who started all of this!"

"Everyone has forgiven you," said Stars. "We decided that you have suffered enough. Just don't do it again."

Link looked around, and saw only smiles. He finally accepted it. For the first time since before the Catastrophe, he felt truly at peace.

**After the meeting**

Tragic Solitude walked down the hall, a storm of emotions rushing through her. Relief, the lingering adrenaline from the fear, and guilt.

She almost didn't see Strike and Rosa blocking the hall in front of her. She noticed just in time and stopped dead in her tracks, then backed up several steps.

"Please don't hurt me," she begged.

"We're not going to," said Rosa.

"We just want to talk," said Strike.

"Okay then," said Tragic, but she was still prepared to bolt at any moment.

"We know that the Bragg, D-Spair, and Alt-er in your body corrupted your mind," said Strike. "But we still saw glimpses of the amazing person you really are. Now that you're well again, we should be able to get along much better. Is it true that you still have feelings for me, and find Rosa exceptionally attractive?"

Tragic said nothing, but she could not conceal her blush.

"If it's okay with you," said Rosa, "we wanted to add you to our relationship."

Tragic looked up. This was beyond her wildest dreams. "Really? You really mean it?"

"More than I've meant anything," said Strike, and pulled them all into a three-way kiss.

They soon had their first battle, chasing down the blue-haired harlot Lewdnep Vasilias, who'd taken a picture of them.

"How entertaining," said a very nondescript man. He took a picture of the chase, but no one pursued him. People did not notice Nobody Owens.

**Jaunrrha Citadel, r/ArkosForever, the next day**

Blue Whale King, Strike Freedom D'Elise, Chaos Vulpix, and Vaniellis were in a meeting room on the _Protect_, looking through a window. The massive cyan capital ship was in the atmosphere, supervising the repair of Arkos's capitol. They all watched in satisfaction as another ship lowered a new crystal dome onto the city, replacing the one that shattered in the Catastrophe.

Once that was done, they went and sat at the table.

"We need to discuss the state of the Oligarchy," said Blue Whale King. "Penguino resigned shortly after appointment. Presbyter IJustRead Everything retired, and General Reno Wolf and Governor Wingnut have moved to the Discord Galaxy. It's time for a reorganization."

"I would like to continue as the Oligarchy's advisor," said Vulpix.

"Yes," said Blue Whale King. "But the main issue is, we can't seem to maintain a group of 5 where everyone is active. For some reason, only up to 3 at a time proactively maintain their duties."

"I've noticed that too," said Strike. "It is frustrating. Should we try to find better members?"

"Is that why you brought me here?" Vaniellis asked.

"Yes and no," Whale replied. "I propose reorganizing the Oligarchy into a Triumvirate, with myself, Strike, and Vaniellis as the members. Vulpix will continue as advisor. All in favor? I."

Whale raised his hand, and Strike, Vulpix, and Vaniellis followed.

"I."

"I."

"I."

"It's settled then," said Whale. Welcome to the club, _Triumvir _Vaniellis."

"This is a greater honor than I ever anticipated," said Vaniellis.

"You earned it," said Strike.

**Three months later, at the Ship Wars Assembly Hall**

The representatives were gathered in the hall once again. After 13 months, Ship Survivor III was finally about to begin. The Anomaly Surge would merge the whole Subreddit with a medieval alternate universe, but not everyone would be at the forefront of events. Being in the hall guaranteed that one would have an alternate self to merge with and share the experiences of during the event.

"At last," said Blue Whale King. "I'm going to make a difference this time. I did not do nearly as much as I should have last year, but this time, I will make a name for myself! The history books will tell of Admiral Bluewhale!"

Jannis smirked. "Careful, Blue, that attitude might turn you into an insufferable egomaniac in Yukon's world."

"Ha, as if you have any room to talk, mister cult leader. The Church of Thorns is going _DOWN!_"

"Easy, buddy," said Strike.

"I wish we could be on the same side," said JMHS Rowing, "but I must support White Rose."

"Likewise," said Vaniellis. "You will be a worthy opponent."

"Hopefully sticking to Snowflake Protection will keep me out of the villain's camp," said Link.

"I don't mind being a villain," said Yuichiro. "White Rose forever!"

"I'm going to live this time," said Inferno. "If nothing else, I'm going to live!"

"Don't count on it," said Celtic. "Though I hope to win. Third time's the charm!"

"I do hope nothing _too _humiliating happens to Inferno this time," said Generic. "Like being turned into a woman again."

"Don't remind me," Inferno muttered. "And don't forget, it could just as easily happen to you."

"This is our chance," said Sphinx. "The Black Order will rise again. There will be no one to stop us in that world."

"I'll be with you," said Hoesack. _Though I'M going to take charge this time._

"And I as well," said Yargama Frag.

Quixotic Quail walked into the room, shoving the twin doors open with a loud bang.

"WHATUP, BITCHES," he called, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room.

Several people complained at his obnoxious entrance, but Austin, Nitesco, and Gwydion welcomed him.

"So you're the famous Quixotic Quail," said Blue Whale King, shaking his hand. "Nice to finally meet you. Will you help us take down the Church of Thorns?"

"Of course," said Quail. "Team ANGQ will be back together to defeat the tyrants!"

Austin, Nitesco, and Gwydion cheered.

"And after that," Quail said, "We'll take down _all _the big and powerful ships, starting with the Big Four!"

"Wait, no," said Whale. "Leave Arkos and Renora alone."

"Nope. All big ships must burn."

"Some hero you are," Whale said, and walked back to the other Arkosians and Renorans, disillusioned.

"I should have warned you about him," said Strike.

"Oh, don't get me started on him," said Celtic. "Team ANGQ were no heroes, and Quixotic is the worst!"

"I have to go to the bathroom," said Gwydion, and went to walk out of the hall.

"Be back soon," said Austin. "We don't want you to miss out."

"Yeah, the Anomaly Surge will start any minute," said Nitesco.

"I can't wait," said Vanellis.

"Agreed," said Alfonse. "It will be great to fight alongside you guys again."

A man named Horsea walked around the hall, listening to all the factions discuss things. This would be _his_ year. None of them would expect him to win, and he would take advantage of that to do so.

The air shimmered.

"It's starting!" Someone said.

The shimmering intensified, then the air went white as the world changed. Soon, it was entirely different. A new adventure was beginning.

**Okay, that's enough. We thought about putting in a paragraph or two of what happens in that othr universe, but any more and Yukon really will make us pay those royalties.**

**Thank GODS, IT'S **_**FINALLY**_ **OVER! NO MORE OF THIS!**

**Be sure NOT to leave any comments. Especially not long ones. And I'm not just saying that because Whale said he'd set me loose to terrorize the Subreddit if he didn't get enough comments. Nope. Totally not the reason.**

**See you all next year, in **_**Survival of the Memes 2: The Search for More Karma**_**!**

**Maybe.**

**Ehhh, probably not.**

**THE END**


End file.
